Even more jokes.

onebigvoice

these are some others.
  We all know about Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s Law? It’s thinly sliced cabbage.
When does a joke become a “dad joke”? When it becomes apparent.
I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills. Those were Goodyears.
What invention allows us to see through walls? Windows.
I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over people’s heads.
The bank keeps calling me to give me compliments. They say I have an “outstanding balance.”
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? A starfish.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
What did one plate say to another plate? Tonight, dinner’s on me.
Did you hear about the surgeon who enjoyed performing quick surgeries on insects? He did one on the fly.
What’s a vampire’s favorite ship? A blood vessel.
There’s only one thing I can’t deal with, and that’s a deck of cards glued together.

OBV.

66Mustang

Hehe

onebigvoice

more jokes to relieve the tension...

jokes in reverse.  this is the answer what's the question>

  Knock knock,  who's there .... the chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To meet his idiot friend.
Knock knock,   who's there................... the chicken,,,

Why do they call a building a building?  when its already built?

Why does natural spring water that has been filtered through nater and been in the ground for millions of years, get bottled at source with no addatives have a sell by date of a few months after bottling?

What do you get when you cross a kangeroo with a sheep?
A wolley jumper.....

A woman driving down the road was pulled over by a copper while knitting at the wheel?
  Winds the window down.....  Pull over.
  No its a scarf.
  
Dad did you get a hair cut?
 No I had them all cut.

 What did the policeman say to hids belly button?
  Your under a vest....

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear..

Wales on line...
 Today a cheese factory blew up.
There was Da Brie everywhere.........

Why do vampires always look sick?
Because they are always coffin....

Today my son asked me, "can I have a book mark?"
I cried, my son is 12 years old and he still doesen't know my name is Dave.....

  Last one...
 If Silver surfer and Iron Man teamed up what would be their name?
Alloys.

definately last one...
  Trex cant clap their hands....
 Because its extinct.
  Enjoy.
OBV.

66Mustang

 

Sandy_123

Love the jokes @onebigvoice

Chloe_Alumni

I've missed you guys!   

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.

onebigvoice

Chloe_Scope said:

I've missed you guys!   

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.

DOH.  Why didn't I think of that.......

  

C_J

 Some great jokes 🤣 

onebigvoice

In my doctors surgery we have "practice nurses" that help take some of the stress off the Telephone to make an appointment to see the Doctor and do some of the work for them.
  I have been with this surgery for around 14 years now and was just wondering under the duty of care that we are about to go through with the NHS, why the Nurse keeps practicing on me?  I would have thought by now she would know what she was doing by now?  DOH........

onebigvoice

I have been suffering badly recently with walking and mobility problems.  I used to be a keen gardner as well and always entered the local home produce at the fair.  Well I could not see me entering this year as I like to proepare the soil before to take my prize winning tomatoes.
  One late night because I knew that the next door who also entered would be watching I went out to give it a go.  The ground was solid, and I noticed the curtains twitching so I went into the house and pulled out an old carpet with stuff inside.  Within an Hour the police came round and said what or who have you burried in the garden then, admit it?   Don't know what you mean Officer.  With that 5 other police officers came and started digging my garden up.  Where was I supposed to have done this then?  Down the bottom some where.
  Well they dug all night and found nothing, so they left.  I went in to make a cup of tea, and then went out the back to see, what they had done, while sipping my tea the curtains were going again, so I shouted up thanks again for the reporting of me to the police, you need to mind your own buisness.  The curtains abruptly shut.  And under my breath I said I was wondering how I was going to turn over the ground, cheers mate.