Hi, my name is Julie awaiting an autism assessment

Julie0810

Hi everyone, my daughter is 14 and awaiting an autism assessment. She self harms and is struggling socially. If anyone can relate I'd love to chat.

SueHeath

Good afternoon @Julie0810 welcome to our great group, you've got some great support already with Biblioklept,
When you have the chance have a look around the site, any problems just ask, some one is bound to be on line.

Cher_Alumni

Hello @Julie0810 and a warm welcome to our online community, how's it going today?

I'm sorry to hear about the challenges your daughter is going through right now. I imagine, as a mum that is particularly difficult for you too. How are you coping?

I'm going to email you shortly, to see if there is anything we can do our end to help support you both. Please keep an eye on your inbox for that and get back to us when you can 

Otherwise, feel free to roam our community and get to know our lovely members a little better; our Autism and neurodiversity category is where you can find others going through similar. Take care.

Julie0810

Hi Biblioklept,

Thank you so much for your reply and you have absolutely nailed my situation! I am so grateful for the positive comments as I feel so down on myself at the moment and like I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not.
I've struggled over the past year trying to get her to talk to someone and she has refused to talk to anyone - I have discovered most things by checking on her phone and then trying to gently open that conversation so she tells me herself. I pointed her towards and LGBTQ youth club which she loved straightaway, and with some more gentle pushing she is now getting counselling arranged through them. Just waiting to find out how long the waiting list is, and also waiting for an autism assessment appointment.

School have not done anything in particular other than trying to check in with her, but without a diagnosis it's hard to ask them to tell teachers how to help her. She's very academic and seems to be doing well even when she appears to be struggling.

Julie0810

I'm going to see if I can have a chat with her about it, thank you. I've found a Reasonable Adjustments list on the Autistic Girls Network website which I can use as a basis. Honestly I can't tell you how reassuring what you've said is, I am constantly questioning whether I could have done things differently. Even the fact that autism has never once crossed our minds until I read a chat she was having with her friend about it, about a year ago.

L_Volunteer

Is there a particular thing your daughter is struggling with @Julie0810? - as an autistic person, I appreciate the disparity between academic success and other difficulties. Unfortunately, other difficulties can be missed though when there's academic success.

Other difficulties, for me, are particularly related to navigating a neurotypical world and the social struggles that come with this. Additionally, executive functioning can be difficult! And this can cause a feeling of overwhelm despite success. 

I wish you the best of luck with trying to have a chat with your daughter about it. In all honesty, even all autistic people are different and have different triggers so your daughter is best placed to say what's more challenging for her at the moment.

It can be difficult to identify these things so please try not to blame yourself. Though, I recognise that as a parent you're more likely to do this. We are here for you and listening to you whilst you try to navigate this and you don't have to face it alone 

Julie0810

Thank you so much for your reply. I would say she is working out how she works at the moment, but in particular is finding friendships and relationships difficult, as well as questioning her own gender and sexuality. I think she has some sensory issues so I have tried to get her sensory toys etc which she seems to appreciate. She really struggles to communicate how she's feeling, which is what is making it so hard for me as a parent, but I guess is super hard for her too.