Difficulty making friends when you have autism

Andi66

Do you have trouble with friends and that friendship seems to be one sided.

Recently my ex friend now was vile because I needed space to myself for a few days. She had had a go at me, and I am going through stuff. So I needed time to myself to concentrate on my family as well. And because I didn't reply to her message straight away, she was vile, I am having counselling because of my past, which she doesn't like because I was meeting her a hour later than I used to. . I've listen to her drone on about her moans about her husband and her daughter s Irish dancing steps etc.

But she don't listen to me. She made me cry when she was that vile . I can't be bothered now with people. Tend to stay away from making friends, too difficult

Rosie_Scope

Hi @Andi66, I'm afraid I can't comment on what it's like to make friends when you're autistic, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry your friend upset you and I hope you're doing alright afterwards. It doesn't sound like she was being very understanding or listening to you when you said you needed some space and time. I'm not autistic, but I've had friendships in the past that have felt very one-sided, where the person only contacts you because they want something for themselves. It's not a nice relationship to have and it can be really draining.

I hope you're doing okay after what happened and with everything else you're dealing with, take it easy! We're all here to listen if you need to talk about things ❤️

66Mustang

I would say…

When you've got stuff to offer, everyone is your friend

When you're the one in need, you find out who your true friends are

I think people tend to disappear when problems start, but the ones who remain with you are your real friends

Andi66

Thank you, yes I can see that now.

Kali85

I really struggle with relationships, feels like people just constantly take from me, always feels like double standards what they expect from me I would never even get half back from them, I very rarely get to talk about my problems and I don’t ask them for favours either! I rattle my brain thinking about every last detail of the situation as, I think it has to be me acting a certain way or my brain thinking a certain way, as surely it can’t be everyone else and not me as the same **** keeps happening to me my whole life I have toxic relationships. So I talk over situations with my partner or my mum to see if I am in the wrong in the given situation and it does genuinely seem to be other people, but how is it possible for me to keep attracting selfish people? Do I give to much of myself and because I care too much that i attract these toxic people that drain the life out of me, or is it my autism. I drive myself crazy dissecting every last detail of a situation or argument to try and find ways that I have done wrong

rubin16

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/870961#Comment_870961

I relate so much to this, all my life I have been used and took advantaged of by each friend/partner I have had over the years. I have never been able to keep a relationship going as I always seem to attract the same people who tend to just use me.

OverlyAnxious

Keeping away from people is all well and good while you can still manage independently.

If you end up unable to manage physically & practically and have no-one left to help in the real world, life becomes very difficult. No amount of 'online support' is any use there.

Kali85

I am so glad it is not just me that has this problem with relationships with people. I drive myself crazy thinking of every last detail

FallOutBoyfan99

I completely relate to how you feel, Andi. I think I may be Autistic and I have virtually no friends and have always struggled to make them.

DJS7P

I've never been good at making or keeping friends, I'm usually very cautious around people if I don't know them well

I am usually avoidant of other people, I've had a lot of bad experiences in the past