Generalised anxiety disorder, turned down for PIP...is it worth MR and how do I get evidence??
Hi. I was diagnosed in 2014 with generalised anxiety disorder, what prompted the visit to the GP was that I ended up basically harassing my then boyfriend and was arrested, he also got a restraining order against me, I then realised my reaction to being dumped wasn't 'normal', hence visiting my GP and then being referred to a Psychologist (Psychiatrist? Apologies, am unsure which is which) and obtaining my diagnosis.
I was put on Propanolol as I also get palpitations which may be related to either the anxiety, or the fact I also have a 'flappy' mitral valve, and also Citalopram.
The trouble is, I've never stayed on my meds for more than a few months at a time, because eventually once I run out of my tablets, part of me thinks "I can cope without" and also booking an appointment with the GP fills me with dread. Eventually, after two months, three months, a year (the length of time varies), I force myself to make the appointment, go and get told off by the GP for not coming back sooner, get a month's worth of meds and am told to come back for a review after 6 weeks - then the whole cycle starts over again as I can't go back.
I've had one very short course of CBT and that's it with regards to mental health services.
I'm extremely socially anxious, don't work (I've run out of the last few jobs I had due to some minor thing happening and me being unable to cope), sit in the house all day feeling awful about myself and jump away from the window if my next door neighbour appears in her front garden. If I need to go outside to put the bins out, for example, I simply can't if anyone is outside (if I open the door and step outside, then see someone, I instinctively run back inside - it's like a flight or fight type feeling - and look through the window until they're gone and I can quickly go and put the bins out).
That's just a few of my issues, obviously there are loads more like I can't cook due to the stress of it, can't use public transport, scream at my children (accidentally!) if they go too close to a bin outside, anywhere I go basically that is out of the house, my partner has to go with me or I can't do it, and even then it's only for very short bursts and I'm always at risk of having a meltdown or panic attack and having to leave wherever we are. I feel pathetic.
Anyway, I have no proof of any of the above, apart from my say-so. I had a telephone pip assessment about 2 weeks ago and had what I can only describe as a panic attack for the first 2 minutes, it was completely unexpected and I couldn't catch my breath, but I forced myself to calm down and then continued the rest of the call.
I got my decision letter, which didn't mention the panic attack, said I was calm and collected, cheerful and demonstrated good cognitive and memory skills by being able to remember dates and going into a good level of detail about my experiences.
Zero on everything.
I'm broken. How can I challenge this? Should I even bother??
I have no evidence of anything; even requesting my medical history apparently requires me to go into the GP surgery with photo ID, which I just can't do! I just about managed the phonecall to ask about my medical history, as it was!
Sorry this is getting so long, I guess I'm asking where on earth I start with challenging this - I can't even bring myself to phone for the copy of the report!
Thanks in advance for any advice.