Top Trumps?

66Mustang

Has anybody else noticed that some people, in real life, when you explain you are struggling with something, have to try and “beat” your problems by saying that their problems are worse?

When people do this I have, perhaps crudely, taken to calling it “Disability Top Trumps”.

I find it a bit pointless because lots and lots of people have problems and need support. Everyone’s problems matter, even if they differ in severity. If only the “worst” person mattered then only one person in the world would get support!

I am of the opinion that everyone has unique problems and there is no point trying to compare or compete. If I can’t go out alone at all, and someone else can manage to get to the shops alone but nothing more, I still have sympathy for that person and want to support them, even though my problem is technically “worse” than theirs.

| am interested to know whether anyone else has experienced this or what people think.

66Mustang

Perhaps one could also extend this outside of disability. E.g. someone who I know who likes to play Disability Top Trumps also tries to trump people with other problems. One example is when family members say they are struggling with mortgage rates they say they have absolutely no sympathy as they got through the period of 15-20% interest rates in the 80s.

OverlyAnxious

Yes, all of my older relatives have always done this.  Reached the point a few years ago where it just wasn't worth telling them anything!  They'd had always had it worse, or knew someone else who had.

66Mustang

@OverlyAnxious it's funny - I went through a period in my late teens/early 20s of being rather suicidal. One of my elderly relatives would often tell me to "stop being silly" or "snap out of it". She is now frail and, understandably actually, despairs at how she can't do things. However she has started making remarks like "just give me a shotgun" or "all I need is a bottle of vodka and some paracetamol". If I told her to snap out of it she'd be furious!!!!

66Mustang

@Biblioklept

What you do makes perfect sense to me and is what I do sometimes. I just call that making conversation. But I do know people who I can say their actual intention is to "trump" others with problems that are, in their mind, more deserving of sympathy.

I actually feel that sympathy is, in a way, a bit like respect - in that people who demand it usually don't deserve it - people who don't ask or go out looking for it usually are the ones who need it!

Biblioklept said:

66Mustang said:

@OverlyAnxious it's funny - I went through a period in my late teens/early 20s of being rather suicidal. One of my elderly relatives would often tell me to "stop being silly" or "snap out of it". She is now frail and, understandably actually, despairs at how she can't do things. However she has started making remarks like "just give me a shotgun" or "all I need is a bottle of vodka and some paracetamol". If I told her to snap out of it she'd be furious!!!!

I hate the 'snap out of it' mentality. "Oh yes, why didn't I think of just stopping feeling this way?!"

Yep agree!