Thought I’d take the plunge !

mistakes65

Hard to know where to start TBH and I’m the type of person who “masks” things and has to carry on regardless as they say 🫤
I am a single mum to my daughter who has a serious mental health condition . Depressive phycosis / anxiety and unstable emotional personality .
”Trigger warning ⚠️ “ 
she has had several suicide attempts/ self harms / hears voices and hallucinations. 

I gave up work three years ago to care for her as she can’t be left on her own .
At first I carried on it was “ our way of life “ and I shut it all out and did the mum thing and tried to cope best I could that was until last year when she was sectioned and I just couldn’t deal with it anymore .
My mental health went down hill fast and my physical health and I just found myself in a very dark place . 

I struggle with my own anxiety / depression / PTSD / IBS through anxiety so it’s so hard to try and be strong and motivate my daughter and distract her when she’s struggling when I myself struggle daily .
she has support for 12 hours a week which you would think would give me some respite 🫤 but she doesn’t like me out of her sight . I can’t go out on my own due to my anxiety and IBS being bad ( I am on antidepressants and other meds ) so really if I do get chance I go upstairs to my bedroom for half an hour but even then she’s texting me asking if I’m ok if I’m coming back down 😞

I’m so tired and emotional all the time yet I have to wear a “mask” as in hide how I’m feeling when I’m around my daughter because it triggers her unfortunately. She’s medicated and has support once a week from her mental health worker .

I guess I just wanted to say this out loud as it were 😶as I don’t have family or friends just me and my daughter .

Apologies for long post and rambling having a bad day today and waiting on PIP after I had my tribunal beginning of this month and won so that’s stressing me out when it will be sorted 😐

mistakes65

Unfortunately due to my IBS I can’t go out far as I panic and need the loo . 

And thank you for replying 

Hannah_Alumni

@mistakes65 I'm sorry you have ben struggling and feeling so tired. I would encourage you to keep communicating with your GP to see if you could get anymore support. Have you thought about joining in with any virtual events? You could be part of a Q&A session with an author, or maybe join in with a quiz? Eventbrite and Meetup advertise some great online events now and then. Could be something you are able to do, whilst in the same room as your daughter?

mistakes65

Thank you for your kind words I will look into it x