Would you have your child sectioned due to mental health that hasn't yet been diagnosed?

nee

I have a 17 year old son and I swear blind he has bipolar disorder. He's mood is on & off like a light switch. When he is in a bad mood, he slams doors, breaks things, punches holes in the doors, damages walls.. The list goes on. He has threatened many times to take he's own life, were I have had to remove all sharp objects from the house. I am very concerned for he's safety & other peoples when he's in a bad mood. 

He had a recent episode on Friday doing all the above.. I recently decorated He's room, got new doors put on and he has damaged everything . I was in 2 minds to call the mental health team because I have heard so many negative stories about them when its time to section someone. If they would have seen my son on Friday they would have definitely had to sedate him, he was out of control..

I left him to damage he's room because if I would've tried to stop him he would have tried to fight me in that moment, & there is no way I would have been allowing that so I left him to it! I am in a very difficult situation & would like some opinions if possible to what you would do in a situation like this. 

Thank you for taking the time out to read this, I really appreciate it.

Adrian_Scope

It sounds like you're facing a tough situation @nee and I can only imagine how worried you must be. I certainly understand your hesitation considering all the negative stories you've heard, but seeking professional help could be important in making sure of your son's safety and well-being. I'd encourage you to seek some mental health support for him, perhaps by speaking to your GP or self-referring directly through your local authority's CAMHS service.

Young Minds' Parents' Guide to CAMHS says:

The team will consider your child’s symptoms as well as the wider picture within the family and at school. You, your child and the CAMHS team will then discuss whether treatment is needed and, if so, what this should be. There are usually waiting lists for both initial assessment and then treatment.

In the meantime, if your son is struggling with thought so suicide or self-harm, he can always reach out directly to Samaritans on 116 123 or by texting SHOUT to 85258. I know you're concerned about going down that road, but it's important if you ever feel like he might be in immediate danger that you don't hesitate to call 999.

MW123

@nee

Two decades ago, my son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Despite grappling with significant challenges in his late teens and early twenties, he has achieved remarkable accomplishments at the age of 43 that I once deemed unattainable. During those tumultuous years, I harboured profound fears that he might not see beyond his teens or twenties, vividly even now recalling the ligature marks around his neck from a suicide attempt. 

He not only owns a home but also maintains a stable professional job and has sustained a lasting relationship for the past 15 years. This journey stands as a testament to the enduring power of hope. Regardless of the difficulties one faces, it is important to hold onto hope, as I have personally navigated through an experience very much like yours. You may not believe me now but it will get better. 

During challenging periods, particularly when his father was away for work, handling my son's moods and aggression with smashing his room was a formidable task for me. His father possessed a unique ability to calm him that I never quite mastered. In a particularly alarming incident, he demolished all the spindles in the staircase, leaving me frightened and it sounds bad and shameful as his mother but I called the police. I feared for his safety and my own. Fortunately, the police acknowledged the necessity for urgent medical intervention and arranged for his transfer to a psychiatric unit. 

After receiving various diagnoses, bipolar disorder was identified, and he has been on medication for the past twenty years. You were wise letting your son get on with it the other day and not intervening. I recognise that unsettling feeling after incidents when everything falls silent, torn between checking on him or giving him space, and not wanting to start them off again.  I so feel for you but please believe me with the right support and medication things will improve your son will get better and live a normal fulfilling life.  Take care x

nee

@woodbine
thank you.. what would you recommend? 

nee

@Adrian_Scope
Thank you for your response, I really appreciate it. I will definitely contact my gp tomorrow in regards on CAHMS.. I have spoken to my gp previously about this but it seems the referral wasn't made. I will take everything you have mentioned into consideration. Xx 

nee

@MW123
reading this touched my heart, I admire the strength in you. You had to deal with alot for many years. This message gives me hope, and I know with the right support my son will be ok. Im just worried that he will try and harm himself before he gets the support he needs. I don't want to see him end up in a psychiatric unit, my heart couldn't handle that. I myself suffer with mental health so having to deal with my son is adding more stress and anxiety to my life. 

I am doing the very best I can, and thankfully its not everyday he has these episodes. Most days he's a good boy, until he wakes up and just switches. I never know exactly what mood he will be in. 

Thank you once again, this was very much needed xx 

bless you always 

MW123

@ Nee 

Thank you for your response. Normally, I don't share personal details, but your story, especially the part about decorating your son's bedroom and his subsequent actions, deeply resonated with me. It brought back memories, and I wanted to offer you some encouragement. 

Twenty years ago, I was unfamiliar with bipolar disorder, but now I consider myself somewhat of an armchair specialist on the subject. Having a name for the condition was a big help, especially considering the lack of information available back then. Once I grasped the nature of bipolar disorder, everything started to make sense. We experienced periods of calm when my son was in high spirits, followed by episodes of depression and aggression. Even during the good weeks, I couldn't fully relax, always feeling like I was walking on eggshells. 

I'm puzzled as to why you think they would section your son. Mine was never sectioned, he was considered a voluntary patient, free to leave at any time, but he chose to stay and seek help. The staff handling his case were exceptional. The psychiatrist who initially took charge continued to see my son in clinic periodically for 15 years afterwards, until retirement. His care was then transitioned back to the GP. 

I'm truly sorry to hear that you've been dealing with stress and anxiety. I sincerely hope you're taking the time to care for yourself. During that challenging period, I didn't have any health issues myself, but I was juggling a demanding full-time job, another son three years senior to his brother, and five younger sons. Navigating through everything proved to be quite demanding, especially since my husband was frequently away for work. There were moments when I couldn't help but feel a twinge of frustration towards him. I believed that if their father had been more present, it might have eased the load on me. 

Looking back, I realise that it was an exceptionally tough time. At the onset of my son's struggles, I was 38, and I ended up developing panic attacks. The intensity was overwhelming, giving me the sensation of suffocation. This persisted intermittently for about a year. Therefore, I strongly urge you to prioritise your own health amidst the challenges. I understand it's not an easy task. If you ever feel the need to unload, please know that you are more than welcome to private message me. xx

MW123

Nee,  Above post not reading correctly.  My son has one older brother and four younger siblings what I was trying to say I had five other children to consider at the time.  I only have six sons not seven!