HELP !total confusion — Scope | Disability forum
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HELP !total confusion

bigears
bigears Community member Posts: 4 Listener
edited October 2023 in Start here and say hello!
hello everyone my name is wendy, im 64 live with my son who is 27  although he is always out,  long story short, husband left 2016 he got on drugs,,, his name on mortgage, not seen him in 7 years, I cleared all the debts he left council tax water arrears on mortgage, i got evicted in 2018 but begged mortgage company and they said if i dont miss any paymnets they will cancel eviction, not missed a payment since, benefits were paying me £1 per month for 6 months debt shot up,  in dec 2019 my father died,     in jan 2020 i was admitted to hospital with constant vomiting and dehydrated,  doc put me on drip said lets see how she is after breakfast if she is not sick   discharge her,  i was sick but they could not contact doctor, this went on til 2021, lost 3 stone in weight never left my bed for 18 months, with covid i just got left!!! in 2019 i wrote to some one on line i was suicidal, the mental health team came and visited jan 23, they have been 5 times since,  psychiatrist, his assistant  and a social worker! they assessed my memory because i was struggling with it, the scores were low just on putting shapes together doing dot to dot!, i cannot remeber things seconds before, i cant hold conversations, cant do maths on a bad day most days, im very abusive to every one i become violent, never hit or abused any one as i stay at home alone, the psychiatrist has suggested, organic brain disorder,( but lets hang fire on that?) in one letter and in the next letter he says it could be dysecutive disorder!, ( but lets hang fire on that?)after a long letter about all the trauma abuse violence hunger i have had and it possibly being connected to the damage my dad done to me and him dying, the very last sentence the  psychiatrist wrote  said

your a strong women and maybe when your divorce is final things will settle,  i feel patronised, hurt angry,  

so my assessmnet due march 23, did not have any new medical evidence to prove my life is a mess, doc will not give my illness a name? i have  copd,,,,thyroid problem 10 years hyatus hernia 15 years  restless leg issue, pain in hips both catteracks done, 

is there a way i can get some one to help please,
i have not heard from march about assessment but because of my memory and doing it alone, i left so much out,
and  another question please 
if the psy admits its either this or that   is that not enough to tell UC or Pip i am ill!

hope this is ok x
its taken me about 4 hours to write this because i repeat things over and over please consider my into account THANK YOU 


Comments

  • INDITics
    INDITics Scope Member Posts: 33 Connected
    Hi Wendy, I am so sorry to hear that you went through that, I know what it's like for doctors to minimise what yiu are going through and chalk it up to stress due to something however that should be the reason they take things seriously. I was diagnosed with Tourettes after a few months to a year of different doctors telling me that if i just lose some weight and add walking to my routine that the ticks and seizures should go, wasn't until i decided to find a docto that would listen to me that things got sorted.

    don't feel as though seeing one doctor of a speficic need is the end all, i know it's going to be long but unfortunately we are still in a time where doctors aren't even clued up on what is going on in the world when it comes to disability.

    I would try and do some research on doctors that specialise in the answers you are looking for i found that if i do it on my own they seem to help me better. I have now been diagnosed with all sorts of things and getting the required help because I put my foot down and told them you aren't going to call me crazy and delusional for wanting to know answers.

    but that is just my experience, I am not sure if others would disagree.

    I am happy to have a chat if you ever feel alone or need a friend :)

    hope you get an answer soon 

    Indi 
  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 1,618 Scope online community team
    Hello @bigears and welcome to the community. Sorry all this has happened to you, it sounds like you've been through some really difficult times. Some doctors can be so dismissive and don't always realise how much their attitudes can affect their patients. @INDITics has already given some thoughtful advice so far.

    Apologies if I have misunderstood your second question, but from my experience the benefit assessments aren't necessarily looking for a named diagnosis of a particular condition to confirm someone's disability. They are often more interested in examples of how your difficulties or symptoms affect your day-to-day life against certain descriptors on their forms. So unfortunately for most applications they will need more than a clinician's diagnosis as evidence, although it can be useful to have. 

    Is there anyone around helping to support you other than your son? 
    Rosie (she/her)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • bigears
    bigears Community member Posts: 4 Listener
    INDITics said:
    Hi Wendy, I am so sorry to hear that you went through that, I know what it's like for doctors to minimise what yiu are going through and chalk it up to stress due to something however that should be the reason they take things seriously. I was diagnosed with Tourettes after a few months to a year of different doctors telling me that if i just lose some weight and add walking to my routine that the ticks and seizures should go, wasn't until i decided to find a docto that would listen to me that things got sorted.

    don't feel as though seeing one doctor of a speficic need is the end all, i know it's going to be long but unfortunately we are still in a time where doctors aren't even clued up on what is going on in the world when it comes to disability.

    I would try and do some research on doctors that specialise in the answers you are looking for i found that if i do it on my own they seem to help me better. I have now been diagnosed with all sorts of things and getting the required help because I put my foot down and told them you aren't going to call me crazy and delusional for wanting to know answers.

    but that is just my experience, I am not sure if others would disagree.

    I am happy to have a chat if you ever feel alone or need a friend :)

    hope you get an answer soon 

    Indi 
    Hello and Thank you for reply,  unfortunately because of the memory i cant search, it took me ages to find this page again today,  i change passwords on average once a day, apparantly the psy says its to do with the frontal lobes which direct every thing into your brain, x  !!!!  
  • bigears
    bigears Community member Posts: 4 Listener
    Hello @bigears and welcome to the community. Sorry all this has happened to you, it sounds like you've been through some really difficult times. Some doctors can be so dismissive and don't always realise how much their attitudes can affect their patients. @INDITics has already given some thoughtful advice so far.

    Apologies if I have misunderstood your second question, but from my experience the benefit assessments aren't necessarily looking for a named diagnosis of a particular condition to confirm someone's disability. They are often more interested in examples of how your difficulties or symptoms affect your day-to-day life against certain descriptors on their forms. So unfortunately for most applications they will need more than a clinician's diagnosis as evidence, although it can be useful to have. 

    Is there anyone around helping to support you other than your son? 
    Hello my son is in full time work and always takes jobs in his spare time, and lives with his girlfriend but comes to visit me 2 times a week . Thanks for that information it has helped , 
  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 2,807 Scope online community team
    Heya @bigears sorry to hear you have issues remembering passwords.  Have you tried using a password manager program for your computer or phone?  Googles Password manager is really good and has saved me many hours of tearing out my hair. 
    Albus (he/him)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
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    Opinions expressed are solely my own.
    Neurodivergent.
  • bigears
    bigears Community member Posts: 4 Listener
    Heya @bigears sorry to hear you have issues remembering passwords.  Have you tried using a password manager program for your computer or phone?  Googles Password manager is really good and has saved me many hours of tearing out my hair. 
    hi there thanks for the reply, i did click on your link and the first thing it does is ask for a password which i dont remember, this is the issue, , 
  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 2,807 Scope online community team
    bigears said:
    hi there thanks for the reply, i did click on your link and the first thing it does is ask for a password which i dont remember, this is the issue, , 

    That's quite the catch 22 situation! 

    If you use a google account, their password manager is really good.  But there's plenty of other ones out there to use. You'll only need to remember one password that way, just make sure you write it down on a piece of paper and put it somewhere safe. :)
    Albus (he/him)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
    Want to give us feedback? Complete our feedback form now.
    Opinions expressed are solely my own.
    Neurodivergent.
  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 52,085 Disability Gamechanger
    bigears said:
    Heya @bigears sorry to hear you have issues remembering passwords.  Have you tried using a password manager program for your computer or phone?  Googles Password manager is really good and has saved me many hours of tearing out my hair. 
    hi there thanks for the reply, i did click on your link and the first thing it does is ask for a password which i dont remember, this is the issue, , 

    Passwards can be a pain to remember, especially when most websites dictate what characters you should use such as at least 2 capitals, a special character and at least 1 number. I find it very annoying. I'm not good at remembering them either so i keep all passwords in my phone.

    Google is good for remembering passwards and will ask if you would like to save them, assuming it's not a shared device of course.
    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.

Brightness

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