I received a message from another man on Facebook, but he gave an excuse about being busy?

Splatmate24

You should treat them the same way you treat them. There is a different man that messaged me and didn't get to know me. However, when i did he always replied i'm sorry i'm been very busy and i did just leave it there. He think did let me on read and maybe he also thought ghost then they come reply today after i reply i'm be very busy. Now he responds now . I was already messing with a guy on Facebook dating. I am even more annoyed that now I get to meet men in previous that didn't seem to want to get know or try since they were seem to be busy . The one men on Facebook dating have some green flag and has responded after each time and got to know first thing . The other men didn't do that . Now ignore one men on Facebook . A few days ago, I matched with him on Facebook dating. I'm on messenger now, but I haven't done anything. not the same men that I've been texting on Facebook dating                          

Cher_Alumni

Hi @Splatmate24

The world of dating is confusing huh! I think your instinct is not often wrong. There might be genuine reasons why the man was busy but if you feel that something is off, then you're right not to pursue it. 

Do you let people know when you are meeting dates? I'm going into mum mode - but make sure you do, and keep as safe as possible 

L_Volunteer

I quite like the phrase "treat people how you would like to be treated" @Splatmate24. This sometimes means you rise above and treat people better than they treat you.

You have mentioned he replied that he has been very busy. How did it make you feel when he messaged you this and what were your thoughts around this?

I can hear this meant you left it there. How is it going with messaging a guy on Facebook dating? I notice this is a different guy.

The green flags sound really positive and much more than you are used to. I am wondering how you are finding this at the moment.

Please don't hesitate to let us know if there's anything we can do to support you with this, even if that's just listening 

Splatmate24

@Cher_Scope I always let trusted adult where i'm going and my mum take the me to places to sometimes to meetup with some previous guy before and was in light and public places like Marks and Spencer was the last one that i met up but is was a different men in Manchester .  is also met people at McDonald's  and fast food places that i go to sometimes and coffee shops as well . 

Splatmate24

@L_Volunteer. where both different guys but i think did both match on Facebook dating first . is was going ok at the time but after i one men that said give him one my Facebook messager and then is started i'm sorry i be very busy that i has happen a couple try when i did put effort and make effort but then i give up and left there . i move on from to find a  another men that i'm now be texting and has be reply and put in more effort to get know more and got know him also seem to knows Warrington  and live in wirral  and both us near Liverpool also .  i also like Liverpool more not as far away from shopping malls and center city .i also saw a Liverpool buses in Warrington .

L_Volunteer

It sounds like you are doing things to help keep you safe @Splatmate24. Well done, this is the most important. 

It is always disappointing when you put in more effort than someone else but at least you are able to acknowledge that. That's a huge step in the right direction. 

How have things been for you more recently? Apologies about my delayed response but I am here now and listening to you 

Splatmate24

@L_Volunteer I didn't meetup with one men that i did kept making up a excuse that he was be i'm busy but i think he had someone else and that why he was busy  i did give up and did stop texting after . i also has found someone else that i met online dating app called badoo and did meetup with him instead . then he men that did make up excuse did text me but now i not interested in him since he did turn me off and was interested more with one men that i did meetup in Liverpool on Friday 7 

L_Volunteer

It is really positive, and important, to hear you are still taking care of yourself @Splatmate24 and putting in those boundaries where they are needed. How did the meet-up go? 

Splatmate24

@L_Volunteer the meetup went well but after we did meetup just stop texting me and just left me on read . i been moving on again . that seem to happen a common theme .

L_Volunteer

What is the common theme you have identified @Splatmate24 and how are you feeling about everything at the moment? 

dylan89

@Splatmate24 if a person doesn’t turn up to me shows they are hiding something especially if they ignore you as this has happened to me which just annoys me 

Splatmate24

@L_Volunteer term ghosting seem to be common theme with me when i did used to dating apps that did stopped text me and other men that did made a excuse that that he was too I'm too busy and give up with that one . metup with one men that turn out to be player and got into a relationship with women that i Saw on facebook and did blocked him after . and think he did ghost me after metup and did move on my next men that i already setup  a first date and meetup for June 8 .  when i was getting know the new men that i has some green flags , prefer going slow and was honest about seeing a another girl but that girl broke is off for him for being too slow . i don't men that go to fast or try to push me to go fast . i learn a  Leeson since is always had end up with a break up from my previous relationship .

Splatmate24

@dylan89 the he did turn up for the first date but went good but was a bit later . when on train to one city Centre Liverpool and was lime street station that got off and back o . did then date did ended a bit shorter . didn't text me after i got home and try text but hasn't gotten no reply after two weeks when I did put effort in but i went back to online dating apps and found a new  guy that I saw on freedating.co.uk that new guy and did I did sent him the first message and been getting know each that i contracted him on whatapps after reply to the on dating sites . is was two different guy . the first guy was a player and was texting  multiple  girls and knew something was wrong  with that first guys and did move on to the next guy and then he text me back again after i stopped texting the first guy . i did blocked him and found my two more facebook account . i delete one them and create a new one and still saw that he was in a relationship  with girl . that happen when i was on holiday when i did saw in a relationship that he got tagged in ,

surfygoose

Splatmate remember what the admins said before about not posting too much about your location on here, just for your own safety. You’ve mentioned a fair few indicators of your location again. I know it’s easily done but just like with dating where some people can not be as nice as they claim to be, people could also access this forum so it’s good to be mindful of keeping your privacy.

Are you still going on your date in June that your mum is taking you to?

I know you said you aren’t keen on disabled dating sites but have you tried going to friendship clubs for people with learning disabilities and autism? Even if not finding someone suitable for a date it can be fun to socialise and make friends. I found those activities were safe for me and had support around to help people with our social skills if needed, so if a guy or girl did make someone uncomfortable even accidentally there was support to help people learn the better way to do things.

I met my girlfriend on holiday at a place that does disabled activity holidays. I’m not implying that you should date someone only who has a disability, I’m just saying that it can be an avenue worth keeping open to as well. For me it was nice that we have the understanding of each other, me and my girlfriend both need to have a carer or our mum with us at all times so it was nice that we both get that and feel no need to have to explain. Also we happen to be on the same wavelength for chatting and we both have issues with waiting and we are both say what we mean and both get excited about things but then get anxious at the last moment. Our disabilities and support needs are different in many ways, she has cerebral palsy and I have autism but we have a lot of understanding of each other. 

dylan89

@Splatmate24 that’s one thing I don’t do is ignore the person especially if i like them if I don’t like them but rather be friends it’s better to let the person know than ignore them because that just shows ignorance and I’m currently looking for a girlfriend 

Splatmate24

@surfygoosey , yes I still know about the admins  about posting location and read the community guide  rules to . and location but that not wasn't  near me . is was a city name and trains station name , I always got that lots with other social media and getting reporting and did also get Ip blocked . I got annoyed people mention  or repeat thing about what i already know about .yep has tries tons of social group and didn't like a single one and men there were too loud or just very rude or was very immature . some of them were not interested in anything do with relationship but was more interest in being friends . I have be on hiki and got rejected and friendzone more times on there . did try autism dating sites but all I got from men too far away , the other two disabled dating i all i got was guys that are over the age 60+ and older . some men that couldn't take no or I'm not interested in 

dylan89

@Splatmate24 I’m looking for a serious long term relationship as I hate being single and on my own I prefer to be with someone that I’m attracted to and not just after a one night thing