Hi, I'm ISITME! How best to deal with disability harassment from neighbour?

ISITME

Hello Scope Community ❤️

Thank you so much for accepting me on your platform.
I have only just discovered Scope Forum, and am so glad I have!

I would like to share my experience with other disabled friends, and am seeking sound advice, hopefully 🙏

I wanted to ask for your help in offering coping strategies on how best to deal with disability harassment from a neighbour. 

I’m all out you see. 

I’ve exhausted every avenue in seeking help over my neighbour’s behaviour towards me. 

Two years ago, I applied for a disabled parking bay outside my home, which is located in a tree-lined street. As there is a large mature tree directly outside my home (with uneven pavement, due to tree roots) council officers took the decision to install the bay a few metres further away from this tree — now positioning it, closer to my neighbour’s gate — located on a public road. 

Ever since then, I have been subjected to the most upsetting, humiliating, unwanted behaviour, and have felt so desperately alone.

I have lived at my property for several years, and had not experienced any issues until the disabled bay was installed.

The very worst thing is having a CCTV trained on my garden — In full view. I believe this is a breach of my human rights, article 8, right to a private life.

The ICO did remind my neighbour of their duties as data controller, but, it has made no difference.

The once tidy, shared hedge —we shared without issue for 4 years — now exceeds the maximum height. I have no view out of the left hand side of my window, bar a tall hedge my neighbour has grown.

I feel hemmed in. 

It also affects the quality of light.

The whole street has bore witness to my neighbour — for two years — placing their bins hard up against the kerb next to my car door — preventing me access to my car — every bin day.

 

The Council tell me it’s a police matter. The Police say it’s a council or civil matter.

Me. All I want is to be left alone. 

Living in chronic pain is hard enough. 

The the last thing I need is the added stress of taking a civil action out. Who could be bothered with the stress of that? Plus, I think an harassment order is a red herring for neighbours. You simply cannot avoid bumping in to each other. 

As a protected character, I was so disappointed to discover there was absolutely no support from Police Scotland, my local council, Cllr Kevin Stewart, ICO, Citizen’s Advice Bureau, SACRO Mediation, and various disability charities I had reached out to around the UK. 

Sadly, I was to soon discover — the hard way — the supposed ‘support’ in word, promised — is mere lip-service to disabled people. 

In practice, there is zero support. 

Thank You for lending me your ear ❤️

Sandy_123

Hi @ISITME
Welcome to scope forum. Sorry to read about the neighbours attitude, it's definately not you. It sounds like you've done everything you can. Have you spoke to the neighbour about it.

ISITME

Hi Sandy, yes. I’ve tried everything. It’s very isolating.

Cher_Alumni

Hello @ISITME and a warm welcome, I'm glad you found us although it sounds like in particularly difficult circumstances. It must be very challenging emotionally, how are you coping? Do you have much support from family and friends?

You have exhausted so many options already, like you say, and I'm sorry you've had no joy in resolving the situation. Can I ask, what did the neighbour say when they were approached about it? Do they understand the rationale behind where the parking bay is?

You've already actioned much of what can be done, and I understand how stressful seeing a solicitor would be and your hesitancy around that. Hmm, let's get our thinking caps on. I know our members are very knowledgeable about this kind of thing.

Just to let you know, I've amended the title of your thread and moved it to our Housing and independent living category to help more people spot it and reply.

Take care and please do lean on us for support. We are here for you.

ISITME

Hello @Cher_Scope

my family are supportive, and encourage me to just ignore. Easier said than done, though. Neighbour just totally blanks me

L_Volunteer

It sounds really positive that your family are supportive @ISITME. Though, I can hear ignoring them is easier said than done.

Would anything, in particular, help this to feel more manageable for you at the moment? It seems like your neighbour blanking you is particularly difficult for you at the moment.

Please don't hesitate to let us know if we can do anything to help, even if that's just listening to you. We are all here for you and listening to you.

Take care for now and we will look forward to, hopefully, hearing from you again soon 

ISITME

Hello L_Volunteer

My neighbour blanking me is absolutely fine with me. Really. What is very upsetting is my neighbour’s intent towards me because she does not think I’m disabled. 

L_Volunteer

Ah, thanks for clarifying that for me @ISITME. Yes, I can hear how that might be upsetting for you. 

You know the truth! And, unfortunately, some people just won't believe us even when we are telling the truth