What is the reason that nothing works when I try to get a new boyfriend, but so far I haven't reache — Scope | Disability forum
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What is the reason that nothing works when I try to get a new boyfriend, but so far I haven't reache

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Splatmate24
Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
edited April 2023 in Dating, sex, and relationships
Reaching anywhere near my goal hasn't even worked so far. I have tried to meet people through groups, social events, clubs and maybe a pub, but nothing has worked. Also, I tried online dating and got nowhere near my goal of finding a new boyfriend. What else can I do or am I just a very unlucky short woman seeking short men to have a serious relationship with? I do not want to be with hookups, dads, or guys who are too tall. I also want to be with someone with a learning disability. Those are the only types of guys that I am looking for: respectful, honest and trustworthy men. Please do not ask why you need to date men with a learning disability. I've noticed more red flags with guys outside of my age range still trying to take their shot. I can't date men that are 18 years old. My age range is now 19 to 27. I am 24 years old. I had some horrible experiences with some tall guys playing mind games and being overly cooky. The last couple of days have been a mess with guys, so I'm not expecting any more guys on Snapchat. Despite my efforts, I still haven't reached my goal of finding a new boyfriend.
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  • iza
    iza Scope Member Posts: 703 Pioneering
    edited February 2023
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    Hi 👋 go for a trip out of UK. You are probably going to be more likely to meet man of your life. 
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Iza I  can't even do that outside of the UK since i can't drive, can't cook . my mum will always refuse to go outside of UK . is has be in UK .
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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
    edited February 2023
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    You really haven't had the best of luck, unfortunately, have you @Splatmate24?  :( I think it's honestly about your persistence - keep trying and keep asserting those boundaries of yours.

    The fact you are aware of what you want/don't want is such a huge stepping stone in finding what you want, rather than what you don't want. It gives you those red flags so you know who to think twice about / challenge. 

    Are there any groups you might also be able to experience, with people with similar interests, for example? I am just thinking this is another way to meet people which might eventually lead to relationships. 

    Would you like to talk about what you have experienced the last couple of days? It sounds really difficult and I am here for you and listening to you if you would like to share more with us. 

    Sending you virtual (sensory-friendly!) hugs  <3
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @L_Volunteer none groups in warrington or any events part from youth club but saw one thing on Manchester with printwork with but I'm not sure if I'm going to likes if . I'm not sure if they going be my age group or higher age group. set my age range is 19 to 30 .since i 24 year old . I'm not sure about others .yesterday was bad day that was stupid loud party with very loud speakers . i didn't want to dress and didn't get taxis back about 11;30 something . i don't like team type of things . also has try youth club in northwich but did met guys that already has girlfriend's more then one . met underage men that too bossy and  manspreading .   i don't like guys that like . also i was like a guy that is middle of introvert and extrovert extract   ambivert . even some users even try to message and try get they pass the age range . maybe i has put my age range a bit higher to see that maybe a bit a change if person mature after 25 year old .



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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    Do you want to talk more about your current thoughts regarding printwork at the moment @Splatmate24? I can hear you are having mixed thoughts about this at the moment. 

    You only need to talk about things you feel comfortable with and want to. However, I want to provide the space for you to talk about it if you wish to and feel comfortable with it. 

    Sounds like a time of thinking more about your boundaries for you, particularly around trying to find maturity. Hopefully, you'll have some more luck soon  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @L_Volunteer I was thinking about trying but has missed two since i wasn't that sure on yet, and I'm still not that sure . I don't like escalator, and I'm ok with some lifts and some stairs to walk up or down, but I don't like stairs that very step and don't have a break off point. 

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  • MollySco9
    MollySco9 Community member Posts: 5 Listener
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    Maybe try be less intent on finding someone, and let them come to you. Things happen in weird and wonderful ways
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @MollySco9 what if i already tried waiting and let things happen and never seem to work very well for me . 

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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    It sounds really frustrating that you have already tried but it doesn't seem to work very well for you @Splatmate24. 

    In terms of "missing two", would you feel comfortable expanding on what has been missed? I just want to hear you as clearly as I can.

    Lifts sound useful for you and some stairs sound ok, if not very steep  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @L_Volunteer . about the one of dating site called meet & match event pub in Manchester called printworks . i missed two events already . that also two more coming soon but i also found a new guy that seem a lot different from the other guys that i did match on Facebook . the new guy that i'm texting i match on Facebook dating . has be one of most successful dating site for me .  mean by waiting but i don't really go out part from volunteering and working on Wednesday . the new guy has the similar open learning disability to myself and only one that did stand out from rest of other guys from dating sites & Facebook dating .
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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    This sounds really positive @Splatmate24. Good luck with talking to the new guy. Please feel free to let us know how it goes and if you would like any further support  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community member Posts: 1,603 Pioneering
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    Try https://outsiders.org.uk/
    It may work for you 
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Wibbles my mum said no to it . 
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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    I can hear your mum said no to it @Splatmate24. Would you like to tell us a little more about how this makes you feel at the moment?  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @L_Volunteer. my mum didn't think is wasn't a dating sites .  is made me more annoyed since they only i think two learning disability dating sites that are aim for learning disability . one is meet&match and their membership is still closed . my mu is only strict with me with dating and relationship with only dating men with a learning disability but i don't really like since they might be more men with a learning disability but I might be limited on how personality that might be immature or mature . i was thinking about going a bit older men if younger men doesn't seem to work very well .

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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @hotstuff kept trying on what on disabled dating is just old men there and i uncomfortable on the disabled dating sites and apps . i used Facebook dating has be texting couple guys but stop messing me once i didn't put much effort in . then they started reply back . 

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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    I hear you @Splatmate24, especially as you feel more restricted and limited. Hopefully, you will find a space (or at least some guys) which/who you feel are more suitable for you soon :)

    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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