What are the not very clear red flags? They should also be very careful about online dating?

Splatmate24

Throughout the night I've been messaging a guy I met on Facebook dating. He texted constantly and let me know if he was at work or at university. Has been texting  holiday. Called me but couldn't think on the spot and talk well. I also asked if he had a girlfriend and he said no and did ask. I replied to make sure. I met him on Facebook dating and we have been messaging back and forth, and we arranged to meet at M&S in the City. 

Binky1234

When you meet.

Let someone you trust know you have arrived OK.

When you leave arrange a Taxi and let someone know what firm you have used. Even better arrange to get picked up if you can.

Stay Safe watch your drink, don't go back to a unattended drink and most important stay safe and trust your gut instinct.

I hope  your date goes well 💓

Splatmate24

@Binky1234 I already been taking my mum with me and already am in safe public place . always at day light and i was asking for red flags that are not clear .

Binky1234

My apologies misread your post, sorry cannot advise red flags apart from go with your gut instinct.

Hannah_Alumni

Hello @Splatmate24

I think you are doing the right thing by meeting somewhere you know and that is public. With dating, especially online dating, communication is hard and things written can sometimes be taken a different way to which they were meant. I think red flags that you are watching out for will be easier to spot when meeting in person. I agree with Binky, to go with your gut. But I will also say, first meetings are always a little awkward. I'd relax as much as possible, get through the date and then come away and have a think afterwards. Talk to your mum, friends or us about it if you are worried.

I really hope you have a lovely time, it's always nice to meet new people and make new connections  

Splatmate24

@Hannah_Scope I have been upset with very today with uncomfortable situations  with my younger sister. I got a problem can't real tell if they any red flags. Guy that I'm meeting has I think has aspergers. I think maybe my younger sister is in autism spectrum..

Puja

Hiya @Splatmate24  I can relate about meeting people online and in real life. It can be daunting apart from the above useful advice 
I found a good article i was looking at myself about

red flags 🚩 

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/red-flags-in-relationships

and conversley green flags too 💚 

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/green-flags-in-relationships

Hope they are useful and let us know how it went? Good luck 🤞🏽 

Hannah_Alumni

I'm so sorry you had such an upsetting day @Splatmate24.

How are you feeling today? 

Splatmate24

@Hannah_Scope is has been OK and being avoiding using the main bathroom at night times . other things are going OK . year this is has not be a good year .

Hannah_Alumni

I'm so sorry @Splatmate24 but I'm glad it's been an OK day for you

I'm hoping everyone in the community has a better 2023.

Splatmate24

@Hannah_Scope is also has be OK today part from one thing that i was looking on Facebook and saw a person that i didn't like i know from different youth center .

Hannah_Alumni

The great thing about Facebook, they have a block feature. That way you won't see anything from them when having a search  

Splatmate24

@Hannah_Scope yes i have used blocked feature a lot on other dating apps .the meetup is not happening . been looking for other user since one by one hasn't yet work out anytime that i try one on one . might as well check other option since i getting sick of being left out and not getting anywhere near .

Hannah_Alumni

Oh I'm so sorry, as they say "plenty of fish in the sea".

I'm glad you are being so aware of your self care with dating  

Splatmate24

I have looked online for events . i know that i don't like any events that has loud noise but i found some events to try in Liverpool area for learning disability groups. online dating hasn't even work but trying other disabled dating site that are aim for learning disability .

L_Volunteer

It is really positive that you are aware of your needs and the things to avoid @Splatmate24. Do these learning disability groups have something like sensory-friendly hours/sessions?

I have done a quick search for you based on the information you provided. I have found quite a few options by typing into Google "Liverpool sensory-friendly events". 

Sometimes these can be helpful - I am autistic so can empathise with needing to manage sensory input. Hopefully, you can find something suitable soon.

Please feel free to let us know how things go and if you need any further support with this 

Splatmate24

@L_Volunteer thanks you and has looked at it . I can't do Wednesday. Sunday,Saturday i can do as well of Monday . has looked at more learning disability dating agency. did sent a one email to one of the love2meetu learning disability dating agency and see hows is going. is my mum that kept going to loud noise area and always has be a bit more very hard to change here mind . dad hasn't be not good .
.

L_Volunteer

Is there a reason your mum chooses a loud noise area @Splatmate24 - for example, is it because there will be other people to make sure you are safe?

If so, it might be worth considering if there are public places which are quieter and more sensory-friendly. 

You have mentioned that your dad hasn't been too good. Would you feel comfortable sharing a little more with us about what you mean by this?

We are all here for you and listening to you if you would like to share more with us. Take care for now and we will look forward to, hopefully, hearing from you again soon 

Splatmate24

@L_Volunteer .   My mum want to see a show in Liverpool that was on noise side of banging .  I try to let know but tr force to come forward .  My dad can be more om immature side comes with getting sick again about through he was blaming me to getting him sick but instead is was covid and i didn't even have covid yet . i did get bit of mini cold from I think from one places i work at . that was before dad getting covid my arm . i scream and shouts and then sending having meltdown since is very loud and similar how fireworks go off .  one lady did try to help me but my said no again then when meltdown did happene and didn't want to move and stay there . My dad can be more om immature side comes with getting sick again about through he was blaming me to getting him sick but instead is was covid and i didn't even have covid yet . i did get bit of mini cold from I think from one places i work at . that was before dad getting covid. now i got headphone and swimming earplug that does help a lots but still hate loud noise and loud people . Im ok with people talking as calm talking and not very loud talking that i sometimes here more with some women and sometimes some men also .

L_Volunteer

I can completely empathise with you on how noise can lead to a meltdown @Splatmate24. It is one of my triggers too.

It is just more unfortunate that the people around you seem less accommodating. It is really important to go to sensory-friendly spaces where possible. Supportive people are so key.

It sounds really positive that you do have some things that help though - such as headphones and swimming earplugs