Relapsed

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  • SideshowBob
    SideshowBob Online Community Member Posts: 63 Contributor

    @Catherine21 is it the anxiety making your thoughts race?

    I used to be like that but following a couple of psychiatric breaks (not psychotic, although one was close), I was put on a drug called Olanzepine, for me it's an anti psychotic but it also has a mild sedative and quieted the mind. Hope I'm not being too personal but do you have care of help with your thoughts, I only ask because I've done talking therapies and they can, if some right, be rather helpful

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 3,160 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/901171#Comment_901171

    Ah no not at all have diagnosed with bpd bdd but I'm 100 percent sure adhd autism I'm absolutely fine if I'm not in community or relationships I've masked for so many years and one day caught sunak saying sick note Britain and my world crashed because before that I build my own world I looked strong able presentable even logical gave best advice the person everyone came too and the realisation that I might have to go to the outside world killed me and really looking at what I'm capable of hurt so much because i know id be ok for a week or two then I'd crash amd burn noting would make me leave the house noting I've had CBT god loads of therapy I literally absorb noting ie spelling words numbers hurts because I want to be around people but I find it impossible and that hurts me because I try to have relationships I just feel to much sorry for ramble I think I overshare

  • SideshowBob
    SideshowBob Online Community Member Posts: 63 Contributor

    @Catherine21

    Wow that’s a mouthful.

    I have EBPD & Asperger’s, depression and anxiety as well, and I sometimes find the world a horrible place to navigate through. What helps me is my favourite saying “Little steps and From acorns grow oak trees”.

    Just having that seed in side you that suggests “Go get em kiddo!” Proves to me that you can do it (whatever you feel up to doing). I and everyone else here are rooting for you to come through this low that you find yourself in.

    I’m always here for anyone, so if you need to ramble send as many messages as it takes to sick it out.
    This is definitely the forum to do that, but only say as much as you feel comfortable with, don’t want you feeling guilty or ashamed about anything. Remember little steps.

    Are you religious at all? If you are try reading the poem “Footsteps”

    Sorry about the lateness or early, I have only just woke up.

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 3,160 Championing

    Yes I do believe thier is more to life than this just never known the life to feel so different and as you know having bpd takes you to dark places having to many emotions sucks especially the emphatic side but I love this group so many kind people I will look that up now thankyou so much

  • SideshowBob
    SideshowBob Online Community Member Posts: 63 Contributor

    @Catherine21 and any others who see this. I am not the best Christian but this poem is very helpful for those that loose their faith a bit.

    One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
    Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
    In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
    Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
    other times there were one set of footprints.
    This bothered me because I noticed
    that during the low periods of my life,
    when I was suffering from
    anguish, sorrow or defeat,
    I could see only one set of footprints.
    So I said to the Lord,
    “You promised me Lord,
    that if I followed you,
    you would walk with me always.
    But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
    there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
    Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”
    The Lord replied,
    “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
    is when I carried you”.

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 3,160 Championing

    Ah in tears very very powerful thankyou 🙏

  • SideshowBob
    SideshowBob Online Community Member Posts: 63 Contributor

    @Catherine21 Do not cry chickpea. But it is a very poignant poem.

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 3,160 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/901243#Comment_901243

    It really is I become so trapped in myself that the darkness takes over and this is exactly what I needed thankyou for your kind words and support much appreciated hope you have a fantastic day

  • SideshowBob
    SideshowBob Online Community Member Posts: 63 Contributor

    Back at ya.
    I find the poem helps me when things seem hardest.
    I won’t harp on about religion as it’s not to everyone’s liking but the adage that “the lord moves in mysterious ways” is always true, we may not see the end but we can walk in his light to guide us.
    sorry that’s it no more religious stuff from me. I hope that you have the most awesome of days @Catherine21

    I will be silent now as at work but feel free to message as I do dip in and out to keep abreast of things

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