Struggling a lot lately

wreckacowboy

I've been struggling mentally for a while now and I feel like my coping skills aren't helping anymore.

I'm in constant stress and I'm always exhausted. I'm starting to fall asleep halfway through meals because my sleeping is just getting worse and worse, and my throat physically feels like it's closing up with how close I am to sobbing.

I know my mum has it worse because she has so much to deal with, but I feel like I can't cope anymore. I picked up so much extra work that I'm struggling with it. I feel like I'm always on the verge of tears and every day I'm doing things just to catch a break outside of my home. I even picked up exercise when all it does is put me in more pain, just so I have an excuse to leave the house.

My head feels like its about to burst from it all too. There's constant noise. If it's not my mum's partner's TV being so high I can hear the director's breathing, it's my mum constant requests. I can't find a single place in my home where I can listen to things at a volume I can deal with. It hurts me so much (sensory overload).

I can't cope anymore. I can't keep doing this but I can't exactly stop it. My mum needs help taking care of her partner and her partner is hard of hearing so I can't just tell him to turn the TV down because then he can't hear it and that's cruel (i.m.o). I feel I can't express my discomfort without my mum bringing up how she's inconvienced all the time and is able to push through it without complaints like I'm not trying my hardest to push through it myself. I'm so tired, sore, stressed and feel like I'm completely on my own, and I feel like I'm just adding to my mum's stress for being unable to help.

I guess, any tips will help? Or if you feel comfortable, some similars stories will help ease the loneliness of struggling will also help /nf (not forcing)

Jimm_Alumni

Hey @wreckacowboy, I'll be sending you an email in a bit, please do look out for it!

Reading through your post the thing that stands out to me is, despite all that is going on, how much you care for your mum. I think though, seeing all the emotions and struggles you are going through, you need to start thinking of yourself. I've not been in a situation exactly like yours, but I've been in places where I've put myself in a detrimental position just to try and help someone else. It took me a long time to realise that, to help others more I do need to put myself first sometimes. As hard as that can be.