Hi, I have mild learning difficulties, suspected dyspraxia and am struggling socially.

Zumbagirl_789

Hi I am new here just saying hello 👋 

Poppy_

Hi, welcome to the community!
How are you?
feel free to explore the community and ask any questions you may have.

Hannah_Alumni

Hello @Zumbagirl_789

Welcome to the community! How are you today? 

Zumbagirl_789

Am ok thanks. I have mild learning difficulties and I have always been misunderstood. I try not to tell people as I get treated like I am not capable of anything but if I don’t mention it then when I don’t understand things people accuse me of being stupid. I also want think I have dispraxia. I struggle with coordination like opening things, chopping things and can be clumsy. I struggle a bit with social situations too, but I am I am desperate for a friend, I’ve tried loads of social groups but nothing. My doctor won’t diagnose me as doesn’t want me to have a label, but I have issues at work to with people not understanding me, so i think that it would make things easier. 

Sorry for the rant but wanted to see if anyone else in the same situation 

Cher_Alumni

Hi @Zumbagirl and a warm welcome from me too, how's your day going?

Oh, rant away! We understand the challenges of being disabled and you're entitled to feel how you feel. It's tricky negotiating whether to share conditions with others, and I get the stigma you speak of with people presuming 'you are stupid'. It's clear you aren't, and that's more a reflection of people's poor awareness of mild learning disabilities then anything you are. 

In terms of the dyspraxia, I'm surprised your GP won't refer you as he doesn't want you to have a label. Getting a diagnosis opens doors to getting support where we need it and it sounds like you are keen to explore the problems you're having with your co-ordination. Would it be possible for you to speak again with your GP about the impact this is having on you at work and in life more generally? Or even ask to see a different doctor? This NHS link gives more information about the diagnosis of dyspraxia in adults.

Also, is your employer aware of your condition and the difficulties you're having? I wonder if there's any reasonable adjustments they could make to help your working life become more easier? Would you be open to discussing this with them?

I'm sorry you're struggling to make friends too, you sound so lovely and anyone would be lucky to have you as a mate! Which groups have you tried? And what was your experience, if you're comfortable sharing? Sorry, I'm throwing so many questions your way aren't I!  Going off your username, is zumba something you enjoy? I wonder if that would be a way of meeting new people and getting exercise at the same time?

Anyhow, please know we're here for a rant, vent or chat anytime you need us. Take care and I look forward to chatting again soon.

Zumbagirl_789

Hi 

I have actually been going to Zumba for about 10 years now, I do chat to the ladies that go but when ever I try arrange something everyone is too busy and I work shifts as well. 

With work I work as a Health Care Assistant on quite busy ward I’m pretty much confident doing most tasks without supervision now, but when I started I was supposed to have a mentor but I didn’t as they were off sick.  My line manager did go round and do various tasks with me to see if she could guide me a bit more which did help and we are supposed to work together but with Ward pressures and often Ward being short staffed it doesn’t always happen. 

I have learning difficulties rather then disability so I have been told by my GP and that has not helped matters either people getting that mixed up. 

I live independently not in shared accommodation or anything, I drive although can only drive automatic and have support from mum and dad but that is only when needed. I do all my own household chores cooking etc. So because I have apparently made myself too independent i can’t register myself as disabled as I’m not actually disabled. 

I also live on the Isle of Man. So we haven’t got the same facilities as the UK. 

I have been to various groups that meet for coffee etc and I am in St John Ambulance but taking a break from that for a while due to reasons I don’t wish to disclose. 

I am also gay and again living on the Isle of Man there isn’t really much in the way of LGBT. 

durhamjaide2001

Hi @Zumbagirl_789 welcome to the community 

Zumbagirl_789

Hi. Glad to see someone else in my situation I am a very sociable person just can’t seem to
Find anyone that doesn’t treat me like rubbish, use me or take advantage of me. Are you male or female? 

durhamjaide2001

I'm female 

Cher_Alumni

@Zumbagirl_789 Apologies for saying learning disabilities rather than difficulties. It is something that commonly gets confused, which I was clearly guilty of there, and I can imagine how annoying that is. 

Do you have one to one meetings with your line manager or supervision sessions? Maybe having a mentor could be something you discuss in those or your annual personal development reviews? Although the sooner you can get the support you need, the better your working life will be so please explore it some more if you feel comfortable bringing it up. 

It's great you live independently, with a little support from parents. I found learning to drive gave me a real confidence boost and some much needed freedom! In terms of registering yourself disabled, where would this be? 

Hmm, would joining a local LGBT group be something you'd consider or have you already given this a go? I've done a quick google search and there are some groups specific to the Isle of Man however it's important you keep as safe as can be if you attend meet ups!

Remember - we're always here if you need some virtual company 

Zumbagirl_789

Yes I do have one to one meetings when time permits. 

Yes I have tried LGBT groups, but I have not got any friends at all, so I had to go to something on my own and I actually got laughed at when I tried to make conversation with someone. 

Zumbagirl_789

Durham_jade fab what age are you if you don’t mind me asking? I’m 34. 

L_Volunteer

Really sorry to hear you have experienced this @Zumbagirl_789 It sounds like people have been treating you poorly rather than how you deserve!

The right people definitely won't laugh at you when you try to make conversation with them. They will only laugh with you when you make them chuckle.

This is more of a reflection of them than you but I know this doesn't take away from how you probably feel after experiencing it. 

To which, I am wondering, how are you feeling about things at the moment? We are here for you and listening to you, not judging you if you would like to share more with us.

Also, how are you finding the LGBT groups at the moment? I have heard mixed experiences with these but haven't attended any myself.

Hopefully, this isn't where the poor treatment has been. You deserve a lot more support and I hope you find your people soon