How would you deal with this type of situation?

66Mustang

A family member who enjoys announcing the achievements / attributes of other relatives. X has just finished university and is starting a great job; Y has just bought an Aston Martin; look at this picture of Z o the beach don’t they look beautiful - when a massive achievement for you is being able to cook a meal, leave the house alone or go for a short walk.

It makes me feel inadequate when the biggest achievement I can raise them is that I went through a manned checkout at Tesco instead of using the self service. I know it is not healthy to compare myself to others, and usually I don’t do so, but this sort of situation almost forces you to do so.

Not speaking to the family member is not an option, as 1) they are close family and 2) they are otherwise a nice person to be around.

janer1967

Just because they are close family doesn't mean you can't discuss this with them or couod somebody else discuss it with them on your behalf 

If they are close then I'm sure they would want to know how it makes you feel 

I have something similar all my mum talks about is my brother and his kids and what they achieve 

But when I talk to my brother he says mum only talks about me so you might find they do announce your achievements 

I just take it on the chin I can't sed my mum much my brother lives close and does a lot more for her . Its my disability that stops me so I just have to accept it 

66Mustang

@janer1967

Hmm that is a good point that maybe they talk to others about our achievements.

It doesn't make me feel bad when they go on, as I know I work just as hard to fulfil my small achievements, but it just makes me wonder if they think I should be doing better. I hope that makes sense.

Thanks for the reply

durhamjaide2001

Oh I find that difficult too as my sisters going off to uni and is going on holiday this year but unfortunately for me to go on holiday to Disney Land Paris costs  nearly all my PIP that I have saved as I can't work yet and still in education. 

66Mustang

Yes @durhamjaide2001 I know what you mean, I do support my relatives and I want them to do well and have a nice life. It's a bit of a balancing act in my mind I guess.

66Mustang

Thanks @Teddybear12 that is very kind of you to say. I hope you are taking care as well and taking it steady while recovering after all you have been through recently.

Sandy_123

@66Mustang it's easy to feel that way when you see other people achieving things. But don't forget the things you have achieved also, cooking, driving on the motorway, these are also big things in your achievements. People achieve things in different ways, the latest car and the fancy beach holiday are all and good but the things you achieve are life changing achievements.  Which will go a long way

66Mustang

Thanks @Sandy_123 that is a good point.

Hope you are doing OK today.