Autistic daughter aged 12

Parsleyandalex
Parsleyandalex Community member Posts: 2 Listener
in Families and carers
My 12 year old daughter was diagnosed with high functioning Autism last summer. 
We have been going through alot of change in the last 2 years. I separated from her dad and moved house and have been in a new relationship for the last year. Me and my partner were careful to slowly introduce her and her brother to his 2 boys 6 months ago. The boys all get on well and my daughter seemed to be coping well with spending time with either me or her dad and staying at my partners house as well. We even discussed all 6 of us going on holiday in the summer which she seemed excited about. 

Last weekend when we were meant to be staying at my partners house she suddenly had a meltdown, refusing to go saying she hated going and also hated going to her dad's and didn't want to go on holiday. 
The outcome was that she doesn't want to be anywhere but at home at my house. Doesn't like holidays even if just with me and her brother and basically only happy staying at home in her own room. 
We had spoken a few weeks earlier about that it was possible in the future that me and my partner would move in together and she wasn't happy about that either. 
I tried talking with her about why she felt like this and what we could do to help but she didn't think they was anything we could do to help. 
Just looking for any advise as to how we deal with this going forward. Thanks. 

Comments

  • EdBot79
    EdBot79 Community member Posts: 8 Listener
    I feel for you, and for your daughter. My son was diagnosed in Feb 2021 and he is now 12 - has your daughter started a new school in the last year? 

    I am also autistic so I notice more the signs and triggers that my son is overwhelmed- I too have separated in the last 3 years and there has been so much upheaval for my family.

    All I can say is do not push her - girls mask so much more and it can be difficult to nip issues in the bud because of this.  

    Happy to chat or just listen if you ever feel this might help. 

  • Parsleyandalex
    Parsleyandalex Community member Posts: 2 Listener
    EdBot79

    Thanks  for you reply. Yes she started senior school last Sept. This was one of the driving forces to getting her diagnosis. 
    She moved from a small single class per year primary school to a large senior school. The school is aware of her issues, and she seems to have settled in well. Always goes to school without any drama. But hasn't really made any friends. 
    She definitely masks. We were unaware of any problems until 2 of years ago when we had a couple of incidents and involvement with the school SENCO who was also her class teacher. It was this teacher who advised referral for assessment. 

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