My job is making me ill

alwaysworried

Hi all, this is my first post and I am looking for advise.  I feel like I have no one to turn to or get advise from and always everyone thinks I am strong (people always say strongest person I know)- in reality it’s an act as behind closed doors i am lonely, isolated and cry most days.  I alway try give the impression everything is good for the sake of my teenage daughter (I am a single parent with no support or family) both my parents died last year and I have no other family, my sister fell out with my parents 7yrs re ago and cut me out her life as I was still taking to them, she moved to another country and no one has heard from her.  I had to deal with all the funerals myself and sorting out the sale of the family home (which was a council house and didn’t bring me windfalls of money).  My parents died within 6 months of each other but i kept things moving as that’s just what I do.  I was working 1 week after both my parents died as I was saved financially I couldn’t pay bills.  My daughter died 8 years ago and I just feel like death follows me and I only got signed if work after that even though I had to arrange her funeral and it was a big loss. But I just kept moving on and pretending to the world I was strong.  Moving forward to current times I am struggling, I have never been out of work but my current job is very demanding and stressful, it pays well and I keep pushing forward with it but every day I cry.  I feel I have asked for support but no one is listening.  I have reached out to HR and had it all documented.  I have only been in the role 7months and I fear that if I take time off they will just let me go as unfortunately it’s a client facing role and my accounts always need support.  I have never claimed benefit before but at the point I feel I need to leave this line but scared I won’t be able to financially cope and don’t know enough about benefits to ensure I would be ok.  I don’t have a lot of outgoings but still need to cover my costs.  I just feel worried all the time and don’t know what to do. Can any one give advise 

poppy123456

I"m sorry for your loss. If you're entitled to SSP from your employer then you can give fit notes. Your employer must pay SSP if there's entitlement. https://www.gov.uk/statutory-sick-pay/eligibility

Along side this you can look at claiming Universal Credit. (UC)  It's a means tested benefit, whether you qualify will depend on your circumstances. If you have savings/capital of more than £16,000 you're excluded from claiming. 

You can use a benefits calculator to check entitlement.https://www.entitledto.co.uk/benefits-calculator If it shows entitlement then you can report your health condition, supported by a fit note. However, if your earnings are more than 16xNMW/week you will not be referred for a work capability assessment. 

There's also New style ESA but you can't claim this at the same time as SSP. If you do claim it once the SSP ends it will be deducted in full from any UC entitlement. 

There's also council tax reduction which can be claimed from your local Authority. 

Please also note that benefits entitlement doesn't take into consideration the bills you have to pay. Though UC can include help with any rent if you rent your home. 

There's also PIP which is a disability benefit, assuming you're not living in Scotland. It's not automatically awarded based on any diagnosis or the conditions itself. Whether there's any entitlement will depend on how those conditions affect you. More information here. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/sick-or-disabled-people-and-carers/pip/

Albus_Scope

Heya @alwaysworried and welcome to the community.

Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss. Have you been in contact with your GP regarding all of this? Or even bereavement counselling? Sometimes talking about things can be a real boon.
Regarding your work, have you spoken to your boss about any of this? It may be worth asking if they can support you. 

alwaysworried

Hi all, I am based in Scotland and I had one day off last week and literally the work just piled up and all the emails were wait until I come back.  I haven’t really spoken to anyone as I always just seem to keep moving forward and putting in a brave face to everyone.  I am not really good as discussing my personal life and don’t like dumping drama on anyone someone just assume I am always friendly and happy.

my job pays very well but I haven’t been here long and they could easily let me go if I handed a sick line in, so that’s why I was wondering if anyone could help advise what worst case scenario would be.  I do believe the doctor would sign me off as k think my stress levels are making me ill with constant headaches and worry, I do have a policy for income protection that covers sickness but but not sure it would pay out of my job was to let me go as they are already talking about cut backs due to a buy over , so would be the perfect excuse.  

I just want to set a good example to my daughter and keep working. It also aware I am all she has left in the world as her dad hasn’t seen her in over 10 years and lives overseas, and provides no financial support.  My salary would be a big loss but at this stage my health is my concern.

 Thanks for your answers 🥰

wandererexplorer

when it comes to claiming extra of benefits you do not always get it Am on LCW receive no extra money and had carpal tunnel surgery. Many appeal it and their are two stages first to ask for a mandatory reconsideration I did so out of principle  . I lost As I was told WCA are done to protect you from doing what makes it worse but than had to get fit notes till they reached a decided what to put me in it took about at least a year or two received no extra income that was 2022 am still on it . the mandatory reconsideration they put lies on so thought no point in doing the next step going to court it was all very stressful , the system is not always fair and they can use any professional so with me they chose to listen to physio who did not believe she said had carpal tunnel well the specialist did  , the nerve test did and i got surgery as it was . If do not appeal all the way your likely lose  and like me be kept in poverty Good luck , if treated badly you will not be the only one. herd from lady met in work many have to fight system go to court  . mandatory reconsiderations learnt after are not really that their to make u feel no point in continuing to fight   

wandererexplorer

Also carpel tunnel is made worse by typing , and therefore as was signed not fit for work was than made to do more instead of what caused the carpal tunnel or contributed to me having it yet they claim work capability's are to protect you from doing what makes it worse why appealed it , out of principle sorry not encouraging but honest

woodbine

OP have you asked your GP for help with your MH issues ?

alwaysworried

no i am not good with taking medicine and tablets and also too worried to give up work in case I can’t afford bills.  I don’t have any support network to help if everything fails, no mine to ask money from etc.  it all lands on me to provide for my daughter too.  Also scared to start taking pills as I don’t want it to affect my everyday life.  I asked the doctor for pills when I lost my daughter and he gave ne anti depressants but I felt they were making me jittery 

honestjon

alwaysworried said:

Hi all, I am based in Scotland and I had one day off last week and literally the work just piled up and all the emails were wait until I come back.  I haven’t really spoken to anyone as I always just seem to keep moving forward and putting in a brave face to everyone.  I am not really good as discussing my personal life and don’t like dumping drama on anyone someone just assume I am always friendly and happy.

my job pays very well but I haven’t been here long and they could easily let me go if I handed a sick line in, so that’s why I was wondering if anyone could help advise what worst case scenario would be.  I do believe the doctor would sign me off as k think my stress levels are making me ill with constant headaches and worry, I do have a policy for income protection that covers sickness but but not sure it would pay out of my job was to let me go as they are already talking about cut backs due to a buy over , so would be the perfect excuse.  

I just want to set a good example to my daughter and keep working. It also aware I am all she has left in the world as her dad hasn’t seen her in over 10 years and lives overseas, and provides no financial support.  My salary would be a big loss but at this stage my health is my concern.

 Thanks for your answers 🥰

Hi I think the worst case scenario is you pretend everything is ok until you drop.
It sounds like you need some time off work at least so your employer should help you arrange that.
If you want to set a good example to your daughter you should put your health and wellbeing first and make sure you are ok and that is what you are doing by looking for help so I hope you get what you need.

Sandy_123

Hi @alwaysworried a welcome from me too. So sorry for your losses. 
Have you approached your line manager to talk about the stress you are under? Maybe they might have a solution. Have you thought of reducing hours or job sharing, just some ideas.  If you have annual leave left maybe book some time off to breath a little. 

sandybeach

I’m really sorry to hear all you have been going through. Ive gone through similar situation and carried soldiering on until it was all overhwleming for me to cope with work, grief, trauma, everyday life etc.   Grief is tough and is very individual how people cope. I suggest, first you get a sick note from your doctor and tell them how you are feeling and they are likely to prescribe you medication such anti depressants and if you are ok to take them, then i would suggest based on my own  experience i’d take them.  I resisted taking anti depressants for a long time, but when i did eventually take them, life was much better to cope with. It’s not forever and will take a short while to get the benefit, but if you persevere with them, they can help.  It’s personal choice, but it was good for me. Then once you have your sick note give this to your employer. Perhaps take some time out from work and seek counselling. After a few weeks of taking your medication, arrange to have a follow up with your GP who will give you an up to date fit note with suggested alterations for your work to enable you to go back (assuming you are ok to go back). Then once you have submitted your updated fit note with the adjustments, you can ask for a meeting with your employer’s HR and let them know jn writing that you want to come back to work but need reasonable adjustments as per your GPs recommendations. Your employer has a duty of care for you so if your work is also causing you stress, they need to help you with this,  so make sure your fit note also states this (work related stress) as it sounds like that is compounding the issues for you,  It could be you need reduced hours and build back up again, or amend your duties until you are ready to take on more. If you have a trade union, talk to them for support also. Make sure you keep everything in writing and show you still want to work but need the short term solutions from your employer to help. Keep signing into Scope for a friendly chat, we all need it otherwise we wouldn’t be here. I would say don’t stay away from work too long even if its a day a week or a few hours a day until you build back up as the longer you are away it becomes difficult to return. Best of luck! 

alwaysworried

Thanks everyone - your advice is all so appreciated! I think today is the day I have admitted defeat and need to sign off sick- I have realised I am just a number but also worried about financials- as I only get SSP and because it’s been under 2 years they will probably find a way to end my employment!  My health needs to come first and maybe being off sick for a bit will give me some well needed rest x 

sandybeach

You do sound like you need time off, but Just to say, you absolutely don’t need to resign from your work.   Just send in your sick note with work related stress and the other issues that is making you ill from your employer. Everyone is likely to get sick at some point even flu or bad cold.  Your employer can’t just dismiss you even for under 2years employment you will have other rights. When you remain employed they have a duty of care for you and especially when I’ll they have to support you to retain your job and help you return back in the work place when you are ready to do so and work with their occupational health to put in reasonable adjustments for you. When you stay in your job, you have somewhere to go back to when you are ready and you will have an income. Best wishes.