Should I tell the dr or will I be in trouble

kbel88

Hello, my history is quite long so I will try and just say the most recent things. For the last 5 years I was my mums carer. Me and my daughter lived with her and my anxiety and depression was ok with tablets. In January my mum died unexpectedly from sepsis and I am really not coping. My dr has been lovely. I had an assessment from someone that works with mind and the surgery but I did lie about a few things as I’m so scared they will take my daughter off me. I scored 11 out of 40 which I thought was good but he said that the lower the score the worse so I don’t know what test he did on me. Anyway the things I lied about was am I worried about drugs or alcohol use and I said no but I have been taking gabapentin and morphine which was my mums, just because I can’t sleep and it helps me. I’m nearly running out now and I don’t know what to do, I’m scared to tell my dr but I’m going to need something to help sleep. I don’t know if I should just buy it online and keep quiet. Also I told him I don’t self harm which I thought was true because I don’t cut myself but I do have this weird habit of having to scratch myself in the same place 200 times. I don’t do it to hurt myself but just do it if I have been hair pulling (what they know about) to try and stop pulling my hair out. I’m sorry this is so long I don’t know what to do 

Sandy_123

Hi @kbel88 sorry to read about your mom dying. 
Probably best to be honest with the Dr. He may give you something for when the meds run out.

Adrian_Scope

Hello @kbel88 and welcome to the community.
Firstly, I just want to say how sorry I am to read about your mother. It sounds like you've been carrying a lot on your shoulders, being a carer for your mum for so long and now having to navigate life without her. It's okay to feel overwhelmed, and it is completely understandable that you might be struggling.

It's good that you've reached out to your doctor and have been honest at least about some of what you're going through. It's a positive step towards getting you the help you need. However, it's really important to be honest with your doctor and any mental health professional you speak to, even if it feels scary. It's important that they have a complete picture of what's going on so that they are able to help you properly.

It sounds like you might be struggling with sleep and I can understand why you might want something to help you, but buying medication online without a prescription can be dangerous and it's much better to speak to your doctor about your concerns and look at options together that might help you sleep.

I'm going to send you an email in a little while with some other suggestions of help that we might be able to offer, so please look out for that, but please remember you are not alone and it's okay to reach out for help and support.

kbel88

thankyou for your advice. I phoned the dr I was upset because it wasn’t my normal dr but this one has put me on something just for a few weeks while I come off the gabapentin and morphine. I had to send a photo of where I’ve scratched myself and it’s very infected so got some antibiotics and he said it is self harm but I disagree because I’m not doing it to hurt myself just to distract me. I am worried that the mental health man will be annoyed that I didn’t tell him he’s meant to ring me in 2 weeks but the dr said he may ring before. 

Sandy_123

Well done for talking to the Dr, I appreciate it wasn't easy for you. I bet you feel glad you did.