Teenage asd son and wanting more independence

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dollydoo76

please help, I’m

So lost and not a clue what to do, my son has asd and since his become a teenager and noticing his younger cousins are going out with friends, he wants to know why he can’t go out. My son is very ditsy and very easily distracted, he looks a lot older than he acts. But he wants to know why I won’t let him out independently. I have tried to explain that you have no road sense, and could be distracted and get knocked over, as well as getting into potential fights?he said to me you don’t let me out because I have autism? It’s partly true but I don’t think he has enough common sense to be independent? Additionally I have a spinal

Injury so I’m also restricted on what I can do and where I take him. Please tell me I’m not the only one? I feel so guilty but I’m so scared of the repercussions if I do let him out

Any advice will be gratefully received ❤️

Doris_Scope

Hi @dollydoo76

A warm welcome to our online community. My name is Doris and I am a family services advisor for Scope.

I can understand how worried you are allowing your teenage son to be out and about. Especially with the difficulties that he may have with safety and danger.

I can also imagine how your son must feel, seeing his cousins out with their friends. Especially if they are younger than him.

To reassure you, you are not the only parent with these worries. Giving independence to a vulnerable child can be one of the hardest things to do.

There is a good document that you might find useful called "Life Journey Through Autism: A Guide to Safety". It is a long document but has useful information about risks, safety and how to address them.

You can also look on the https://www.autism.org.uk/ website to see if there are any local branches near you. They may also be able to give you some good advice.

Another good web page to explore is https://raisingchildren.net.au/autism/development/social-emotional-development/going-out-independently-autistic-teenagers It gives some great tips with strategies.

It is good to have an open and honest conversation with your son. This way you can explain your worries to him. You can then discuss boundaries that let him have a little more independence.

I hope that this information helps in some way. I am sure that you will also get some great advice from other parents in the community.