Having PIP while caring for my partner

Confused87

Good Evening,

I have searched extensively online and I cannot find a definitive answer for my queries, I have seen that this forum is very informative and wanted to try to see if anyone could help me understand how it works. I apologise in advance for the long post.

My situation is a bit complicated but here it is:

I became a carer for my partner (we live separately) in 2021. She is Autistic and struggles with both daily activities and leaving the house. She got enhanced daily living and mobility, got a motability car that I use to take her to the doctors or sometimes just out to get some fresh air in a secluded area (we both get anxious in crowded spaces).

I am undiagnosed ADHD and have PTSD due to being deadly wounded a few months before Covid. I have been a miracle survivor and since then I have been terrified of being around people.

I have frequent anger outbursts, that has been the case before what happened to me, but now it has become uncontrollable. For this reason, my partner and I cannot live together.

I see her once a week. Used to be more frequently, but as I cannot go to her house alone due to my conditions. My relatives take me to her house and I feel a burden to ask them all the time, so we just agreed with them taking me on a Friday night and picking me up on Sunday. Then if she needs has an hospital appointment, I will ask my relatives to take me on those days instead of the weekend, to avoid being too needy. As I don't have a car myself, they would take me to her house, and I would take her motability car to accompany her to the hospital.

We have similar difficulties, we both need prompting eating (in my case, my mum brings me frozen meals frequently, in my partner's case, I prompt her to eat if I am there, or remotely do so as we are in constant contact via text or video chat). We both struggle getting motivation to wash and dresses, making budgeting decisions and engaging with people. We prompt each other (or at least she tries, but most times it's just me prompting her) because somehow it's easier to do so for the other person, than doing it for ourselves.

For example, I forget to eat or am in a very low mood to do so, but don't want my partner to starve so I always make sure she eats, or push her to do so. Some days I am okay doing phone calls for her, because it is not directly about me so I don't get as anxious as I would get about my things (for example a doctor's appointment). I don't know why my brain works this way, it's like a defect I cannot get rid of.

I got PIP myself last year and I explained my situation to DWP and they have awarded me with Enhanced daily but no Mobility. I cannot leave my house on my own, constantly relying on others, even when using my partner's motability car, I need to have her with me because driving alone causes me anxiety, I start thinking about things like 'what is the car breaks down and I need to deal with assistance by myself?', 'what if someone attacks me?' (it happened in 2020, some junkie started to scream and knock at the driver's seat, left me feel trapped and had a panic attack).

I am considering a mandatory reconsideration for the Mobility part, but I wonder if they are going to argue that I am a carer and therefore cannot get it? Any advice please? I know my situation is complicated but any help would be really appreciated. During COVID, the guideline said remote caring was eligible but now I cannot find anything that says that so I am not sure if I count as a carer for them, even though I am constantly prompting my partner even if it drains me and struggle to help my own self.

Jimm_Alumni

Hi @Confused87, they will likely argue whatever they can do not grant a higher award. After the MR you then have a tribunal appeal. You can read more about the further appeal process here: https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/challenging-pip-or-other-benefits-decisions#Stages-of-the-appeal-process-click

Regarding remote caring I'm afraid I am not very knowledgeable there. I can try to search myself to see if anything comes up.

Can I ask if you have received any help or referrals for your own conditions? I understand if you'd rather not answer that and focus purely on PIP though.

Confused87

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/873904#Comment_873904

Apologies for the late reply and thank you for reading my post.

I have been having phone appointments with several people from CMHT but due to lack of staff, I am left 3-4 months on hold during staff changes, which has not helped at all. Being left alone for months, then having to restart with yet another person, is exhausting. I have decided to get a private diagnose (not for ADHD, I cannot afford that unfortunately and barely afforded this session) since the GP has never thought of doing that all these years, and instead just filled me with medication that does nothing but cause nausea. I had my session just last week and the therapist confirmed PTSD and also that pills are not going to help me with my intrusive thoughts and nightmares. She sent a letter to my GP and hopefully I will be referred somewhere that can help me, but it will take time and if I manage to get the full amount I could start implementing private sessions while waiting for my turn on the waiting list. This letter would also help with a MR hopefully.

Confused87

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/873904#Comment_873904

Hi Jimm, sorry to bother you. I just wanted to check if you find anything, thank you.

poppy123456

There's lots of people that care for others while claiming both parts of PIP, myself included. My caring duties for my daughter do not contradict the reasons why I claim both parts. I have physical conditions and my caring duties are not physical.

You said the decision on your PIP award was made last year. If it's less than 13 months ago then you are still within the timescale to request the MR but you will need to give a reason why you didn't request it within the first month. Do be aware that they will only look at how your conditions were at the time the assessment took place. Any worsening of condition will not be taken into consideration.

If it was more than 13 months ago then you are out of time to challenge that decision. In this case you could report a change of circumstances for a worsening of condition. You will be sent more forms to fill in and return and another assessment is most likely. Once a decision is made your award could either remain the same, be increased, decreased or even stopped completely.

Whether it's possible to score 12 points for following and planning a journey will depend on how often you're able to go out. If on the majority of the days (at least 50% of the days in a 12 month period) you're unable to leave the house due to overwhelming psychological distress (OPD) then you would not be able to score 12 points for that descriptor. It would be activity 1E which is 10 points.