Having bad luck with dating in 2023, what can you do in 2024 to be more successful? — Scope | Disability forum
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Having bad luck with dating in 2023, what can you do in 2024 to be more successful?

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Splatmate24
Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
in Dating, sex, and relationships
Is this a way to make dating more successful and get what i want from me or i become already more bitter? Depends already felt like that last year when was 2023 was one worst year of my life. Nothing much happened apart from going on different dates with maybe different men that didn't lead to any relationship or sex. For some reason when i met men at social events some men i don't find attracted to me. The last guy that i did meet at a social event did talk about his ex girlfriend that is his best friend. i just only see him as just friends and nothing more. Is that maybe got to be a red flag? I also ghosted more than once inRL to at social events too. Some last year and one this year. Is RL dating is also not working for me and only seems to work for making friends that all I get from RL and social events. I used to like some guys that I did meet through online dating but some turned me off. I have only been messaging some guys online dating as well. I will be meeting up with one man that I met through Facebook dating. It has been more helpful in finding moderate learning disabilities men that I only date thanks to my mum. I will be trying to get out more and trying to go to more events. If they have more on. I would go out more. I'm okay and that some of my experience in some of them was from 2023 and one was from 2024. I'm not sure why IRL men are just friends.
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  • Meerkat
    Meerkat Community member Posts: 1 Listener
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    Sounds frustrating. It's still early in 2024.  Maybe this will end up being a good year!  I haven't had any luck using dating sites.  There are so many scammers!  Do you mind if I ask how you find people with moderate learning disabilities through Facebook dating?  I haven't tried that and I am not sure where to start.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @meerkat there also some dating apps for learning disabity and some dating appps . Facebook dating i think i just got lucky with some men that did i think put in profile . girls on other might not . i usely just ask .  my mum is always pain in ass when comes to dating inrl or through out online dating . to get accunt on facebook and download through a smart phone the app Facebook the dating opiton will inside of the app with love pink and purple . as well finding out school that were from special education .
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  • danwheelies
    danwheelies Community member Posts: 17 Listener
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    I agree with @Meerkat that there are so many scammers on dating sites. I met my wife on Facebook dating, maybe I’m just lucky.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
    edited January 10
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    @Gnu89 how else can i find a partner if i can't do online dating . there non where i live who i like . so impossible to find a partner inrl that to been attracted to but i not be attracted to any men that i met through social events . is also not working inrl dating to . look at my question said 2023 was a bad year . not this year 2024 .
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
    edited January 10
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    danwheelies where else can i find a partner . i already tried rl dating and that also not working that met guys through out social events that i'm not even attracted to .
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  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 4,322 Scope online community team
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    All Gnu was trying to say @Splatmate24 is maybe not to think about dating for a while? There's a whole world out there to explore, you don't have to be in a relationship to enjoy it. :)
    Albus (he/him)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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    Neurodivergent.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
    edited January 10
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    Albus_Scope i'm not be thinking about dating at all . is said last year wasn't good year of year 2023 . not this year when 2024 . not been thinking about dating at all .  i just fed up with world i live since i can't really do what i want . can't go out own but only with trusted adult or mum . mainly be mum . world suck to .
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Gnu89 real life just suck to with me .can't do anything at night or day . always has a trusted adult or my mum that always comes with when comes to social events .nothing happen part from making friends that i all got from real life .
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @gn89 only hobbies i have is gaming that not get be any with meting new people 
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  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 4,322 Scope online community team
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    What sort of games do you play @Splatmate24? I have three friends who met their partners via online gaming. :) 
    Albus (he/him)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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    Neurodivergent.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Albus_Scope the games that i like are the sims 3 and sims 2, Splatoon 3 . not many people know about splatoon 3 . people only seem to know sims series .stay home when i do play vidoe games . i'm ok with boreod games . 

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  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 4,322 Scope online community team
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    Ah, yes, I've played it on the Switch. :)  I used to love the Sims 3, I spent many hours on it. 

     Have you looked into joining some online communities to chat to people about the games? Just trying to think outside the box.
    Albus (he/him)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
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    Opinions expressed are solely my own.
    Neurodivergent.
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Albus_Scope yep i have tried some games communities  very old from pc imvu,second life,highrise and sims online but did took break from some them . imvu was just full of drama and not nice user ,second life was ok but only some bad users . other virtual Worilds to that i can't remeber part from some . is was called smalltworld wasn't nice user . just users that did cyber bullying me and troll me  , only social media gaming communities  is was discord and that didn't have good users when i did used . some were virtual worlds
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  • Kimmy87
    Kimmy87 Community member Posts: 316 Pioneering
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    Would it make you happier if you were less reliant on Mum to go out with, and more on another adult perhaps a PA nearer your own age?
    I know you wouldn't be fully independent but it would give you more independence from your Mum. 

    Perhaps that's something you could ask for.

    There is a lady who goes to my Zumba class that needs another adult with her, usually it's a carer/PA and it's an arrangement that works well for her. Sometimes they even do the class with us! 
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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Kimmy87 My mum doesn't like it to when i go out with trusted adult with similar age of me . only has once but person didn't have much time with work . to counting . no i don't have any type of career/PA . or any social work to .only been with older trusted adult that my mum only seem to trusted . not the young once.

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  • Kimmy87
    Kimmy87 Community member Posts: 316 Pioneering
    edited January 10
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    If that is something that would make you happier (ignoring what Mum thinks as it's your life), are you able to make contact with your local social services and ask them to assess your needs and look at providing a PA perhaps? 
    You can be honest with them about wanting to be more independent from Mum and they will take your wishes into account. 

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  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 380 Courageous
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    @Kimmy87 yep done the taking and expensing my feeling i got told no and got into argue . my mum will always push me if i did ignoring her . dating is one only issue my mum actual put a rules even know that I'm adult she doesn't think i can't make my own decision or chose correct . only cry at Liverpool once and one women to walk to me but my mum got angry at her to trying help me for very loud . i didn't want to move at all and my mum drag me across the ground . had bite my self twice for me to get stop but still that wasn't enough . other time try hurt myself to get my mum to listen to me 
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