International Joke Day! Tell us your favourite silly jokes!

Rosie_Scope
Rosie_Scope Posts: 4,753 Scope Online Community Coordinator
in Coffee lounge

It's International Joke Day!

It's July 1st and that means it's International Joke Day! It's a day dedicated to making each other laugh and sharing the silliest jokes you can come up with. Which sounds like a really good excuse for me to dig out all the terrible jokes that I've been inflicting on the people around me for quite some time.

Here's just a few that make me chuckle:

Two wind turbines in a field, one turns to the other and says: "So what kind of music are you into?"
The other looks down for a second. "Well, I'm a big metal fan."

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a horse?
Mascarpone.

What's the difference between people from Abu Dhabi and people from Dubai?
People from Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but people from Abu Dhabi do.

Why do lobsters never share their food?
Because they're shellfish.

And one of my favourites:
Why did the baker have smelly hands?
He kneaded a poo.

Over to you! Just remember to keep it clean and kind please, we're a respectable establishment 😁

What are your favourite silly jokes?

Comments

  • onedayatatime
    onedayatatime Online Community Member Posts: 222 Empowering

    What do you call a lady with egg and bacon on her head?......Kath.

    What do you call a lady with a chimney on her head?.…Ruth

    Terrible, I know 👍😂

  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 4,753 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    The most terrible jokes are the best jokes @onedayatatime 😁

    What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but its flag is a big plus!

  • Teigr
    Teigr Online Community Member Posts: 4,677 Championing

    My dog's just blown up his kennel.

    He's a Yorkshire terrorist.

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 14,992 Championing

    My job coach asked me if I was interested in voluntary work

    I said I wouldn't even do it if they paid me

  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 4,753 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Those are good ones @Teigr and @66Mustang!

    How does a penguin fix his house?

    Igloos it!

  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 8,629 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    What’s the best way to watch a fishing show? Live stream.

    Why don't zombies eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

    My boss told me to have a good day. So, I didn’t go to work. (This is both a lie AND a terrible joke)

    I'll get my coat…

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 14,992 Championing

    My neighbour worships his car's exhaust pipe

    I think he's a Catholic converter

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 1,651 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    I'm loving this discussion. Dad jokes are the best! Here's one from me…

    I was taking the motorway out of London. A police officer pulled me over and said, 'Put it back'

    😂

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 14,992 Championing

    Another driving one

    I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over

  • Binky1234
    Binky1234 Online Community Member Posts: 453 Empowering

    How to annoy Lady gaga

    Poke her face.

  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 8,629 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    I'm surprised no one has posted the greatest joke of all time yet!

    What's brown and sticky? A stick.

  • vikingqueen
    vikingqueen Scope Member Posts: 1,721 Championing

    What do you call a deer with no eyes…. No idea

    And what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs….Still no idea

    😉

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 14,992 Championing

    People say that firefighters deserve a higher salary but apparently a poll was taken and they all fell through a hole in the floor

    I once had to give a presentation at a fertility clinic. I was nervous but I ended up getting a standing ovulation

    People keep asking to join my sarcastic club but I can’t tell if they’re being honest

    😬

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