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My mother thinks my 13 year old brother is too young for boxer shorts

Jack03

How do I convince mom to let my let my 13 year old younger brother with ADHD to have boxer shorts, he wanted them for his 13th birthday as a friend did. He has been begging his mom to let him wear boxers, but he keeps getting punished.

He seems stuck in this sad and withdrawn state of mind. I periodically ask him what's wrong and he keeps bringing up the boxer shorts thing. It's been about a months now since he turned 13. and me and my sister don't know what to do to get him back to his old self.

My older sister thinks he should respect his mothers wishes. I have asked mom and she has good reasons for not allowing him to wear boxer shorts until he is older . I can't find any real benefits to boxer shorts over briefs. I tried asking him for his reason

I'm not sure what to do.

How do I convince her?

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Albus_Alumni

Hey there @Jack03, this is something I've not been asked before, but I'll do my best to reply and make sense.

Honestly, I think people should be able to wear whatever they feel most comfortable in. Could him being withdrawn be a possible issue at school?

Jack03

Albus_Scope said:

Hey there @Jack03, this is something I've not been asked before, but I'll do my best to reply and make sense.
Honestly, I think people should be able to wear whatever they feel most comfortable in. Could him being withdrawn be a possible issue at school?

I agree I don't think he is withdrawn at school he is not being bullied about wearing them. I am not really sure how I will change my mother.

Jack03

@w oodbine
She says she has good reasons for not allowing him to wear boxer shorts. She told me firstly boxer shorts are more expensive to buy and replace. boxer shorts is underwear for men. A growing teenage boy shouldn't be wearing underwear meant for a fully matured adult man. I think she has seen had boxer shorts sagging by some boys similar age and would prefer not to have that kind of negative social stigma associated with our family. She asked me Do boxer shorts really mean that much to a teenage boy? I am sure. Really hands are tied.

Albus_Alumni

I'm not sure why boxers would be any worse than briefs to be honest? There's less fabric to briefs so boxers would help protect your brother more surely? As long as the trousers are pulled up, I don't see the problem?

poppy123456

I don’t understand what the problem is with allowing him to wear them. My grandson has always only ever wore boxers and he’s just 4 years old.

Kimi87

I think at 13 he is old enough to make his own underwear choices, it's his body after all.
Perhaps Mum might need some coaxing that he is growing up, showing independence is a good thing and making own choices (where appropriate) is part of that?

Jack03

Albus_Scope said:

I'm not sure why boxers would be any worse than briefs to be honest? There's less fabric to briefs so boxers would help protect your brother more surely? As long as the trousers are pulled up, I don't see the problem?

I agree

Jack03

Beaver79 said:

Hi @Jack03 Has your mother said what age he has to be to wear boxer shorts.

16 or 17 don't ask me why keeps asking mom for boxers and now has been punished.

Jack03

poppy123456 said:

I don’t understand what the problem is with allowing him to wear them. My grandson has always only ever wore boxers and he’s just 4 years old.

I don’t understand what the problem either don't ask me why keeps asking mom for boxers and now has been punished

Binky1234

I would say your brother is not too young for boxers both my kids wore them in much younger than 13. My Grandson who is just 3 and getting potty trained is wearing trunks which are similar to boxers.

Maybe your brother wants to wear them due to peer pressure, maybe the majority of his class wears boxers, or maybe most of his friends wear them and he may feel left out.

I would ask him why he wants to wear them so much and go with his answer to your Mom, a 13 year old may find it hard to express his reasoning as to why wanting to wear boxers is so important.

I personally see no reason for your brother not wear boxers.

Maybe your Mom could compromise and allow your brother to wear trunks that are similar to boxers but have the tightness of briefs, just a suggestion.

66Mustang

If it were not for the awful consequences on your brother this would actually be quite funny

Why does the opinion (which seems to be based on no logic or fact) of a third party overrule the pride and self esteem of the actual person involved??

Out of curiosity, was your older sister allowed to wear upper undergarments at a similar age, or did she have to wait for puberty and bodily changes?

Jack03

Binky1234 said:

I would say your brother is not too young for boxers both my kids wore them in much younger than 13. My Grandson who is just 3 and getting potty trained is wearing trunks which are similar to boxers.

Maybe your brother wants to wear them due to peer pressure, maybe the majority of his class wears boxers, or maybe most of his friends wear them and he may feel left out.

I would ask him why he wants to wear them so much and go with his answer to your Mom, a 13 year old may find it hard to express his reasoning as to why wanting to wear boxers is so important.

I personally see no reason for your brother not wear boxers.

Maybe your Mom could compromise and allow your brother to wear trunks that are similar to boxers but have the tightness of briefs, just a suggestion.

I will take your advice and see where it leads

Jack03

66Mustang said:

If it were not for the awful consequences on your brother this would actually be quite funny

Why does the opinion (which seems to be based on no logic or fact) of a third party overrule the pride and self esteem of the actual person involved??

Out of curiosity, was your older sister allowed to wear upper undergarments at a similar age, or did she have to wait for puberty and bodily changes?

I am sure will ask mom but I agree with you

ElBarto

There are a few things here.

Why would you, especially a woman, interfere with a very personal and sensitive choice of a boy who might be uncomfortable even talking about it.

His male body parts are growing and need space.

Wearing loose underwear should be considered more hygienic as there won't be as much chance for sweating - it will be less than in any other type of underwear.

On the negatives:

At 13 he might be not aware that in the next few years he will be experiencing a tsunami of random erections, which is embarrassing or awkward for some people, and could be considered impolite if a boy is seems to encouraging it and showing off.

If he had ADHD he probably moves a lot and can make a sudden move. The risk here is that if he moves awkwardly / unluckily enough he might put a pressure on either, or both, of his testicles in a way that it/they might turn around one of its axis causing a torsion, which is a medical emergency and requires an ambulance call and hospital intervention. The reason why this is so much of an emergency is that when a testicle twists it will be cut off from the blood supply, which is impossibly painful, may lead to necrosis and amputation.

As the bullying at school by his peers should never be a factor for his choice of something as personal and intimate as underwear, neither it should a choice of a woman who does not understand how is it like to be a male with growing male body.

In some countries any attempts to flatted girls' breast when they are growing is considered a child abuse, and criminal. So it should be a no-go for a woman to interfere excessively with underwear type of a growing boy.

WhatThe

I think she has seen had boxer shorts sagging by some boys similar age and would prefer not to have that kind of negative social stigma associated with our family.

I think it's been explained here. There's no mystery.

lauren1234

I have to agree with your mum, I had a similar brief conversation with my son last year, he’s 13 now with ADHD and very active, he asked for boxers, I explained he was a bit young for them and briefs are more suitable for him as he is very active and they will provide the best support.
Is your little brother generally quite active? Maybe your mum is thinking briefs will provide better support for him

rubin16

This reminds me of when I was at school and my parents always bought me briefs (ball stranglers) and I would end up going to P.E and in the changing rooms everyone would laugh at me for having them. Every person there apart from me had boxers and I was 13 at the age. The bullying got so bad that eventually I never went to P.E and ended up getting an E in my final grade for never showing up.

I don't see what the problem is, if he wants to wear boxer shorts you should let him. Not only is it much more comfortable, but he prob won't get bullied at school for having briefs. In a similar way would you not let a girl wear a bra at that age if she needed and asked for one? Why make your son suffer?

p.s I remember those briefs and how uncomfortable they were, those things hurt growing up. Once I got boxers I never wore anything else.

Jack03

@lauren1234

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1036051#Comment_1036051

Jack03

Thank you very much this post is over a year old now he is now 14 in year 9 and he is still wearing briefs/slips my mother brother is very active I know my mother still feels that boxers are a bit mature for him as he is very active and still developing and growing and the briefs/slips will be provide better support until he receives physical maturity between 16-18, out of interest when do you think your son aged 13 is old enough to switch to boxers?

lauren1234

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1036360#Comment_1036360

your mum is 100% spot on, boys that age are still developing and growing and will continue too until they are around 16-18, boxers don’t provide anywhere near the level off support, having ADHD and being hyperactive, briefs will provide the best support. My son hasn’t even mentioned it since we had a brief chat last year, I don’t think he’s too bothered about it. He will wear briefs until 18, he can try them then if he wishes too