Smile 😁

66Mustang

I was in the supermarket yesterday and was just looking around

I try not to look people in the eye because I often think they will think badly of me but it does happen sometimes. Normally when I catch someone's eyes they seem to frown or scowl (in my mind, anyway) but yesterday when I was glancing around I looked somebody in the eye for half a second and they smiled at me

I don't usually know how to react to interactions with strangers, even non-verbal ones, but I automatically smiled back without even thinking about it

I don't really know my point to writing this, but it made me feel a bit brighter for a while afterwards so I think I'm trying to say that I think smiling is infectious and if you try to smile at people instead of frowning at them (I'm probably guilty of this) perhaps it will brighten someone's day a bit 😊

Albus_Scope

I think the world needs more people smiling at each other. 😁

Though as an autistic person with the classic eye contact aversion, I can find it tough, but I always try to do a nervous smile or a mumbled "hi" if someone looks my way. It costs nothing and can really make someone's day. 😊

Sandy_123

I do smile if people are looking at me, probably wandering if I'm human lol. I do interact a lot with strangers and because I'm tall I get asked to reach something off the top shelf.

66Mustang

@Albus_Scope

I'm always happy to return a "hi" or a smile but one thing I'm scared of is doing it first and then being met with unfriendliness

I don't really know what I'm scared of, the only thing I can put it down to is I have an OCD-like sense of justice, particularly when it comes to insignificant things, and if I give someone a courtesy and am met with unfriendliness it seems unjust in my mind, like I should have saved the friendliness for someone else…Not that that makes sense because as you say it costs nothing so you don't have to ration it, you can smile at everyone 🤔

I wonder though how many people are thinking something similar?? People who are usually unfriendly, might actually be friendly if I started things off with a smile/hello??

Jimm_Scope

I was having a pretty bad day the other week, but dragged myself out to my local bookstore to find something to cheer me up.

Usually I'm not a massive fan of people coming up to me and having a chat when I'm having a bad day, but I got complimented on my t-shirt in two separate instances and it really improved my mood. I paid for going out later in the day once I got home but it was worth it.

Makes me think if I should give compliments when I like someone's outfit, but my mind always goes "they probably don't want to be bothered"

66Mustang

@Jimm_Scope

I think when you have a unique compliment that couldn't be interpreted as a generic "you look nice" or something (whether it was intended as a generic compliment or not) then people usually seem grateful for them

Often when I am at car shows people aren't overly fussed if someone says their car looks "nice" or "fast" as that can be interpreted as a veiled reference to how expensive it is, but if you say something like you like certain aspect of it then people seem a lot more grateful … I think maybe the same could go for appearance as well, so if you are complimenting a specific part of someone's appearance then it could have more meaning

I'm not saying that's at all fact, but it's just my interpretation and experience 😊

Jimm_Scope

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/875099#Comment_875099

Yeah, I agree. For me it's about complimenting choices people make than about things that are inherent about them.

So like, complimenting someone's eyes is a no-go, but complimenting the clothes they've chosen to wear etc. is much nicer. It certainly depends on the person of course. An interesting one about the cars! I don't know much about the car enthusiast culture so it's a cool insight.

Lou67

@66Mustang

I’m glad you had that interaction in the supermarket it’s nice to acknowledge someone I think.
I always trying say good morning or give a smile to someone passing as i might be the only person that interacts with that person that day, so hopefully in doing so it makes them smile even if it’s in the inside.

❤️

rubin16

I also tend to avoid eye contact, but on some occasions I have had special moments with people. For example I was walking down the street once and a beautiful women was looking at me and then when I looked she smiled and I smiled back and just carried on walking. To this day I still regret not doing anything or saying something. But i'm not that brave enough for that. I am very shy and don't really know how to approach people in those situations. also didn't want to come across as a creep or anything haha

Albus_Scope

I know those situations well @rubin16 I try not to dwell on them and just go with "Well, we both smiled at each, so that was nice" and carry on. I'm very shy too, so often a smile is a huge thing!

Steve_in_The_City

I think smiling is a great ice breaker. I am not autistic so direct eye contact doesn't worry me, but socially I am painfully shy and withdrawn. However, no-one knows because I have learnt how to cover it up. I've had to. People smile at me all the time; I smile right back. Then people break into conversation with me and I get to meet all sorts of people. So for me smiling is a really positive thing. I sometimes smile first and I've never had a negative response. I think people do respond to a smile. It does brighten the day and you never know how blue someone may be when you share a smile or a kind word and how much better it can make them feel. I know this through personal experience. When my partner died I was totally lost, but I am adept at hiding my emotions, so no-one knew. I made sure that I never looked sad. But when out and about people would smile at me and say nice things and it made me feel a whole lot better.

Jimm_Scope

I do often think about trying to smile more, but it's the remembering at the moment to do so. I get too easily distracted sometimes while walking about in public. The comments about my shirt the other day though have me thinking I should try to be complimentary to people more, it made me feel better on a day that was going quite poorly. I'd like to try and do that for others too.

66Mustang

I think being randomly nice to people for no real reason is one of those things where it costs you far less than the "value" that the other person receives, so it seems like a no brainer really!!!

66Mustang

Well after not noticing this for ages the same thing happened again yesterday, like less than a week after it happened the first time!!!

What's more, the first time it happened it was like a friendly looking older lady, this time it was a younger man with a beard which I found surprising. I won't go into all my gender issues and stuff but I will just say I'm a bit wary of aggressive looking people (doesn't mean they actually are aggressive) and this kind of made my day in a silly way and reminded me not to go by my prejudices