Why do I keep having problems or issues with my mum only ?

Katiedimelow20

Hello. I always had problems or issues with me .no matter what I'm doing. Kept doing thing that can overwhelm me or just get me angry and yet go to silent treatment. Doesn't even listen to me at all and talk that get very much wrong. I don't think some of my friends might not help . I can't go out myself but is has be trusted adult or just my mum. I do express my feelings and doesn't seem to get stuck in her own brain. Kept doing the same thing . I just want a break from my mum. Similar issues with dating since I can only date men with a moderate learning disabilities. I'm doing okay and I'm not going tak to my mum today .

Rosie_Scope

Hi @Katiedimelow20, sorry to hear you're still having trouble with your mum. That sounds really frustrating. Do you have somewhere in your house like your bedroom where you can go to chill out without your mum there?

Do your sisters live nearby? Could you perhaps ask to stay with them for a couple of days just to have a quick break?

Mencap have a helpline for people with learning disabilities, if that's something you'd find helpful. You can call them, email them, or use the online form, they might be able to offer you some more advice on things to try or other ways to get support 😊

Katiedimelow20

@Rosie_Scope nope I don't have any sister closed to me . Part from one but don't get along to . my mum will refuse anything about support for me and has be on her term or none .my mum thinks some thing with my hormones. I'm taking break from birth control pill. To see what happens .is not being good start.

Rosie_Scope

Sorry to hear that @Katiedimelow20, that's a really difficult situation. It can be tough coming off birth control and dealing with hormonal changes too. I hope you're feeling more settled soon.

Does your mum check your emails? I only ask because Mencap's helpline have an email address that you could message if you wanted to. As you are an adult, I don't think they would tell your mum that you've asked for advice unless you gave them permission. The address is helpline@mencap.org.uk if you'd like to email them.

Rachel_Scope

Hi @Katiedimelow20 😊

Just wanted to check-in to see how you're doing? As @Rosie_Scope said, it's difficult to come off birth control so be kind to yourself. Are you doing any self-care?

Katiedimelow20

@Rachel_Scope not sure about self care but trying to stay away from my mum since my mum seem to always overwhelm and seem angry to me . doesn't seem to listen and still find way to get near me .

Katiedimelow20

@Rosie_Scope sometimes my mum checks my email to and as well of Facebook and other social media to . always comes with me when to any type of social events . try to stay away from my mum when at home . doesn't work .

Rachel_Scope

I think that's a good idea if she affects you so negatively. Do you have any interests or hobbies? I love listening to music when I'm feeling down or anxious.

Did you reach out to Mencap as @Rosie_Scope suggested?

Katiedimelow20

@Rachel_Scope not many hobbies that are from outside . my mum will comes with me when come social events. some hobbies is gaming in the house . my mum still try and kept taking and kept reminding me about stuff . about being clean and kept reminding about having a shower . I only see my mum as angry and can't get her stop to go in my bedroom or don't know . nope i'm not reach out to Mencap. i know my mum is one of problem .

Rachel_Scope

What kind of games do you play? I find playing games a great escape from the world sometimes 😊

That's ok about not contacting Mencap. I'd like to try and help you find some help though. How long have you had a difficult relationship with your Mum? Is there anything more that you'd like to share about your Mum or anything else that we could help with? You're welcome to share as little or as much as you're comfortable with.

Katiedimelow20

@Rachel_Scope . i can't remember but i think after going through puberty and always was emotional around my mum and started more after i been from move from one college and to another college and did talk some member staff at college about some issue that were going on . then had i went on birth control to help control my horme and make my period more regular but i didn't felt good and felt more anxiety and just felt that i was meh and wasn't attracted to any guys . then my yonger sister when through werid moods and also to annoyed me . is to do with more dating and my mum thinks i can't thinks for my own self and kept trying to guide me my mum. Always want me to stop talking when i was about to talk a certain and just go silents treatment . last thing my mum said i can't deal with your emotional and your staying at home . i'm not always liked that . just my mum makes me annoyed at her . has stepped on my feet to . when comes to showing my mum is always with me to . i can't even say anything about it . my mum went through the menopause

Rachel_Scope

Thanks for sharing that 😊

It sounds really tough to deal with. Have you considered speaking to someone, such as a counsellor or your GP? I waited years to speak to a professional about my feelings but it changed my life when I did.

Maybe join in on the other discussions around the forum? It could help take your mind off things for a while.

Katiedimelow20

Rachel my mum also come with when comes gp to . i had tried therapy more then one . i'm not sure about counsellor  since my mum will always come with me .

Rachel_Scope

You have the right to see a counsellor/GP on your own. Are you able to make a phone call privately or send an email without your Mum being aware? Just thinking you could contact your GP and explain your situation and that you want to be seen alone but that your Mum insists on attending, then they could hopefully help.

Katiedimelow20

@Rachel_Scope nope i can't make my own phone calls without my mum being aware . same with issue with dating . i had to hide my laptop screen from my mum to not find out . then get anoyied at me .

Rachel_Scope

You're able to post on here so I think emailing your GP would be good. Then your Mum won't know. Explain your situation, be honest, and see what advice they give you. I email my GP often and they always reply 😊

Katiedimelow20

Rachel_Scope I don't know what my gp email is and my mum is control my appointment . i can able tp post her since i been hiding it and only let certain word out . o can't cook or feed my self . my mum think that i can't control my emotional and doesn't seem to get it . that i want to be more independent but can't. did let dad know about the isuse but that just backfield even worst . after covid had more issue . was on birth control pilll and didn't feel like my self was always meh or had lots of anxiey then did without it .

Rachel_Scope

Google your doctors surgery name and they should have the email address under their contact information.

Katiedimelow20

is only have telephone and not sure if does has email address . went to two different surgery

Albus_Scope

Heya @Katiedimelow20 I've popped you a quick email, please be on the look out for it. 😊

Katiedimelow20

@Albus_Scopeyep i had got the email from you