Hard to know where to start TBH and I’m the type of person who “masks” things and has to carry on regardless as they say 🫤
I am a single mum to my daughter who has a serious mental health condition . Depressive phycosis / anxiety and unstable emotional personality .
”Trigger warning ⚠️ “
she has had several suicide attempts/ self harms / hears voices and hallucinations.
I gave up work three years ago to care for her as she can’t be left on her own .
At first I carried on it was “ our way of life “ and I shut it all out and did the mum thing and tried to cope best I could that was until last year when she was sectioned and I just couldn’t deal with it anymore .
My mental health went down hill fast and my physical health and I just found myself in a very dark place .
I struggle with my own anxiety / depression / PTSD / IBS through anxiety so it’s so hard to try and be strong and motivate my daughter and distract her when she’s struggling when I myself struggle daily .
she has support for 12 hours a week which you would think would give me some respite 🫤 but she doesn’t like me out of her sight . I can’t go out on my own due to my anxiety and IBS being bad ( I am on antidepressants and other meds ) so really if I do get chance I go upstairs to my bedroom for half an hour but even then she’s texting me asking if I’m ok if I’m coming back down 😞
I’m so tired and emotional all the time yet I have to wear a “mask” as in hide how I’m feeling when I’m around my daughter because it triggers her unfortunately. She’s medicated and has support once a week from her mental health worker .
I guess I just wanted to say this out loud as it were 😶as I don’t have family or friends just me and my daughter .
Apologies for long post and rambling having a bad day today and waiting on PIP after I had my tribunal beginning of this month and won so that’s stressing me out when it will be sorted 😐
