What are your feelings about online dating being a waste of time for long-term relationships?

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Splatmate24
Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 411 Contributor
edited February 18 in Relationships

I got some dates throughout online dating but not of them didn't go nowhere but right back to start . I met with different men that i met throughout online but none one of men were not that interested and now i been trying to find social events but there is no social events in my town but has to go city centre to find more social events for that aim for learning disabilities . I was going to one called meet N match but is always seem to be the same people and men there i that i have no interest in or attracted to. I was on facebook just browsing and saw a post that caught my and is social events for a rave in city centre and called under one roof and did get tickets to . I don't feel like online dating is not a way to get into a long term relationship but is going to be more hard and awarke with trying to get in dating in RL and I don't think men are not going to risk to apporch a woman. If some women did send a signal is okay to apporch by using body lauguge and I have tried using body lauguge to get some men attetion but only glance at me. Body language that I have used is touching my hair,blinking and smiling. My mum thinks that men will approach me but I don't think they are going to approach me. How do you feel about online dating being a waste of time for people more intersted in long term relationship?


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  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community member, Scope Member Posts: 1,313 Championing
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    If you don't want a sexual relationship as you've said in other posts, I don't know why you are trying to flirt with men.

    I think some men would just be confused by you winking and touching your hair if they don't know you.

    If somebody likes you, it's easy to tell. It starts with friendship. Look for friends instead of dates and see what happens. 

     
  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 411 Contributor
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    @WhatThe i already tried being friends with both men and women ended up with toxic friendship . when i been friends wiht men i not  once be attracted to any guys that has be  my friends . starting is off friendship doesn't work with my previous ex friends there were women used my trust to get some previous boyfriend to temp to cheated on me and they were succeful .
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,305 Online Community Programme Lead
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    Hi @Splatmate24. I'm sorry you've experienced a partner cheating on you, it's a horrible feeling.

    I've noticed in a few of your posts that you seem to blame your female friends for tempting the boyfriend, but I think it's important to remember that the boyfriend is also responsible for his actions and not all friends will use you to get close to your boyfriend.

    In terms of online dating, I think it depends what you are looking for or what sort of places you are using but I've known many people who found successful relationships that started out online.

    Like @WhatThe says, friendship is the best starting place. 
  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 411 Contributor
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    Adrian_Scope i did't blame any of my female friends and did rejected them if they kept asking to become my friends and one tried to force me into a friendship that i knrew was't a good friends to begin  and did lie a lot about me and started drama .  i just said toxic friends

  • james1990
    james1990 Community member Posts: 37 Listener
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    I really need to start dating again.. My last relationship was like 8 years ago. But I got burnt and I don't wanna feel like that again. 


  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community member, Scope Member Posts: 1,313 Championing
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    Splatmate, I'm trying to explain that we don't agree long-term relationships with strangers. We make friends first.
     
    If you enjoy chats and writing then forums like this are a good place to practice making friends with - safely - because you've no idea who is behind a user-name and they could live in another country!

    If you want a companion for a cinema night or a coffee then 'meet N match' is ideal to find someone in your area looking for the same thing. New people will join if you keep going back.

    There isn't really any other way of meeting people but to leave the house and go somewhere. 
    What do you want a date for and where would your ideal date take place? Do you have any hobbies or pets to talk about? 

    Remember that anyone you meet when you're out of the house could have friends, brothers, uncles, nephews. Most of us want the same thing. We all want to be liked and loved by somebody. It just takes practice and patience.   

    One general rule is that you don't introduce yourself and start talking about past boyfriends or what you don't like or don't want. Be positive and show interest by asking questions rather talking about yourself or old boyfriends.  
     

  • Stellar
    Stellar Community member Posts: 131 Empowering
    edited February 21
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    WhatThe said:

    One general rule is that you don't introduce yourself and start talking about past boyfriends or what you don't like or don't want. Be positive and show interest by asking questions rather talking about yourself or old boyfriends.  
    [Removed by moderator - Against Community Guidelines] 

    Additionally, given how toxic and overly sexual dating culture is, asexual disabled people are far better off seeking friends in person and letting relationships develop organically. That's the reality of dating in the 2020s, unfortunately.
  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 5,766 Championing
    edited February 20
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    Hi @Stellar, I've had to remove the first part of your comment.  Please remind yourself of our community house rules
  • Splatmate24
    Splatmate24 Community member Posts: 411 Contributor
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    @WhatThe i have been going to meet N match but there nobody new there . just be same people coming to Meet & match and one of men said talking about his ex gf is his best friends .  i did stoped going since i saw a new social events in simlar area of city centre .

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community member, Scope Member Posts: 1,313 Championing
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    It's fine to stop going and one day go back. There may be new people who have joined by then and you'll only know if you're there.

    New social events in an area you know sounds ideal. If you feel good when you get home then the outing has been a success. 

    Some people don't enjoy talking and prefer group activities. Some people may have sensory discomfort or be in pain or extremely nervous about the dating scene as you seem to be.

    It's healthy to keep going out and trying to meet someone IRL. Has anyone told you it's easy? Of course not. Remember, it's not about the destination but the journey!