Dealing with guilt about disability and claiming

bethanylynn

Hi everyone, strange one I know but does anyone else struggle with feeling guilty about claiming things like lcwra and pip when fairly young but with a host of ''hidden'' physical and mental disabilities? I'm 29 and just a few things of mine are endometriosis, pcos, no gallbladder, barely any thyroid left, degenerative disc disease and osteoarthritis, obviously a lot of these are chronic pain disorders but are also I suppose classed as 'invisible/hidden' I also have anxiety, depression and possibly ADHD. Which again are hidden/invisible. Does anyone else struggle with feeling guilty and anxious about applying for things like lcwra and pip with 'hidden' disabilities? Sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading

Hannah_Alumni

Hello @bethanylynn

Welcome to the community!  

Please don't feel guilty. Benefits are there to help support people who cannot work. Just because your disability isn't something you can see, does not mean it doesn't effect your life. 

We have many members who have felt the same way. I hope the community can be a place of support for you  

bethanylynn

Hi hannah, thank you I understand I shouldn't feel guilty I think it's just one of those things of my own pride is my weakness, its all so very confusing and I've been accepted for lcwra but been advised to also apply for pip and that is a minefield in itself it appears they literally make up the rules as they go along and I just feel so anxious about it all and then that makes me feel guilty because I know how miserable it is and feel like well if someone worse off goes for it and I get it and they don't ill feel awful. Its just such a bonkers system.

Hannah_Alumni

If you need help with PIP. I would encourage you to reach out to Citizen's Advice. They also have a page on how to fill in PIP forms. 

Can I ask, do you have support around you? Someone to talk to? 

bethanylynn

Hannah, yes relatively I have my partner and some close friends around, me and my mum can sympathise with each other about the system as she currently gets pip due to cancer and can no longer work. It's incredible to me the way they have worked this new system, I understand making it harder so that people can't defraud the system but I do believe it to be wrong in the way of the amount of hoops they get people with genuine diagnosed disabilities to jump through, unfortunately I believe the system in place currently is what makes too many people say that's it. I'm very lucky to have a close knit group of friends to rely on and my partners a damn hard worker to make sure we have enough of what we need but if it wasn't for that I don't know what we'd do. Thank you both for your kind words.

2oldcodgers

stormy said:

The anxiety is another issue altogether though; I never really feel safe on benefits- always waiting for the rug to be pulled. 

I think most welfare claimants feel that, I certainly do and did.
The system seems to revolve around not believing what a claimant says. 
With all benefits there is a risk that they may be removed at any time. For example, I am well into my 70's now with a PIP award at the enhanced rates from 2019 to 2029. I can never relax as that award could be questioned at any time. 
Personally, I do believe that the welfare system is set up to keep all claimants on the edge and never allow them to relax with them having certainty over the money they get.

66Mustang

Interesting topic to bring up.

Being disabled and eligible for benefits is not the ideal position to be in. No sane person would be there out of choice.

It is true that a lot of working people pay taxes and receive very little in return but they are in the better position because they are able to work in the first place. They rolled the dice of life and got a double six, so they can share some of their luck with those of us who rolled the snake eyes.

I like to think of paying taxes and claiming benefits in the same way I would consider any other insurance policy. If you had health insurance, would you want to become ill just so you got your money's worth from the policy? If you had car insurance would you want to have a crash just so you benefitted from your insurance?

To answer the question, from a personal point of view, I also feel that one day I will be able to work and will not resent paying taxes, because I have been helped out in my earlier years. That is not to say if you never work you should be ashamed, just another point to consider.

Just one last thing I would like to counter is your point about depriving someone worse off than you. I don't think it is right to feel like you are taking money from someone who needs it more. There is not say, a million "places" available to claim and once a million people are claiming there is nothing left. The "pot" of money is as big or small as it needs to be.

bethanylynn

I understand that @66Mustang I think that's mainly my mental health issues if I'm completely honest and aswell it doesn't help the guilt being a mum to 3 small children and being disabled, I think if the government who put all these assessments into place had to go through it there would be better understanding into the turmoil it plays on us all, unfortunately for me I've never really been in the best health but then as the jc were asking me to start coming in more often as my littlest is about to start full time school, I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis of the spine and possible thyroid cancer (had my op, malignant thank god) and my depression that had been manageable for years flared up big time as the c word is scary enough as it is but I've lost 4 family members in the past 10 yrs to it and my mum is battling cancer at the moment herself, but the amount of hoops I had to jump through even though they had all my medical records was ridiculous. It appears if your young and keep your problems to yourself they immediately think your just trying to sit on your **** doing sod all, what I wouldn't give to be healthy and able to run after my kids as much as I used to, but they don't see that. And I think it's kind of mad that it's no longer on diagnosis at all just how it affects you. IMHO I believe the decisions should be made on both of those factors not just one or the other. 

bethanylynn

@2oldcodgers I feel your pain it is bonkers to me that people have to have assessments if they've been awarded and there's been no change or its gotten worse. Hoping you feel some more security soon

L_Volunteer

I completely hear you @bethanylynn - if these people had experienced it too, they probably would be more understanding and empathetic It sounds like you have been through so much - with increasing health worries and health worries of family members too. How are you currently coping with everything? (other than because you have to of course!). We are here for you if we can do anything to help 

bethanylynn

@L_Volunteer I'm OK thank you, me and my family are very old school brit haha, keep calm and carry on, but with that I've had to learn to understand when I'm not ok and seek help, but altogether life is going better thank you 😊

Laura9567

@bethanylynn I understand exactly where your coming from , I currently claim myself and have done for the past 4 years. Not by choice, I used to work in a care home. However I was in an abusive relationship for 10 years , which left a range of physcological disorders. I myself for most of my life have been suffering with pcos, ibs, acute gastirits which affects what I eat and emptying bowels. I experience extreme fatigue. As for mental health wise I suffer with severe anxiety, depression , PTSD. I have always felt guilty throughout there never was a time I didn't,  my family aswell are very old school. I used to think I wasn't deserving of anything i was given because I was not able to go out there myself and receive them things. So your not alone , and like another comment mentioned you are always on the edge of your seat incase they decide to take money away. 

2oldcodgers

bethanylynn said:

@2oldcodgers I feel your pain it is bonkers to me that people have to have assessments if they've been awarded and there's been no change or its gotten worse. Hoping you feel some more security soon

I do believe that you are forced into these repeat assessments because of the way people treated DLA and the DWP simply don't believe that many benefit claimants are honest enough.
DLA was open ended and generally there would be no review to an award until such time as the claimant asked for one or reported a change of circumstances. Many kept quiet and carried on  receiving the payments for years beyond when they have reported a COC.
It does seem that it is a case of us and them. Treat everybody as a benefit scrounger in the hope that they find the odd one that is

2oldcodgers

A while ago whilst claiming Pension Credit I had forgotten to tell the DWP that some of my private pensions had increased slightly. The Pension Service reviewed what I had received as against what I should have received. Over the 3 years the overpayment amounted to just over £500. Fair enough but on top of that they insisted I paid a penalty for it.
Then they told me that I MUST notify them of any change in money received even if it is only 1p.
I have 5 private pensions payable monthly. The tax that I pay on them goes up and down month on month.
They said that in that case they would expect 5x12 - 60 reports of the changes for the year.
They certainly do not take into account any form of disability, mental or physical that makes that exercise almost impossible and never mind the cost of the postage. Twice now I have had this type of investigation and am waiting for the next one as I am not I well enough to comply with their demands.