My mom has issues with using mainstream dating, but she doesn't have issues with me using disabled

Splatmate24
Splatmate24 Online Community Member Posts: 411 Contributor
edited February 2023 in Relationships

My mum seems to have an issue with me using mainstream dating apps or sites. I do not like the idea of attempting to use disabled online dating, however. Although I hate it very much, I still try to get back into disability dating. Although I said there were a lot of creeps and not-very-nice guys out there, I disagree with the idea that the same happens with mainstream dating. Additionally, I disagree that you can block people in mainstream dating, but not disabled people online. They still find ways to text or message you. None in me near my age are not interested in me but the be just be weird that seem to be more interested in me on disabled dating sites. I felt very uncomfortable using them. By the way, I have also had some experiences with women asking me out and asking very complicated questions. I am not attracted to women, but I am attracted to men.


Comments

  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,743 Online Community Programme Lead
    Hello @Splatmate24. Have you asked your mum why she has issues with you using mainstream dating sites and note ones aimed at disabled people? And have you tried explaining your view to her? It sounds like you both don't agree on it so maybe a discussion about why would help you both understand the other person's opinion more. 
    Let us know how you get on. 
  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Online Community Member Posts: 411 Contributor
    @Adrian_Scope . my mum thinks that i will get any match with people that have mild learning disability but my mum doesn't think that i make right decision to make comes to dating and in relationship . is always has be with a learning disabity to mild to moderate or severe  . I'm not interested in some men that are severe . i'm on the moderate side of learning disabity  . my mum doesn't like when i found guys through mainstream dating since most of them are very mild but i don't like since i all get with disabled dating sites are very older creepy guy that you can't blocked properly . i have try to talk about but my mum always very strict to only me when comes to dating but never strict with my other two sisters .  also has be some lesbian trying to flirt with me on disabled dating sites . I'm also has try a dating app called hiki but they kept rejecting me and friendzoning me . none on disabled dating or disabled apps are not looking for long term relationship . they seem to looking for friends or just lying about since they not interested . i'm not interested in being friends .


  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,922 Championing
    edited February 2023
    I really like that you have your own boundaries in place @Splatmate24. Boundaries help you to take care of yourself and keep yourself safe.

    You have mentioned trying to talk to your mum but your mum is always very strict with you. Would you feel comfortable sharing a little bit about what this looks like for you?

    You only need to share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. However, we are here for you and listening to you if you would like to share more with us  :)
  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Online Community Member Posts: 411 Contributor
    My mum always has more strict after my previous mainstream college that i went to and took a long time on buses to get their . there was some people and guys that you shouldn't do on buses and i also did swear lots while i was there . telling a guy to **** off and kept coming back . kept saying . dancing and siting on a guy lap and  didn't like that college and did started a new guy that was OK did have some relationship there but didn't work out since some girls try befriend me to just got closer  and try temp them to cheated in me . is happen a few times in my college when is was special learning disability college. these went as far of finding my Facebook social to cause more drama only when i got in relationship in college .
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,922 Championing
    It sounds like you have been through a really difficult time with relationships and friendships @Splatmate24 :(
  • surfygoose
    surfygoose Online Community Member Posts: 511 Empowering
    Although it’s frustrating for you, I expect your mum is only advising you from a place of love. I expect she is just feeling protective of you and doesn’t want you to get taken advantage of. I don’t know your exact situation but my mum does look out for me like that because she likes to be sure I am safe. 
  • dylan89
    dylan89 Online Community Member Posts: 26 Connected
    @splatemate24 I’ve been trying to find a partner to have a relationship with for 8 years I’ve got borderline learning difficulties trying to find someone who understands what it is like is difficult as some people judge you for having a disability but doesn’t change anything about the person if they have a disability just makes them more determined and stronger and I’ve been told I’ve got the symptoms of someone who has autism 
  • surfygoose
    surfygoose Online Community Member Posts: 511 Empowering
    You sound a very wise person dylan89 and caring giving good advice to others. I hope you find your special someone. 
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,922 Championing
    You also sound wise @surfygoose. Thank you to all of you for supporting one another - it is people like you who make this community the supportive and friendly space it is  :)

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