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Hi, my name is AlexTH! Relationships with a newly deteriorating disability

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AlexTH
AlexTH Community member Posts: 4 Listener
Relationships with a newly deteriorating disability 

my partner and I have been together 9 months, and I’m going through a POTS diagnosis, and the lack of emotional and physical intimacy in our relationship has become a cause of great concern to me , especially as my partner isn’t particularly verbally expressive 

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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,499 Disability Gamechanger
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    A warm welcome to the community from me too @alexth :) 

    It can be difficult when we feel as though the nature of our relationship has changed, and aren't sure how to go about addressing it.

    I can see you've said your partner isn't very verbally expressive. Is there another method of communication they find easier, such as writing or drawing? 

    National Campaigns Officer at Scope, she/her

  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,911 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @AlexTH

    Your post reminded me of a concept called love languages that went viral on TikTok last year. It was brought up by author Gary Chapman who said there are 5 love languages that describes how we receive love from others.
    They are;
    • Words of Affirmation - Saying supportive things to your partner
    • Acts of Service - Doing helpful things for your partner
    • Receiving Gifts - Giving your partner gifts that tell them you were thinking about them
    • Quality Time - Spending meaningful time with your partner
    • Physical Touch - Being close to and caressed by your partner
    Each of us differs and by learning to give love in the way our partner can best receive it, we can create stronger relationships :)
    Hannah - She / Her

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • AlexTH
    AlexTH Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    @Teddybear12. I’ve raised my concern that I’d like to talk , but she isn’t making time for me like she used to 
  • AlexTH
    AlexTH Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    @Tori_Scope oh no it’s not a type of communication issue/ communication barrier , she’s very reserved as a person & what @Hannah_Scope says about live languages makes sense - it may be the case my partner has a different one to me , but Because she doesn’t tell me anything It feels like I’m powerless to change things : how can I improve where we’re at if I don’t have input from her ? It’s really frustrating 
  • AlexTH
    AlexTH Community member Posts: 4 Listener
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    @Tori_Scope I completely get where you’re coming from: but in this inter-abled relationship I’m the one with all the special needs! 😂 there’s so much wrong with me I sometimes joke I’m collecting disabilities like carebears! 😂 

    so in short it’s not a communication issue in that way : my partner is neurotypical and able bodied.
  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,911 Disability Gamechanger
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    @AlexTH Maybe start with words of affirmation and work your way through them? See what your partner responds to and they may open up a little more. For example, I don't like acts of service and I had to communicate that after being frustrated by it 😂 Won't be how you want the input but it may be a start? 
    Hannah - She / Her

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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