What to do during the day

JoannaJoanna

Hi, I've felt so lonely and hopeless lately and I wished I lived with someone or had someone to talk to. I spend my days at home just doing nothing and feel so useless to society. Even though I was disabled and having issues, I always fought to have a job and feel like a contributing member of society, normal and social but I found it really can make you worse and the hiding and faking comes crashing down.

I have all my benefits in place and I should be grateful. I am grateful but I feel worthless and like my life has no meaning because not married and don't have children. I want to be involved in groups or family or something like this but I find my church is quite stiff and not a suitable place to be yourself, tell people the truth, etc as it can lead to shunning and silent shaming. . . being the burden, undue scrutiny and bullying where people just pry until you've been successfully humiliated and then they back off and feel satisfied.

My mom is coming next month and she plans to take me traveling but other than that I feel like a blob who is just sitting here with no purpose.

Cantilip

Over-rated, if you ask me! {Joke, married people.] Never married, no children. You might try doing something new or different, could be anything, follow a recipe for something that looks yummy, try drawing, if you watch TV watch something you've never watched before, if you can see birds or trees from your windows, look them up and find out what they are. If you find something that interests you, get involved in an internet group. Your church does not sound exactly thrilling. could you find another one?

Jeff_dse

I can understand you and your disappointment. I felt almost the same way. I'm going to share my story:

I was a very active men. I had a job, I was practicing sports, I was traveling almost every year to countries all around the world, I had many friends. I was a computer programmer and when my company decided to contract out the computer service, I accepted another job, to be a team leader at the airport. I had a girlfriend and we wanted to create a family, to have kids. 

But a few years ago, I started to have issues with my eyes, photophobia. And after just a few months, it became worse. Since then,  I cannot stand the light and I have to stay at home, in the dark. Doctors couldn't find anything and there's no treatment for that. I don't know how long it will take to recover but I stay confident. I have faith in God. I am Christian but I don't go to the church. 

I steadily lost almost all my friends. They quit on me. My girlfriend broke up because I couldn't recover. I started to have hard time, feeling loneliness and fighting with myself, alone in my apartment and in the dark. I was wondering all day long what I can do but I couldn't find anything.  

One day, one of my last friends gave me an iPhone and I discovered a technology to use it with my eyes closed. I started to go on Internet to find people to communicate with. I was able to get information and to make a request to have a helper. Now, I can do a lot of things like listening to music, videos or to learn  something new. I am also  growing some vegetables on my balcony, mostly tomatoes. I have a cat and it helps me to feel less lonely. But the most important for me, is my faith in God. Otherwise, I think I will be already dead.

I am new on this website and it's a bit challenging for me. I don't know how to send a private message but if you are up to, we can communicate together and I can give you advice from my experience. We can even have audio conversations. I will be pleased to do it. 

Jeff_dse

But please, do not accept in your mind thoughts that tell you that you are useless, hopeless or whatever. Those thoughts doesn't come from God. You have to change your mind if you want to change your life. Because what you do comes from what you think. And it is really what will change your experience. 

I hope my message will be helpful and inspiring. Feel free to contact me if you want. Stay positive and confident.

Yes you are limited but if you think about it, everybody has limitations. Remember that you are a child of God. And to His eyes, the sun and the stars are nothing compared to who you are. 

WhatThe

My advice is that you ignore anyone on this forum trying to contact you privately or offering 'deliverance'

Jeff_dse

my intent was just to give support and to share my experience. We both do not have too much things to do during the day.
But you're right. Nowadays we have to be careful.

You can contact me in private if you're not afraid. You could learn to know me

WhatThe

My advice is that you ignore anyone on this forum trying to contact you privately or offering 'deliverance'

WhatThe

My advice is that you ignore anyone on this forum trying to contact you privately or offering 'deliverance' or spamming the forum!

Albus_Scope

Let's not go pointing fingers please folks.

Though I will add, we don't advise private messaging people where possible. We're just trying to keep folks safe here. 😊

Jeff_dse

I do not understand your reactions guys. Just because I spoke about God?
Think about that: if I was not us visually impaired, I would not have asked to be contacted by private message. I would have found how to do it and you wouldn't have seen any messages.
But anyway. I wish you a nice day

Albus_Scope

Apologies @Jeff_dse sometimes talk of religion can get a bit heated, so we try to avoid it where possible. Though I believe you can worship whoever you want, as long as it's not causing harm to others. 😊

WhatThe

noman, I added 'spammer' at 09:55 because had he posted another two duplicates of his first comment but seems to have removed them now 🙄

I always avoid using the 'g' word as they often mistake it for an invitation to discuss this further 🤪

Albus_Scope

@WhatThe that was done in error. Sometimes our spam filter can be a bit overzealous and had kept the duplicate messages back, which I then had to manually approve then delete. There's no notification to the user that this has happened, so users sometimes hit the post button a few more times than is necessary as they assume it just didn't post.

WhatThe

Ah ok

JoannaJoanna

Hi everyone, I am sorry for the delay and thank you for all the lovely messages.

I am sorry if I accidentally stirred anything by what I posted. I am actually a very serious believer/Christian but I also have felt issues at church so the religious talk is okay with me personally and relevant to me, but I am grateful for the posts letting me know it's not usually taken well on the forum as I wouldn't have known this and so will try not to spread it around and speak so openly.

I just happened to join this forum as I was truly desperate over the weekend and felt trapped at home but I just joined for general conversation and love all the interaction. I don't feel I need any sort of deliverance, more just the human interaction and social connections and to love others and share ideas virtually to keep ourselves afloat.

Thank you all for sharing and for now I do want to try scrapbooking as I do love doing that and preserving happy thoughts and memories. Sorry if I was too open in sharing my struggles.

JoannaJoanna

I don't yet know how to respond to people individually but I read all the comments and appreciate them all. The ones giving me protective guidelines, ideas for solving the problem and even the ones about God - in my case. Thank you all so much as everything has felt so shaky for me but I felt inspired after.

Albus_Scope

Oh please don't worry at all @JoannaJoanna we're all a fairly open bunch here, so if you need to talk about anything, we're all here for support. 😊 We have people from all different religions here, so we tend to not focus too much on that subject, just in case it upsets anyone. We want the community to be an open and safe space for everyone, no matter what.

If you wanted to tag anyone to reply to them, just hit the "@" key followed by the persons name. It can sometimes be a bit temperamental though haha.

WhatThe

Hi Joanna, know you are free to discuss whatever you wish on this forum 😀

My response was out of concern that you were being targeted as a 'lonely woman' by a sweet-talker (somewhere in the world) nothing more. Anyone asking to chat away from the forum should be avoided.

I'm glad you've joined the Scope forum - it's a great place to 'meet' new friends and learn all sorts!

Jeff_dse

I do not know also how to reply individually. I will ask by creating another topic.
like you, I'm a newcomer here. I understood that I was also to open so I will be more careful. But I know that to share my experience can be very helpful as it has been for me.

Albus_Scope

Hi @Jeff_dse I've shown how to tag/reply to people in my reply to Joanna above, I hope you find the information useful. 😊

Jeff_dse

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/894460#Comment_894460