Disability and mental health i need advice

inmybubble

Hello everyone, I’m new here (though not to internet forums, just this particular one) so still finding my way round a bit so apologies if this is in the wrong place or anything. 

I’m a 20 year old female who has been severely sight impaired since birth. You would think I’d be used to it by now but truthfully, I’m not. A huge part of that is struggling with anxiety and depression, and more recently struggles with suicidal feelings, as a result of having such a lack of independence. I feel like I don’t have as much control as others my age - i can’t just go somewhere new and find my way round, for example.

The other night it all came to a head and I ended up at A&E in a crisis, also while drunk because alcohol seems to interact with my medication. I’ve been shamed endlessly for still drinking on my meds but I’ve always done it and it’s only started happening very recently, I haven’t changed meds or anything. Basically I was refused to be allowed to leave the hospital to go for a smoke (which would have helped me to calm down) and was also refused to to be allowed to see my family. So in my state of crisis I kicked off, shouted at everyone and tried to leave, which resulted in the police being called and me being arrested and held overnight in a police cell. 

Now that’s bad enough, I know my behaviour was wrong but no one was supporting me and everyone was actually being quite nasty, especially the police. They manhandled me so much I’ve been left with bruises, shouted at me, called me an entitled brat for asking to see my family. And worst of all, I had been asking if my mum was ok and if she’d been in touch, and their response was “how would I know”? In the most horrible, sarcastic sounding voice I’ve ever heard. But I later found out she had called the police station twice and wanted me to be told this, which never happened. 

I now feel like my life is over. I don’t have a job and what are the chances of me getting one now, both with my disability and now the fact I was arrested, for a mental health crisis. The behaviour of all the staff was truly awful. And this is just a very brief description of what happened because if I put it all in a timeline this post would be as long as my arm (maybe it already is?) 

I suppose I just wanted to get this off my chest, I don’t know whether (or where for that matter) to get legal advice (I live in Scotland). I feel I was treated so badly and so do my family, now if they’d put me under section i could maybe have understood that but they discharged me from the mental health team because apparently there was nothing they could do. The police then used that as a reason to tell me there was nothing wrong with me and I was just an entitled brat (their words not mine). The 2 male police officers who arrested me were so awful I am genuinely considering complaining,but my family are encouraging me not to in case it comes back to bite me. I just don’t know what to do, i feel their behaviour was unreasonable but will they just claim rank and power? Probably. They didn’t care about me as a person and why i was acting the way Iwas, it (and my previous meltdowns) are so out of character and the police and A&E staff really didn’t understand that. 

Thank you for reading.I knowit’slong but my night in a police cell was even longer, trust me. 

Alex_Alumni

Hello and welcome @inmybubble and thanks for being so open and honest in your post. It can take a lot to reach out like this, especially when you're new to a forum- but I can see you're settling in well.

Living with an impairment from a young age can be a real challenge at times, I say this as someone who has had cerebral palsy since birth, but I know that managing multiple conditions can make things even harder, especially if you don't feel supported to be independent. 

I'm so sorry to read about your experience in A&E and how you were treated. I can imagine it's all feeling a bit raw still, but I hope talking about it can help. Are you in touch with any crisis lines, or mental health support teams currently? 

I hope we can help support you, and I'll be emailing you tomorrow with information on some additional support.

In the meantime, you can always reach out to Samaritans for free by phone or email on 116 123 or jo@samaritans.org. If you prefer, you can text 'SHOUT' to 85258 for help over text too. 

Let us know if we can help with anything else, and I'll be in touch with you soon  

inmybubble

Thank you so much. I spoke to the GP yesterday afternoon (have done this after every time this has happened) but only now are they referring me to the community mental health team. Had that been done months ago this might never have happened. I feel so so let down by services it’s hard to reach out to anyone professional now, I’ve always been a bit introverted and preferred to get support online. But I know I real help and no one is there for me professionally.

Alex_Alumni

That's okay I'm glad you're in touch with your GP regularly @inmybubble and hopefully working with the CMHT will lead to better support for you going forward. I've sent you an email to check in today, so let us know if that hasn't made it through. 

It's useful to know you prefer online support, and I can understand why you might feel reluctant to reach out, given your past experiences. Please do use the community as a space for help and support, I find our members can really help each other in sharing their own stories and the barriers they face.

We're here to support you, so let us know how things are going when you can. I hope you enjoy spending time here on the forum in the meantime. 

Stellar

so sorry this happened to you. you were in crisis. You're not entirely to blame for your own behaviour. you should have been treated with compassion by the staff there. They neglected you, hence they're responsible for this.

This is before mentioning the police brutality you suffered.

[Removed by moderator]

i would strongly suggest looking to go private for therapy as well as looking for peer support from user-led orgs and groups (for both blind people and mental health) 

the fact I was arrested, for a mental health crisis.

If they've not charged you with a crime or forced you to take a caution, you don't have to declare anything to employers. also given your level of blindness maybe self-employment might be best for you?

Adrian_Scope

How are you feeling today @inmybubble? 

Stellar said:

If they've not charged you with a crime or forced you to take a caution, you don't have to declare anything to employers. also given your level of blindness maybe self-employment might be best for you?

Just to add to this, if you are hoping to find employment, Scope have a few different free employment services that might be of interest to you @inmybubble. 
You can read more about them on our website: Employment support services

@Stellar just to let you know, I've sent you a quick email.

inmybubble

Hello everyone, I don't know if I'm allowed to update this, but I found this forum again and I stumbled on this. I don't even recall writing it.

I just wanted to say that your support meant a lot to me at that time in my life. I am still kicking about, and thankfully this situation is now resolved… although it did take 14 months of useless social work visits.

I am also working on my independence, I have been working with someone for nearly a year now who is helping me to do the simple things (shop, chemist etc) which seems small to some but it's making a big difference.

Rosie_Scope

Hi @inmybubble, lovely to have you back and thanks for sending an update. Your original post was from before my time but it's good to hear that you're still around and things are looking up.

It's funny how much of an impact the little things can have, it sounds like you're doing some really positive things. I hope everything continues to improve for you 😊