end of the line with current job but no idea what to do

lostbutsearching

I'm 40 and currently hate the job I've had now for almost 7 years. The first five years were fine but then I've had to endure a new and awful boss in the past year and a half which has made life extremely difficult and depressing. I've just been assigned to very meaningless tasks and relatively basic admin work. My job was never that high level but this boss is micro managing, obsessed with minor details, never stops working, poor communicator, occasionally scapegoats me and far too corporate minded. As a result, after he started, two long standing employees who had been there for 50 years combined, couldn’t tolerate him and left because fortunately, their circumstances allowed it and that then left only me from the original team. Worth noting that they were both were stressed out by his behaviour and one had regular meetings with our old boss to deal with it and the other raised a grievance to our board but that was ignored.

Every “project” that I’ve been given to manage, he needs to take over at some point. In his first few months, he was extremely pedantic over minor issues from slight typos, the odd grammatical mistake, forgetting a few minor items/things, misspelling someone’s name once e.g.

He’ll go on annual leave but then work every single day still, he’ll off sick but still take work calls in bed! Works 12 hour days, and I’ll receive emails from him even on evenings and Sundays, As a result you can imagine the draining nature of constantly being around a perfectionist and wanting to get everything right all the time and therefore not accepting of minor mistakes. Every task, every event, every email is like a military like task for him, as if we are heading out to battle. It is insufferable and too intense.

To give you one recent example, I am organising this event in its initial stages and he calls me up out of the blue and expects me to reel off the agenda and know everything off the top of my head when he knew that there only a few confirmations. Another example, some time ago I was planning an event, made all the arrangements, arrived and set the room up on time but the person chairing the meeting was arriving way later than expected. He was running late too and then phones me up and when I mentioned the chair of the meeting was getting late, he kicked off and said it was unprofessional etc. when if it weren’t for me the meeting would not have even started on time and I stepped in to chair it instead with minimal preparation.

I’ve looked up micromanaging bosses and traits, and clearly this guy fits the bill and I’ve looked up signs of workplace bullying and I would say what I’m experiencing is borderline bullying, according to this page here? –

He doesn’t personally insult, or shout or make snide remarks or threaten me, so it’s not that explicit in that sense but there are at least 4 here that apply I would say –

“Creating unrealistic or unattainable expectations or constantly shifting expectations to ensure failure

Unfairly criticizing people's work to hurt the other person's self-esteem

Emotionally manipulating people by using shame or guilt to cause feelings of inadequacy, undue responsibility, or unworthiness

Undermining someone's work to hamper their progress or ability to succeed.”

You can imagine what this has done for my confidence, morale and overall outlook on life. There are times when certain things have happened on a Friday and it’s ruined the weekend for me as a result. Life is too short for this and I can’t even talk to any of the 2 staff members about this. We’re a very small team. I have no one to talk to about what’s going on here, hence why I’m on here.

I've never had a clue what to do with my life and perhaps I never will but I just need to get out of my current situation for now. At the same time I can't just quit, as I have mortgage and I can’t just live off my savings. I need something to move onto but I have no vocational qualifications. The only other option is starting a business I guess but have zero business skills or knowledge. I’m really feeling lost. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-the-effects-of-workplace-bullying-460628

lostbutsearching

The page link was right at the bottom…

66Mustang

It sounds a bit psychopathic to me

The traits you mention I think are actually quite common in people in management or higher positions

I remember reading a while ago about a study that was done and if taking a sample from the general population, a certain percentage of them will show signs of psychopathy, but if you take a sample of just managers and executives and things, a much higher percentage, not like 10% higher but as in several hundred percent higher, of that group will show psychopathic tendency

It's not that people actively seek out psychopaths and make them managers on purpose… it's just that the approach psychopaths have to life tends to get them quite far in the world of business/management and such where success is all about claiming others' successes as your own and passing your mistakes onto others and stuff

Adrian_Scope

Hey @lostbutsearching, it sounds incredibly tough to deal with and difficult working conditions are often much more than personal insults — the behaviour is clearly making your job unbearable, and it’s taking a toll on your well-being.

ACAS can offer advice on handling workplace issues, or you could also try EASS. While financial pressure makes quitting difficult, it's worth taking the first steps towards finding something new by updating your CV at least.

Experience and knowledge aside, do you have ideas for what you would do if you started a new business?