My Mum has died. She was my Carer and prompted me to wash, eat, take meds.

chiarieds

Sorry

WhatThe

I'm sorry this is so painful and they need to know you're bereaved, not coping whatsoever and unable to complete the form

They have the relevant medical evidence. Remind them of your PTSD and fill in the basics if that's all you can do without feeling overwhelmed which you obviously are 

 

WhatThe

Your needs are not being met. Whatever the question, it is all the time, every day. You have no help. Your needs are not being met.

Keep your answers simple - for yourself and to get the form returned and processed for your payment to continue, we hope 

Explain that you've never had to do this on your own, mention anything relevant from the report you found 

NoOne

nasturtium said:

Hello NoOne

NoOne said:
how can I say I need prompting from another person when I do my best to avoid interactions with people.

It depends on what you mean by "I do my best to avoid interactions with people" is it people you are unfamiliar with or is it every person friends and parents/brothers/sisters/close relatives also?

They could prompt you by text or some other remote device?

Also it is not the prompting you get that is being assessed but it it the prompting you need that is being asessed.

Just a few thoughts.

Nasturtium

It's generally everybody to some degree except for one of my sisters. I do have one friend but am tending not to contact them much. I've always been a loner and I guess it's my natural state and my most stable state. People can upset me and the upset will last a long time.

NoOne

WhatThe said:

I'm sorry this is so painful and they need to know you're bereaved, not coping whatsoever and unable to complete the form

They have the relevant medical evidence. Remind them of your PTSD and fill in the basics if that's all you can do without feeling overwhelmed which you obviously are 

 

Can I remind them of something I've not been diagnosed (remind them of PTSD)? I've not visited the GP and still don't want to because something will just go wrong, probably badly. I could just say on the Form?

I'm also thinking , if this makes sense, if I blame a lot of this on being bereaved, might they say OK we will do XYZ and reassess you again sooner? You are he first person to make me question how I'm coping. I thought I was doing OK.

NoOne

WhatThe said:

Your needs are not being met. Whatever the question, it is all the time, every day. You have no help. Your needs are not being met.

Keep your answers simple - for yourself and to get the form returned and processed for your payment to continue, we hope 

Explain that you've never had to do this on your own, mention anything relevant from the report you found 

I think I'll have to go through everything with that in mind. Maybe I'm not coping as good as I thought. I'm not doing too badly with the form. Today I completed my first pass of the Form of the things I wanted to say. As yet I've not put it in the specific questions / answers format. I'm pacing myself. Doing it when I feel like I can do it well. Giving myself breaks. I think I can do it in time.

I'm actually frightened of saying too much about my state in case they go to the landlord and say I'm not keeping the place in a fit state. That would be the worst. For the first time in many many years I do look forward with something I'd like to do because of where I live. It's the only thing I've got and if I lost it that would be me done for.

poppy123456

NoOne said:

WhatThe said:

I'm sorry this is so painful and they need to know you're bereaved, not coping whatsoever and unable to complete the form

They have the relevant medical evidence. Remind them of your PTSD and fill in the basics if that's all you can do without feeling overwhelmed which you obviously are 

 

I'm also thinking , if this makes sense, if I blame a lot of this on being bereaved, might they say OK we will do XYZ and reassess you again sooner?

I'm sure the loss of your mum hasn't made things any easier but you shouldn't blame everything on that because i'm sure your health conditions were the same when she was here.

NoOne said:

I'm actually frightened of saying too much about my state in case they go to the landlord and say I'm not keeping the place in a fit state. That would be the worst. For the first time in many many years I do look forward with something I'd like to do because of where I live. It's the only thing I've got and if I lost it that would be me done for.

They will not approach your landlord at all because that's none of their business. You should make sure you tell them exactly how your health conditions affect you and include a couple of real world incidents too.

NoOne

poppy123456 said:

NoOne said:

WhatThe said:

I'm sorry this is so painful and they need to know you're bereaved, not coping whatsoever and unable to complete the form

They have the relevant medical evidence. Remind them of your PTSD and fill in the basics if that's all you can do without feeling overwhelmed which you obviously are 

 

I'm also thinking , if this makes sense, if I blame a lot of this on being bereaved, might they say OK we will do XYZ and reassess you again sooner?

I'm sure the loss of your mum hasn't made things any easier but you shouldn't blame everything on that because i'm sure your health conditions were the same when she was here.

NoOne said:

I'm actually frightened of saying too much about my state in case they go to the landlord and say I'm not keeping the place in a fit state. That would be the worst. For the first time in many many years I do look forward with something I'd like to do because of where I live. It's the only thing I've got and if I lost it that would be me done for.

They will not approach your landlord at all because that's none of their business. You should make sure you tell them exactly how your health conditions affect you and include a couple of real world incidents too.

But what if they think it's a health hazard?

poppy123456

You are overthinking this. They simply wouldn't contact your LL. They are assessing your entitlement to PIP and not the state of your home.

justmeandthee

This post really hurts my heart. I am so sorry for your loss and wish I had the know how to assist you. 
Please reach out to citizens advice for help with your application and you should look into bereavement counseling. The pain you feel is raw and it is real and you need support. 
I wish you all the best and hope you can get the support you need to deal with your grief and with the task of form filling. Also like Poppy said they will not contact your landlord. 
I don't know enough about this part but maybe the council can do an assessment and arrange support for you within your home setting? 
Please take good care and there is help out there but sometimes you need to ask for it ❤️

NoOne

justmeandthee said:

This post really hurts my heart. I am so sorry for your loss and wish I had the know how to assist you. 
Please reach out to citizens advice for help with your application and you should look into bereavement counseling. The pain you feel is raw and it is real and you need support. 
I wish you all the best and hope you can get the support you need to deal with your grief and with the task of form filling. Also like Poppy said they will not contact your landlord. 
I don't know enough about this part but maybe the council can do an assessment and arrange support for you within your home setting? 
Please take good care and there is help out there but sometimes you need to ask for it ❤️

Oh Gosh No! I don't want the Council involved. Who knows what would happen when people want 'whats best for you' but you want to stay as is. Apart from losing Mum, my life has as much potential going forward as it's ever had in a long long time. I live in a house with my garden. I can't quite get over how lucky I am. Next year all being well, I hope to really give my photography a go. A serious go. All I can see if other people get involved is upset. I've always been solitary and a loner so that's no big deal for me. There are things I don't want to say.

I'm making good progress with my Form at least.

justmeandthee

Bless you. You have very much been in my thoughts and I wish you the best life you can have. 
I read your post and as I am my son's carer he could be writing the same thing one day and it really upset me. 
I agree you are blessed to have a garden as your sanctuary and that made me smile. It's so satisfying watching flowers bloom and the ever changing seasons. 
I'm not sure how I can help but if you ever need to reach out please do. Often a problem shared is a problem halved and just getting it out there can be a heavy weight from your shoulders. 
Again I am deeply sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you. Stay strong and you can do this ❤️

NoOne

justmeandthee said:

Bless you. You have very much been in my thoughts and I wish you the best life you can have. 
I read your post and as I am my son's carer he could be writing the same thing one day and it really upset me. 
I agree you are blessed to have a garden as your sanctuary and that made me smile. It's so satisfying watching flowers bloom and the ever changing seasons. 
I'm not sure how I can help but if you ever need to reach out please do. Often a problem shared is a problem halved and just getting it out there can be a heavy weight from your shoulders. 
Again I am deeply sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you. Stay strong and you can do this ❤️

Thank you very much.