Grandson ripping his clothes

melissa1964

Hi, I'm here because I have a grandson that lives with me. He has extra chromosome a little verbal. He started ripping his clothes. I have trowed away 3 large garbage bags that he ripped. Please help... I don't know what to do.

melissa1964

Anyone have this problem and have any suggestions of what to do to stop this.

Jemima_Scope

Hi @melissa1964

Thank you for reaching out. I can imagine how frustrating that has been for you to manage.

You mentioned that he started ripping his clothes. I’m assuming this is a new behaviour for him. I’m wondering if there’s been any change for him that has happened during this time.

He could be ripping his clothes as a coping mechanism to deal with an issue. It could also be a sensory need. It might be useful to starting to thinking about any triggers that may have led to his change in behaviour.m

Jemima

Family Service Adviser.

 

Doris_Scope

Hi @melissa1964

A warm welcome to the community.

Are you able to give any more information about your grandson’s condition and what this means for him?

Ripping clothes is difficult and also expensive.  There could also be many reasons as to why he is doing this.

Does your grandson have any sensory needs?  Is he displaying any other behaviours?

Before you can look at suggestions it is important to find out why he is ripping his clothes.

Any other information about what is going on for your grandson would be helpful. 

eeL

melissa1964 Can't say if it's the same for your grandson but I used to rip, it was a stress relief. I still do it, for example if I'm upset and crying and somebody gives me a tissue I'll just tear it into a million soggy pieces! Some of it's when I'm distressed or just struggling to communicate my feelings. There used to be a thread on here about this, don't know if it still exists. Anyhow, I don't find I can stop the destructive tendencies when I'm frustrated by my feelings and don't know what to do with them so I'd say best give scraps of cloth or tissues or something that doesn't matter as a substitute whilst you work out what's going on. Nobody knew when I was a child that I was autistic or had sensory issues and of course at that age I didn't know I was different or that I wasn't SUPPOSED to be unhappy, it seemed to me there were no choices and I just had to do everything I was told even if I was terrified or couldn't stand it. Plus my communication skills aren't great, I struggle to correctly express what I'm feeling. If the feelings are just internalised the stress has to find an outlet, and ripping sure feels good and keeps your hands and mind busy when you want to distract yourself or can't escape troubled feelings! You didn't say how old he is but can he have things to count or something else as a little routine to go through if he's stressed? If you can't talk to your grandson and he doesn't open up, maybe keep a diary of when he does it and what's going on at the time and see if some things are triggering it. I think I was extremely distressed often as a child but didn't know how to express it and nobody picked up on it. Make sure he knows he can always tell you about ANYTHING he's bothered about, even silly things😊I don't think anyone told me as a child that just because everybody else was finding 'normal' things easy it was ok if I didn't. We herd kids along and expect certain things at certain ages as groups and constantly compare them to other kids - I know I silently knew this expectation was stressing me out because I struggled with so many things other kids were happy about and adults loved them and patted them on the back for it. It's not easy to speak up as a child.