My sister is being horrible

sparkleapril

Morning, I feel abit upset today.

One of my sister's is getting married at end of August. I was really looking forward to being her best woman and her beautiful wedding and before I got ill I told her I was really happy for her last year.

But from last year I lost all my independent and became ill suffering with sezuires that put me in a wheelchair. Hemiplegic migraines and FND my brain isn't working properly anymore it sends wrong signals.

On top on that I was suffering domestic abuse and became pregnant and I ended that relationship the beginning of this year, I had to get the police had to get involved.

I am due my baby a week before her wedding and cause my situation as changed so much last year when she asked me I have told her I won't be at her wedding.

My sister has said horrible things, and called me names , because how can I travel with a new baby in a wheelchair with 3 other children in a 5 hour journey and not a 100% my self?

My sister has stressed at me to give her money towards the wedding, stressed about me not going or who's not going, told me my baby will be born small and hope I have early so I can make her wedding, called me jealous of her getting married and that it's not all about me and baby. Even travelled pass my home to buy a new pet and didn't visit me.

My sister knows about my illness and knows I can't be stressing. She hasn't been supportive while I have been pregnant saying she was getting married first and I got pregnant after her plans.

How would you respond to this?

sparkleapril

Thank you @Teddybear123 just upset how my sister has been towards me. I am really excited about baby and can't wait. Just thought my sister be more supportive. I haven't fell out with her, but blocked her for this moment in time.

Rachel_Scope

HI @sparkleapril. Sorry you're still having issues with your sister. Has blocking her eased your stress a bit?

sparkleapril

Afternoon @Rachel_Scope ,

Not really my face has dropped again and my feet crawled in.

But I think it was better to block her at the moment, my aunt's and other sister told me to block her because I can't be under any stress. It makes my condition worse.

https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/brain-nerves-and-spinal-cord/functional-neurological-disorder/

sparkleapril

My brain just shuts down now to any form of stress.

I will be ok in a few days my feet and face will go back.

Just keeping busy to day with my son, he is happy playing in the garden with water balls.

My daughters with thier nana so got a little break, early night will do me good.

My best friend is gonna come down to check on me soon.

Rachel_Scope

It seems like blocking was a good idea. Focus on yourself, your children, and the positive people around you 😊

I bet your son is having a great time outside in the sun. I hope you have a lovely time with your best friend.

Binky1234

@sparkleapril

I'm so sorry that your sister is having such a negative impact on you!

No-one has the right to cause distress in others through negative words and actions, even family members are not given a green card to do so, and it is wrong.

Please remember you are not at fault, no matter how hard your sister tries to convince you otherwise.

My advise would be in the future when your sister is stressing you out is:

Try and stay positive, put your needs first this is not selfish but it is essential especially when your making a little human being and that's a wonderful news. Congratulations btw.

Don't try and defend yourself to her, there is no need to.

Don’t argue with her, don't give her the fuel to be more negative towards you.

Don't get drawn in, no matter how tempting this may be, make your excuses that you need to go (the potatoes are boiling over, the bath is getting cold, someone at the door) anything to give yourself a get out clause.

I do understand your upset but please don't blame yourself, don't feel guilty by doing what is best for you.

Take care ❤️

sparkleapril

Thank you Rachel, I feel really guilty for blocking my sister but I feel she won't stop her nasty comments.

My son loved playing water outside in the garden yesterday.

It was nice to see my best friend yesterday for a catch up.

I do miss my family in Scotland, I was always going to travel to see them, only my cousin has visited me since last year.

It hurts alot my family haven't really bothered, I was always there for them before I got ill.

@Rachel_Scope

sparkleapril

Thank you @Binky1234

I don't understand why my sister isn't being so unreasonable. We use to be close. I know she wants me to be at her wedding, but I have to put my health first, growing my baby and look after my other children. I did feel upset when I told her I couldn't and won't put myself through stress traveling 5 hours in a wheelchair with a baby and my 3 other children. My sister understood at first I thought and she has made me feel bad about it all through my pregnancy, calling me names, asking for money towards her wedding been negative about my pregnancy.

Plus she travelled passed my home a few months ago to pick up a new pet and refuse to visit me when she travelled 14 hours altogether in her car.

Come to think of it as children she always blamed me if she did anything wrong and was always stealing my things. Now she is very judgemental if things don't go her own way.

I love her to bits but I can't deal with her being so horrible.

Jimm_Scope

It can be really difficult when the people who are meant to be there to support you just don't.

Have they seen you at all recently, so they know what condition you're in?

Maybe I'm just being hopeful and naïve that they just don't realise how you are doing because they maybe haven't seen you in person.

Sounds like your aunt and other sister are being supportive though?

sparkleapril

My sister who is being horrible, has seen me have sezuires when I was at her home back in January when I had to flee from domestic abuse.

My oldest daughter drove up with me and I stayed at my sister's and she took me to hospital.

My other auntys and sisters have been really supportive over the phone.

@Jimm_Scope

Jimm_Scope

I guess there goes my hopefulness and naivety. I'm glad you at least have the support of your other aunty and sisters. Unfortunately we rarely get the chance to pick family, but I do think blocking them is a the best move for you from what you've said. Because you should put you first.

sparkleapril

I just feel why hasn't my family visited me when I need them the most.

@Jimm_Scope

Cantilip

oh @sparkleapril that is painful. Of course none of us can say, they might be thoughtless people, they might have horrid probs of their own, but you stay strong and hang on in there and don't even think about your sister. Maybe she'll grow up. Her wedding is not the centre of the world.

Strawberry1

@sparkleapril , I am so sincerely sorry to hear how things are for you . I am terribly sorry to hear about your health issues that must be an horrendous challenge for you ever single day . You really have got such a great deal to cope with . It's very heartbreaking to hear of everything you have been through. You have been through more than anyone could ever cope with. You don't deserve any of this not in the slightest. I will never know how family members can behave so terribly awful to other family members it is beyond me why they act the way they do . You must be at the end of your tether with all this going on . I do wish yourself and the baby nothing but the best in everything. You and others here know that your sisters behaviour is utterly wrong I so wished this wasn't occurring for you . My heart goes out to you and the baby . Time is a great healer so hopefully better times are due ahead or even just around the corner. I actually wonder if your sister is truly happy with her situation is that why you are getting the cold shoulder I don't agree that it should be handled this way it just was a thought I had about it . For now just concentrate on yourself and the baby . Please please please take care of yourself this is the most important thing at this moment in time . Stress isn't great for anyone who's in this situation. Your as important as anyone so look after yourself and hopefully this issue will pass and hopefully there will be a good outcome sometime very soon. Sending gentle hugs