Contacting GP

Bettahm

Albus_Scope said:

Wibbles said:

So how do you obtain food etc? I find it hard to believe that anyone can survive without any human contact at all

Deliveroo etc often leave food on the doorstep, it's easily doable. 

 But there's a big difference between surviving and thriving.

@alb@Albus_Scope

Asda will leave food out. They leave mine outside the gate, I just leave some old carriers out for them but often they leave it in the crates.
When you set up home delivery there is a section for delivery instructions so I just told them not to come in to the door, leave outside gate.
Never a problem with that in I guess 3 years now..

Jimm_Alumni

I know Ocado can also just leave the bags at the door as well.

As a treat me and my partner also bought from this very fancy online shop. To cut down on emissions they only deliver to different parts of the country a certain day of the week and the box gets dropped off (as well as any boxes left out from a previous delivery taken) very early in the morning. They started delivering around 4-5am to try and make sure all deliveries are done before 8-9am so people have a chance to put it away in the morning before work. I'll try and remember the name of it, we've not used it in months now. It was quite expensive to be fair.

OverlyAnxious

Wibbles said:

OverlyAnxious said:

Wibbles said:

Do you have a wife/partner who can help you ?

No.  I cannot manage ANY person at all.  I have never had a relationship. 

I haven't had face to face contact with anyone for over two years.

So how do you obtain food etc? I find it hard to believe that anyone can survive without any human contact at all
How long have you been like this? 

I have one older relative about half an hour away that drives here once a week and leaves basic food rations by my door.  I last managed to see them face to face about 2 years ago.*

I tried supermarket deliveries but couldn't meet the minimum order value every week (I can't eat much due to digestive issues, am underweight/malnourished) and found those delivery experiences absolutely intolerable so this is the lesser of two evils.

My flat is full of faulty appliances and fixtures that I cannot have repaired or replaced.  I can buy small things online and have them left outside the door to bring in when I feel up to it. 

As another member said, I am surviving, not living.  This is not a sustainable way to exist.


*Up until 2 years ago I was still just about managing to drive to the local shop (1 mile away) at a quiet time to get my shopping using a self-service checkout so no direct contact.  Sadly my stomach, throat and balance issues reached the point where I could physically no longer manage a vehicle journey, walking around the shop or carrying shopping.  It is not actually the anxiety that prevents me doing things, it is the physical issues.  Anxiety is only one of many triggers that exacerbates them.  I have a severe phobia of bodily fluids so am not able to just 'clean up' at the destination and continue the task.

Pre-Covid I was able to meet one person at a time either outside or at their property.  I never could cope with anyone in my property.  That was just two relatives each week, and one friend a few times a year, and the odd assessment for health or benefits.  Unfortunately, the more I did them, the worse it got, I really regret going through the PIP process and the mental health assessments in 2019, they were really the last straw for being able to manage socially.

OverlyAnxious

Bettahm said:

Yes I believe you are on the autistic spectrum. Mine was done during covid so they did it on Microsoft Teams. So they can use that.
I have depression anxiety and OCD all pretty common in autism.
Also a strange one cmht and all knew about but didnt know what it's called. I cant stand to see or feel my own body.
Guess it's a sort of anxiety but I dont know.
When you said you no longer speak, autistics can be non verbal.
I find being around people psychologically distressing,  something my PIP tribunal noted in their report.
Good description, all my life thought I was painfully shy.
So I dont see people now.

I have just started sessions with a psychologist at Transforming Care, but it is on the phone. If she pre books a time shes going to call I can deal with it.

I'm wondering if they or any of them do online sessions like this. I had them once with IESO think they were called but that was CBT which was rubbish, then I found out it doesnt work for autistics. Online sessions might help you, if available somewhere?.

I can't manage video calls unfortunately.  They are no different than face to face or telephone for me.  I was 'watching' a Zoom anxiety group once a fortnight for a few months but never could speak on it and seeing all the people every week just kept making things worse and worse to the point where I could no longer do it at all. (There's a pattern forming lol!)

I can't manage phone calls at all.  In the past I allowed one relative to phone twice a year as they lived too far for me to travel, but asked that they kept to specific times and days for that.  As with everything else, the more I did it, the worse I got, until I couldn't do it at all.  This is the opposite of 'textbook' mental health treatment, which is why I think there must be a neurodiversity underlying my anxiety.

I cannot physically speak now due to throat issues.  I don't know what's happened to it, feels very rough, lumpy, restrictive all the time.  Obviously can't have it diagnosed.  For the last 3 or 4 years I just end up choking or gagging if I try to say more than a few words and that then sets off my stomach.  I'm not actually 'non-verbal' in the standard way.  I've always been shy & quiet though, so it's been difficult to get this across as an additional issue.

I am interested in not being able to stand seeing or feeling your own body.  This is definitely a major part of my issue.  No-one has ever mentioned it before, even at the numerous anxiety assessments I was forced through between 2012 and 2020.

Bettahm

OverlyAnxious said:

Bettahm said:

Yes I believe you are on the autistic spectrum. Mine was done during covid so they did it on Microsoft Teams. So they can use that.
I have depression anxiety and OCD all pretty common in autism.
Also a strange one cmht and all knew about but didnt know what it's called. I cant stand to see or feel my own body.
Guess it's a sort of anxiety but I dont know.
When you said you no longer speak, autistics can be non verbal.
I find being around people psychologically distressing,  something my PIP tribunal noted in their report.
Good description, all my life thought I was painfully shy.
So I dont see people now.

I have just started sessions with a psychologist at Transforming Care, but it is on the phone. If she pre books a time shes going to call I can deal with it.

I'm wondering if they or any of them do online sessions like this. I had them once with IESO think they were called but that was CBT which was rubbish, then I found out it doesnt work for autistics. Online sessions might help you, if available somewhere?.

I can't manage video calls unfortunately.  They are no different than face to face or telephone for me.  I was 'watching' a Zoom anxiety group once a fortnight for a few months but never could speak on it and seeing all the people every week just kept making things worse and worse to the point where I could no longer do it at all. (There's a pattern forming lol!)

I can't manage phone calls at all.  In the past I allowed one relative to phone twice a year as they lived too far for me to travel, but asked that they kept to specific times and days for that.  As with everything else, the more I did it, the worse I got, until I couldn't do it at all.  This is the opposite of 'textbook' mental health treatment, which is why I think there must be a neurodiversity underlying my anxiety.

I cannot physically speak now due to throat issues.  I don't know what's happened to it, feels very rough, lumpy, restrictive all the time.  Obviously can't have it diagnosed.  For the last 3 or 4 years I just end up choking or gagging if I try to say more than a few words and that then sets off my stomach.  I'm not actually 'non-verbal' in the standard way.  I've always been shy & quiet though, so it's been difficult to get this across as an additional issue.

I am interested in not being able to stand seeing or feeling your own body.  This is definitely a major part of my issue.  No-one has ever mentioned it before, even at the numerous anxiety assessments I was forced through between 2012 and 2020.

Well yes we do seem to have similarities only you are in a seriously bad position, much further down the road then me.
It's really possible in my humble opinion that undiagnosed autism is to blame for you. 
Things have just steadily piled up for you over the years, maybe they were trying to treat your anxiety without looking for the root of the problem. And the longer it goes on, worse things become.
I am certainly finding I can do less and/or am finding things harder as I go on with this 'thing'.

I do not miss being around people or actually want to be around people and am getting far to comfortable in my little old cottage to really want to go anywhere. I have no family, no friends, and have never had a relationship. Or wanted one!

Could your throat and stomach issues be acid reflux do you think?
I have it but it's not regular acid reflux as it's not there all the time. Anxiety can cause real physical ailments as I'm sure you know.

Dont give up. Sometimes I think I'm giving up. Then something makes me angry and I'm on it again. I've emailed my gp about being kicked out of cmht and asked for a public enquiry as most certainly happening up and down the country and just downright wrong! For numerous reasons.

Hang in there, I wish you could get that autism diagnosis.

MarieBarl

I cannot imagine how difficult it is to deal with a situation where you are so overwhelmed.

These assessments are a strain for any of us. To undergo them when you have this kind of barrier must be an inconceivable kind of torture.

OverlyAnxious

Bettahm said:

I do not miss being around people or actually want to be around people and am getting far to comfortable in my little old cottage to really want to go anywhere. I have no family, no friends, and have never had a relationship. Or wanted one!

Could your throat and stomach issues be acid reflux do you think?
I have it but it's not regular acid reflux as it's not there all the time. Anxiety can cause real physical ailments as I'm sure you know.

I would like to be a bit more sociable myself.  I can't see a proper relationship being possible but I would like a real life 'acquaintance' to be able to visit and do things with.  I used to go to small local outdoor events like car shows and music shows and occasionally visit museums, gardens and stately homes.  I don't like being at home at all, I wouldn't say I'm ever comfortable here, I used to go out almost every day just for a break from it.  I'm also well aware that I need hospital treatment for a few of my physical issues (not mentioned in this thread) and that obviously requires being able to manage social situations.

I can't read or write (or even think!) certain 'bodily' trigger words now so can't go into much detail about my physical issues.

I was just told by the GP back in 2018 that stomachs get weaker as we age and that the process had been accelerated in my case because of the 'abuse' I'd given it over the years.  Basically, the only way I could get through a day of school, college, work (briefly!) and any other task or event away from home was to have a major IBS 'clearout' beforehand and then not to eat or drink anything throughout the day until I was home again.  20 odd years of that was bound to cause long term damage.

My throat happened separately though, I think that may be an issue with glands or muscles or tonsils or something.  The Doctor was equally unhelpful regarding that back in 2019.  Just told me he'd make a referral 'when' I became well enough to access the hospital, which was never going to happen!

I am now on an anti-nausea medication but it doesn't make any difference.  Took a huge amount of time and effort to get it into body regularly and now I can't come off it because I can't manage any side effects of doing so.  Again, another regret from trying to access health services.

Bettahm

OverlyAnxious said:

Bettahm said:

I do not miss being around people or actually want to be around people and am getting far to comfortable in my little old cottage to really want to go anywhere. I have no family, no friends, and have never had a relationship. Or wanted one!

Could your throat and stomach issues be acid reflux do you think?
I have it but it's not regular acid reflux as it's not there all the time. Anxiety can cause real physical ailments as I'm sure you know.

I would like to be a bit more sociable myself.  I can't see a proper relationship being possible but I would like a real life 'acquaintance' to be able to visit and do things with.  I used to go to small local outdoor events like car shows and music shows and occasionally visit museums, gardens and stately homes.  I don't like being at home at all, I wouldn't say I'm ever comfortable here, I used to go out almost every day just for a break from it.  I'm also well aware that I need hospital treatment for a few of my physical issues (not mentioned in this thread) and that obviously requires being able to manage social situations.

I can't read or write (or even think!) certain 'bodily' trigger words now so can't go into much detail about my physical issues.

I was just told by the GP back in 2018 that stomachs get weaker as we age and that the process had been accelerated in my case because of the 'abuse' I'd given it over the years.  Basically, the only way I could get through a day of school, college, work (briefly!) and any other task or event away from home was to have a major IBS 'clearout' beforehand and then not to eat or drink anything throughout the day until I was home again.  20 odd years of that was bound to cause long term damage.

My throat happened separately though, I think that may be an issue with glands or muscles or tonsils or something.  The Doctor was equally unhelpful regarding that back in 2019.  Just told me he'd make a referral 'when' I became well enough to access the hospital, which was never going to happen!

I am now on an anti-nausea medication but it doesn't make any difference.  Took a huge amount of time and effort to get it into body regularly and now I can't come off it because I can't manage any side effects of doing so.  Again, another regret from trying to access health services.

OverlyAnxious said:

Bettahm said:

I do not miss being around people or actually want to be around people and am getting far to comfortable in my little old cottage to really want to go anywhere. I have no family, no friends, and have never had a relationship. Or wanted one!

Could your throat and stomach issues be acid reflux do you think?
I have it but it's not regular acid reflux as it's not there all the time. Anxiety can cause real physical ailments as I'm sure you know.

I would like to be a bit more sociable myself.  I can't see a proper relationship being possible but I would like a real life 'acquaintance' to be able to visit and do things with.  I used to go to small local outdoor events like car shows and music shows and occasionally visit museums, gardens and stately homes.  I don't like being at home at all, I wouldn't say I'm ever comfortable here, I used to go out almost every day just for a break from it.  I'm also well aware that I need hospital treatment for a few of my physical issues (not mentioned in this thread) and that obviously requires being able to manage social situations.

I can't read or write (or even think!) certain 'bodily' trigger words now so can't go into much detail about my physical issues.

I was just told by the GP back in 2018 that stomachs get weaker as we age and that the process had been accelerated in my case because of the 'abuse' I'd given it over the years.  Basically, the only way I could get through a day of school, college, work (briefly!) and any other task or event away from home was to have a major IBS 'clearout' beforehand and then not to eat or drink anything throughout the day until I was home again.  20 odd years of that was bound to cause long term damage.

My throat happened separately though, I think that may be an issue with glands or muscles or tonsils or something.  The Doctor was equally unhelpful regarding that back in 2019.  Just told me he'd make a referral 'when' I became well enough to access the hospital, which was never going to happen!

I am now on an anti-nausea medication but it doesn't make any difference.  Took a huge amount of time and effort to get it into body regularly and now I can't come off it because I can't manage any side effects of doing so.  Again, another regret from trying to access

health services.

Bettahm

Bettahm said:

OverlyAnxious said:

Bettahm said:

I do not miss being around people or actually want to be around people and am getting far to comfortable in my little old cottage to really want to go anywhere. I have no family, no friends, and have never had a relationship. Or wanted one!

Could your throat and stomach issues be acid reflux do you think?
I have it but it's not regular acid reflux as it's not there all the time. Anxiety can cause real physical ailments as I'm sure you know.

I would like to be a bit more sociable myself.  I can't see a proper relationship being possible but I would like a real life 'acquaintance' to be able to visit and do things with.  I used to go to small local outdoor events like car shows and music shows and occasionally visit museums, gardens and stately homes.  I don't like being at home at all, I wouldn't say I'm ever comfortable here, I used to go out almost every day just for a break from it.  I'm also well aware that I need hospital treatment for a few of my physical issues (not mentioned in this thread) and that obviously requires being able to manage social situations.

I can't read or write (or even think!) certain 'bodily' trigger words now so can't go into much detail about my physical issues.

I was just told by the GP back in 2018 that stomachs get weaker as we age and that the process had been accelerated in my case because of the 'abuse' I'd given it over the years.  Basically, the only way I could get through a day of school, college, work (briefly!) and any other task or event away from home was to have a major IBS 'clearout' beforehand and then not to eat or drink anything throughout the day until I was home again.  20 odd years of that was bound to cause long term damage.

My throat happened separately though, I think that may be an issue with glands or muscles or tonsils or something.  The Doctor was equally unhelpful regarding that back in 2019.  Just told me he'd make a referral 'when' I became well enough to access the hospital, which was never going to happen!

I am now on an anti-nausea medication but it doesn't make any difference.  Took a huge amount of time and effort to get it into body regularly and now I can't come off it because I can't manage any side effects of doing so.  Again, another regret from trying to access health services.

OverlyAnxious said:

Bettahm said:

I do not miss being around people or actually want to be around people and am getting far to comfortable in my little old cottage to really want to go anywhere. I have no family, no friends, and have never had a relationship. Or wanted one!

Could your throat and stomach issues be acid reflux do you think?
I have it but it's not regular acid reflux as it's not there all the time. Anxiety can cause real physical ailments as I'm sure you know.

I would like to be a bit more sociable myself.  I can't see a proper relationship being possible but I would like a real life 'acquaintance' to be able to visit and do things with.  I used to go to small local outdoor events like car shows and music shows and occasionally visit museums, gardens and stately homes.  I don't like being at home at all, I wouldn't say I'm ever comfortable here, I used to go out almost every day just for a break from it.  I'm also well aware that I need hospital treatment for a few of my physical issues (not mentioned in this thread) and that obviously requires being able to manage social situations.

I can't read or write (or even think!) certain 'bodily' trigger words now so can't go into much detail about my physical issues.

I was just told by the GP back in 2018 that stomachs get weaker as we age and that the process had been accelerated in my case because of the 'abuse' I'd given it over the years.  Basically, the only way I could get through a day of school, college, work (briefly!) and any other task or event away from home was to have a major IBS 'clearout' beforehand and then not to eat or drink anything throughout the day until I was home again.  20 odd years of that was bound to cause long term damage.

My throat happened separately though, I think that may be an issue with glands or muscles or tonsils or something.  The Doctor was equally unhelpful regarding that back in 2019.  Just told me he'd make a referral 'when' I became well enough to access the hospital, which was never going to happen!

I am now on an anti-nausea medication but it doesn't make any difference.  Took a huge amount of time and effort to get it into body regularly and now I can't come off it because I can't manage any side effects of doing so.  Again, another regret from trying to access

health services.

Bettahm said:

OverlyAnxious said:

Bettahm said:

I do not miss being around people or actually want to be around people and am getting far to comfortable in my little old cottage to really want to go anywhere. I have no family, no friends, and have never had a relationship. Or wanted one!

Could your throat and stomach issues be acid reflux do you think?
I have it but it's not regular acid reflux as it's not there all the time. Anxiety can cause real physical ailments as I'm sure you know.

I would like to be a bit more sociable myself.  I can't see a proper relationship being possible but I would like a real life 'acquaintance' to be able to visit and do things with.  I used to go to small local outdoor events like car shows and music shows and occasionally visit museums, gardens and stately homes.  I don't like being at home at all, I wouldn't say I'm ever comfortable here, I used to go out almost every day just for a break from it.  I'm also well aware that I need hospital treatment for a few of my physical issues (not mentioned in this thread) and that obviously requires being able to manage social situations.

I can't read or write (or even think!) certain 'bodily' trigger words now so can't go into much detail about my physical issues.

I was just told by the GP back in 2018 that stomachs get weaker as we age and that the process had been accelerated in my case because of the 'abuse' I'd given it over the years.  Basically, the only way I could get through a day of school, college, work (briefly!) and any other task or event away from home was to have a major IBS 'clearout' beforehand and then not to eat or drink anything throughout the day until I was home again.  20 odd years of that was bound to cause long term damage.

My throat happened separately though, I think that may be an issue with glands or muscles or tonsils or something.  The Doctor was equally unhelpful regarding that back in 2019.  Just told me he'd make a referral 'when' I became well enough to access the hospital, which was never going to happen!

I am now on an anti-nausea medication but it doesn't make any difference.  Took a huge amount of time and effort to get it into body regularly and now I can't come off it because I can't manage any side effects of doing so.  Again, another regret from trying to access health services.

OverlyAnxious said:

Bettahm said:

I do not miss being around people or actually want to be around people and am getting far to comfortable in my little old cottage to really want to go anywhere. I have no family, no friends, and have never had a relationship. Or wanted one!

Could your throat and stomach issues be acid reflux do you think?
I have it but it's not regular acid reflux as it's not there all the time. Anxiety can cause real physical ailments as I'm sure you know.

I would like to be a bit more sociable myself.  I can't see a proper relationship being possible but I would like a real life 'acquaintance' to be able to visit and do things with.  I used to go to small local outdoor events like car shows and music shows and occasionally visit museums, gardens and stately homes.  I don't like being at home at all, I wouldn't say I'm ever comfortable here, I used to go out almost every day just for a break from it.  I'm also well aware that I need hospital treatment for a few of my physical issues (not mentioned in this thread) and that obviously requires being able to manage social situations.

I can't read or write (or even think!) certain 'bodily' trigger words now so can't go into much detail about my physical issues.

I was just told by the GP back in 2018 that stomachs get weaker as we age and that the process had been accelerated in my case because of the 'abuse' I'd given it over the years.  Basically, the only way I could get through a day of school, college, work (briefly!) and any other task or event away from home was to have a major IBS 'clearout' beforehand and then not to eat or drink anything throughout the day until I was home again.  20 odd years of that was bound to cause long term damage.

My throat happened separately though, I think that may be an issue with glands or muscles or tonsils or something.  The Doctor was equally unhelpful regarding that back in 2019.  Just told me he'd make a referral 'when' I became well enough to access the hospital, which was never going to happen!

I am now on an anti-nausea medication but it doesn't make any difference.  Took a huge amount of time and effort to get it into body regularly and now I can't come off it because I can't manage any side effects of doing so.  Again, another regret from trying to access

health services.

Something I did wrong there its posted some weird stuff I think.
No I seriously dont want to be around people. Tried it most of my life it doent work. Just leads to severe stress. I've never been able to hold down a job either, spent most of my life unemployed. I like my own company and used to love going to the seaside and have been last year a d this but for some reason it just doent work, come home feeling miserable and stressed and not sure why.
Like you I have IBS and bladder too that play up if I have to go out.
I have my dogs and can do anything for them, vets, groomers, walks. They honestly keep me going I'd give up without them.
Love my fish too
Weird I can go to the vets but not my gps! Lol!
The IBS, yes I dont eat or drink if have to leave home, been that way for years. I guess for me the stress of day to day life in the past, not now, led to heavy smoking and drinking, comfort eating when I was at school. IBS kicked in in my teens but didnt know what is was for years. Sure the alcohol didnr help with the IBS 
I still now blame undiagnosed autism for all this but not a lot we can do about it

Bettahm

@OverlyAnxious
Do you think you would be able to go out to car shows etc if you had a acquaintance then?
Though I have found these people dont grow on trees.

OverlyAnxious

Bettahm said:

@OverlyAnxious
Do you think you would be able to go out to car shows etc if you had a acquaintance then?
Though I have found these people dont grow on trees.

Not now.  I can't even sit in a stationary car car with the engine running due to the vertigo and stomach issues being so easily triggered now.  And I can't physically get enough calories in to allow for the extra needed for just one day out.  I estimate it would take 5+ years of medical treatment (inc waiting times etc) to get my body back to physically being able to manage that sort of thing again.  And that's assuming there is treatment for things like the vertigo and stomach issues which there may not be...

Now being housebound and unable to manage any other people face to face at all, I don't see any way to meet a local acquaintance now.

Bettahm

OverlyAnxious said:

Bettahm said:

@OverlyAnxious
Do you think you would be able to go out to car shows etc if you had a acquaintance then?
Though I have found these people dont grow on trees.

Not now.  I can't even sit in a stationary car car with the engine running due to the vertigo and stomach issues being so easily triggered now.  And I can't physically get enough calories in to allow for the extra needed for just one day out.  I estimate it would take 5+ years of medical treatment (inc waiting times etc) to get my body back to physically being able to manage that sort of thing again.  And that's assuming there is treatment for things like the vertigo and stomach issues which there may not be...

Now being housebound and unable to manage any other people face to face at all, I don't see any way to meet a local acquaintance now.

Things we would love to do but cant
I thought I would sell the house last year (!) leave all my troubles behind. Start a new life. It sold quickly, the estate agent did the viewings, I went out. Couldnt handle that. Or any of it. Pulled out as soon as she told me someone offered the asking price.
Things we wish we could do but cant. For now anyway. Our IBS is anxiety driven of course. 
I have vertigo too!