My 28 year old Daughter is keen to get a job.

todunlami

My daughter has been volunteering for about 8 years in multiple places. She has a learning disability. Not bad.

She is very well-behaved and wants to earn money. She has support workers and they take her to many of her appointments when I am not around. I work 2.5 hours away from home.

I believe getting a paid job will give her more confidence. She is depressed due to many rejections but not giving up. I am worried about her becoming more depressed and potentially a danger to herself.

I have tried all that I can and know.

Please help. 

Theo.

Hannah_Alumni

Hello @todunlami

Welcome to the community! Can I ask, are you living in England or Wales. Scope has an excellent Employment Support Service that you may find helpful? 

2oldcodgers

todunlami said:

My daughter has been volunteering for about 8 years in multiple places. She has a learning disability. Not bad.

She is very well-behaved and wants to earn money. She has support workers and they take her to many of her appointments when I am not around. I work 2.5 hours away from home.

I believe getting a paid job will give her more confidence. She is depressed due to many rejections but not giving up. I am worried about her becoming more depressed and potentially a danger to herself.

I have tried all that I can and know.

Please help. 

Theo.

That's great!! So many young people today would not volunteer as they demand an income for their time spent.
She will succeed with an attitude like she has. 

The same can't be said for my grandson's 18 year girlfriend. She has never had a job. No qualifications etc. People (my family) have set up interviews for her but she just has no intention of taking up the offers. The last one was washing up in the kitchen of a pub/restaurant which lasted all of two hours after moaning about doing the job to the landlord.
She currently claims UC and is trying to get pregnant. She has already worked out how much more money she will get from the State + how much she will expect from my grandson. I hear that she has admitted to a relative that she no longer takes contraceptives, but she hasn't told my grandson.

2oldcodgers

I agree and up until about 8 months ago was supposed to be going to college daily. She refused point blank to go every day. She missed so much work that the college told her that she would have to start from the beginning. Her reply to that was FO!

In our family the last thing we do is interfere with each others personal life once they attain the age of 18.
It's for them to find out about life the hard way as both of us had to do when we were over 21.

Geoark

Interesting choice of words 'She currently claims UC and is trying to get pregnant. She has already worked out how much more money she will get from the State + how much she will expect from my grandson.'

It certainly does not sound like she has plans for a happy family life with your grandson, but rather sees him as a bank that will keep on giving for 18 years. Plus thanks to his ignorance is likely to have long term affects for him. I totally agree with Woodbine, I would not hesitate to give him the information. What he does with that information is for him to choose. But at least he gets a choice.

WhatThe

2oldcodgers,
I'm baffled that you're telling us but not him!

Does she have a learning disability? Maybe she does but doesn't know (I found out at 54!) Sit them both down and work through this. Maybe ask how they'd cope with bringing up a disabled child? Could she try babysitting or nursery training if she likes babies and wants experience before taking on such a responsibility herself? Can you talk to her family too?

When I flunked school at 16, my dad said he wouldn't support me and I should get a job in Woolworth's. It was offensive and demoralising. I wasn't lazy - my first paid job was cleaning caravans and I got school holiday jobs going door to door. But once a month, every month, I was floored by period pain which nobody ever believed and nobody wanted to hear about. 

Being conditioned to believe that my lack of qualifications amounted to failure left me feeling like a huge failure for years to come..   

Can you try a different approach with these young people? Can you consider the above 28-year old's position in terms of finding paid work?
I was completely lost in the adult world without appropriate guidance. 18 is not a magic age, nor is 21 especially where a learning disability is present. 


 

Tez30

Hi, I have CP and a medical condition and it took me a while to get a job. Volunteering is a really great way to develop skills and confidence and my first job came after volunteering in a similar role. Has she got feedback on her applications as sometimes this can provide an insight into what employers are looking for. If you look for the two ticks scheme on companies; if she meets the minimum criteria on a job she would be given an interview. Sometimes taking a temporary job in a good way to get into an organisation there are less applicants and a previous job I had was internal only so it can give you access to apply for more jobs. Does your daughter get any support from an employment adviser at the job centre or another organisation? Through the job centre I was given a 10 week placement that lead to other volunteering opportunities and eventually employment. I wish your daughter the best of luck, and would say just keep trying.