Coping with loss at Christmas — Scope | Disability forum
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Coping with loss at Christmas

Roddy123
Roddy123 Community member Posts: 41 Courageous
Its almost 4 years since i lost my partner who I relied on so heavily.
And i'm not sure we get over grief, we go through the motions of everything being fine but underneath we are hurting badly.
Nothing ever seems real anymore, Its like playing out in a torcherous drama where there are no winners.
In many ways my David cushioned me from anything that caused me distress, but now i wish he hadn't cushioned me so much for I was thrown in the deep end and i struggle to escape from the mire of day to day living.
Aloneness is a cruel road to travel, and there are many days i dont wish to be here.
All i can do is persevere and hope I can get away from my malaise of hopelessness.
I do know a lot of people but very few are real friends if i'm honest, in fact it would be so easy to just shut myself away, but i do hold on to the belief that better days are possible.

Comments

  • Beaver79
    Beaver79 Community member, Community Co-Production Group, Scope Member Posts: 15,702 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Roddy123 I am sorry for your loss. I do not think you ever get over losing someone you love and is such a big part of your life. I lost my husband when he was only 40 and it was very sudden. I had to carry on because I had two small children. To honour and respect his memory I do the best I can. I do not think you ever get over the loss but you do adjust. It does get easier as it is eight years for me now but you never forget. Christmas will be a difficult time for you but please use the Forum to talk to people and feel a little less alone. Perhaps in the New Year you could join a group near you just to get you out and mix a little. Your Local Council will have a list of Groups in your area. Take care. 
  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 2,911 Scope online community team
    Hey @Roddy123 I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  Can I just ask do you have people who you can lean on for support?  We're all here for you if you need a chat. 

    and I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your husband too @Beaver79.  Someone said to me "You never really stop grieving, you just don't think about the painful parts as often."  It's good to keep the memory alive and remember the good times. 
    Albus (he/him)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • Roddy123
    Roddy123 Community member Posts: 41 Courageous
    Albus_Scope.....thankyou, yes i do have people to talk to, but i must be fair i dont lean on anyone, my pride wont let me and i would hate to be a misery ,if you do, people do go off you, its a fact, so i try to be my bubbling former self in company.
  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 2,911 Scope online community team
    I'm glad you have people there if you need them @Roddy123 and we're all here if you do want to chat. :)

    As Bob Hoskin got paid a lot of money to say;

    "It's good to talk." 
    Albus (he/him)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
    Want to give us feedback? Complete our feedback form now.
    Opinions expressed are solely my own.
    Neurodivergent.

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