Fitting in.

Strawberry1

I seem to be battling within myself as to whether I fit in . For a long time I've always seemed to be a people pleaser too fit in . I started a group chat on zoom for a specific topic.  I've only attended 2 sessions and I don't feel like I fit in due to me being me . They are having an informal meeting on Saturday and I've decided I'm not attending.  I've done the decent thing and have let them know . I'm not attending because I don't feel comfortable.  I really just don't fit in anywhere. 

Jimm_Alumni

Hey @Strawberry1, I understand those worries and concerns. I definitely spent a lot of time as a kid and in my teens flitting from group to group of people. Struggling to fit in or be comfortable as myself around others. It was only really online I felt comfortable talking with others.

Have you ever talked about this with a therapist or counsellor? I found talking with my therapist about how I felt interacting with people really helped to get my over many of the obstacles I put in my own way. I discovered that a common symptom of ADHD that I also have is rejection sensitivity disorder. Despite it's name it's not just about potentially reacting to rejection in a disproportionate way. But about avoiding even the possibility of rejection by trying to be such a people pleaser to the point you don't feel... yourself? 

As I said, speaking with a therapist helped me a lot with this. I know on the NHS it can be hard to get this sort of help, but it is available even if the wait times can be longer. Have you spoken to your GP about the possibility?

Strawberry1

Hi @Jimm_Scope , I appreciate your feedback.  I have had some talking therapy stuff but I can't remember if I've spoken to them about this . I'm awaiting autism and adhd assessments at the moment. I hope at some point I will sort things out . Thanks again. Take care of yourself.