Giving up

Bar

I have my physical disabilities and also live alone with a 12.5 year old daughter and a dog. I'm fighting with my daughter's school as during court with her father, the judge decided she should remain in a school 19 miles away. I can't sort out Parent Pay for her to be able to eat properly in school, systems, systems, systems. I'm struggling with OT and Physio, systems: no one answers the phone and I am fighting like heck to at least walk a bit. Waiting and waiting for OT to help with some things and I just want out. I've always looked after myself and my own, depended on no one………….. all I want is not further damage to my legs and my back and my upper body. I don't care about being Autistic or having ADHD, that's just my unique brain. But physically……… I know the NHS is over burdened but that is down to the government. But I am out here in Wales, on my own, with nothing. I even tried to find anyone whom might take us out in the car, just to a beach….. £18 an hour plus 45p per mile of petrol. Should I let my child go naked or with a not up to date uniform as they only allow the uniform to come from ONE shop, yup 19 miles away……….. I'm trying to do things, doing a Masters on line but I struggle mentally and am behind, not coping……. supposed to have a new lap top with specialist software…… what turns up, some small thing I virtually can't see and am too afraid to even turn on……. and a ton of emails with CODES I am supposed to work out.

Had enough absolutely.

So very tired.

Physio, I just need a new brace for my leg and something to support what is left of my back…… nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, it's all these self referral forms, people not answering the phone……… I'm just going to try and buy what I need, perhaps it wont be good, perhaps it will… I don't know but the stress all this is causing is simply not worth it…. it's making me ill.

Yours independently

Bar

Rosie_Scope

Sorry to hear you're so stressed out @Bar, that all sounds very overwhelming. We're going to pop you an email today, please look out for that.

As Biblio mentioned, could your daughter's father help support some of the admin for school like uniforms and dinners? Then it wouldn't all be on you. I'd understand if that's not an option for you though, it's not always that simple.

Is your university supportive at all? I know you said that you received specialist software, but could they offer any more support with how to use the equipment or perhaps even provide a better option if what you've got isn't suitable?

I hope things start feeling easier for you soon.

ITSALLLIES

Don't worry, be happy!! doo du do dadooh dadoo. Hosestly go and get some the happy stuff and just do ya best it's enough please excuse the silly nonchalant pre music singing.

Laugh or you'll cry scream or be silent the end result is the same. Get your finest pencil out sharpen it to a fine spear like point & a rubber and lots of paper, sound like you have a few letters to write.

Don't give up hope reach out locally maybe Gumtree for some potential donations.

Bar

Hi all, thank you for your good words. In answer to some, nope the school shop is not on line, nope, there will be no help form her father, we don't speak AT ALL…. he has all the uniform I bought when I could get a lift to the shop, none of it ever comes back and I am not buying more. University, well, to be honest, it's pure chaos. And as I said…… I will buy the back brace and ankle foot support thing myself….. I'm just not going through hoops of banality and ignorance anymore, it makes you ill. And finally no, there is no support workers or anything here. and the last one…. I have really dark humour and always find things to laugh. I'm a singer/songwriter and a writer………. I know where to put myself……… I'm fighting and Wales is a disgrace but I am also my own worst enemy……. I am juggling, I'll find a way but it's nice to have a space to blow out the air we keep inside out lungs and shout……….. for GAWD's SAKE….. which means nothing as I have religion! You tackle one day at a time, you learn to prioritise jobs/work in the house…. forms, study, getting out…. you just do it day by day but sometimes………… it makes you scream!

Warmest wishes, humour and sincerity to everyone :)

Bar