UC50, Does it impact your mental health?

Wonderman

Hey all.

I've been dreading signing this UC50 form and I've been on edge not because I'm worried about being seen as fit for work, but because I have to write down and think about all the things I hate about myself. The things I burry deep and don't want to think about. People always tell me " it's who I am, there's nothing wrong with me", "I have this problem". Sorry but it doesn't help. I'm deciding whether to buy a bottle of wine and get drunk tonight which I'll admit is becoming my first thought each time things get too much. I know it's my own insecurities but constantly being told in school, by my parents and employers "It's not good enough" or being blamed for things that literally are impossible to be your fault, it's like now I'm trying so hard to do things I struggle so hard to do and not even qualified to do only for the fear of hearing "It's not good enough" instead of "You did your best, that's all anyone can ask for" When I drink I always feel so confident, I feel what I believe to be my real self or the version of me I actually like and want to be, I can now drink quite allot and get that effect without feeling too drunk. I can still walk fine, still stand... It's like with alcohol I feel so great. The only problem I do have is when I start I don't know or want to stop.

Funny, writing things down does actually help, me writing this has made me feel a whole lot better.

Just a bit of a vent.

Adrian_Scope

Hi @Wonderman, thank you for sharing how you’re feeling. It’s really brave of you to open up about your struggles. Writing things down can be really therapeutic, so keep reaching out! 😊

It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot right now, and it’s understandable that filling out the UC50 form is bringing up difficult emotions. It’s also tough when past experiences affect how we feel about ourselves.

If you’re finding that alcohol is becoming a frequent way to cope, it might be helpful to talk to someone about it. There are people who can help, like your GP or support services such as Alcohol Change UK and Drinkaware.

For immediate support with your mental health, you can contact Samaritans at 116 123 or Mind at 0300 123 3393. Both are there to listen and provide help.