I cry every night because I’m stuck in an insensitive and homophobic household

hbean5747

I’m 26. I live in London. Honestly, that should tell you everything. But there’s more.

I’m living with my parent and sibling. Simply put, it’s hell. I’ve lived out from home but I had to move back for complicated reasons and I wish I never had. Now I feel stuck.

My parent doesn’t reason well. Communicating with them is a headache. My sibling is noisy and rowdy (think music from speakers with the volume the highest they will go) and I am suspected autistic and it’s like I’m having constant meltdowns. I am miserable. 

Benefits aren’t really an issue. I have PIP and LCWRA. But it makes you such a pariah when looking for a room. Even with a guarantor, even with a RIDICULOUSLY HIGH BUDGET no one wants to live with someone who works from home (I work on personal projects when able). And we all know the “landlord doesn’t accept benefits” line too well. It’s so unjust and so bleak and so dark and I don’t see any solution. There is a housing crisis. Within that, I am in my own personal crisis.

I’m kind of… done. Nobody can help me. Nobody has options for me. Council housing list won’t accept me. And why would anybody choose the unemployed disabled reject for their spare room? Who cares that I’m kind and compassionate, creative, funny, perceptive, self aware, who cares that I’m a good person? I’m on the Habinteg register but who knows how long that will take.

I am done. I won’t see next season if I have to stay in this tiny flat with the screaming and the homophobia and transphobia and insensitivity and poor communication. Nah at this rate I’ll be gone before then. I’d rather die.

Don’t even know why I’m posting this. I cry every single night. I’m crying as I write this. Desperate I guess. Just stuck in hell.

MW123

Hello hbean5747

 Living in an environment where there is constant screaming and experiencing homophobia, transphobia, insensitivity, and poor communication can be incredibly distressing.

 Have you considered checking out rooms to rent in London on Gumtree or Facebook? It could provide you with the temporary space and tranquillity you need until you find a more permanent solution. When searching for a room to rent, it's important to openly communicate your specific requirements, like needing a quiet work-from-home space, with potential landlords or roommates. Many people are understanding and may not mind someone working from home if it doesn't disrupt their own routines. Make sure to clarify your specific requirements and ensure that the arrangement suits both parties. 

If I had a room available for rent and someone approached me, I would extend the offer to them based on their personal qualities, disregarding their circumstances. Individuals with disabilities possess distinct perspectives and abilities that can contribute greatly to a household or community. 

You mentioned that you suspect you may have autism. We have members who are autistic, and I'm confident that someone will be able to provide you with suggestions and coping strategies while you seek solutions for your housing problem.  Take care.

Sandy_123

Hi @hbean5747 sorry to read about your situation can't be easy for you scope have some information on this link below 

https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/apply-accessible-housing-association-council-housing/
Have you tried  housing associations too 
Have you thought of moving out of London for availability on properties also 

Hannah_Alumni

Hello @hbean5747

I'm going to pop an email over to you, please keep an eye out. 

hbean5747

MW123 said:

Hello hbean5747

 Living in an environment where there is constant screaming and experiencing homophobia, transphobia, insensitivity, and poor communication can be incredibly distressing.

 Have you considered checking out rooms to rent in London on Gumtree or Facebook? It could provide you with the temporary space and tranquillity you need until you find a more permanent solution. When searching for a room to rent, it's important to openly communicate your specific requirements, like needing a quiet work-from-home space, with potential landlords or roommates. Many people are understanding and may not mind someone working from home if it doesn't disrupt their own routines. Make sure to clarify your specific requirements and ensure that the arrangement suits both parties. 

If I had a room available for rent and someone approached me, I would extend the offer to them based on their personal qualities, disregarding their circumstances. Individuals with disabilities possess distinct perspectives and abilities that can contribute greatly to a household or community. 

You mentioned that you suspect you may have autism. We have members who are autistic, and I'm confident that someone will be able to provide you with suggestions and coping strategies while you seek solutions for your housing problem.  Take care.

I’ve been coming through Facebook listings non stop. First thing I do when I wake up, last thing I do before I go to bed, do it while I’m on the toilet, while the microwaves on, whilst I’m watching a series. Lots of inaccessible places, or competition, or the same selectivity as before. Appreciate your suggestion. 

hbean5747

Sandy_123 said:

Hi @hbean5747 sorry to read about your situation can't be easy for you scope have some information on this link below 

https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/apply-accessible-housing-association-council-housing/
Have you tried  housing associations too 
Have you thought of moving out of London for availability on properties also 

Been combing through all the housing associations I can find, unfortunately most of them either only accept referrals from the council, for which you need to be on the housing register, and I’m not eligible. Or you need to live in that borough already.

as for moving out of London, I do keep considering it, it’s just that right now I’m where my friends are and it’s hard enough getting to have a social life with my health, and since I don’t work or study etc I haven’t really been able to make new friendships (I’ve been try for the past two years) so maintaining the in person friendships I have is kind of all I’ve got. Otherwise I’ll be isolated from my community. I struggle a lot with loneliness already. I appreciate the suggestion. 

Hannah_Alumni

@hbean5747 Just wondering, are any of your friends looking to move soon? Would it be possibility at some point to find somewhere together? 

hbean5747

Hannah_Scope said:

@hbean5747 Just wondering, are any of your friends looking to move soon? Would it be possibility at some point to find somewhere together? 

Currently no, but it is definitely something I can continue to keep an eye out for.