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Noise Stress almost unbearable

BrokenSteve

Hello, I just signed up because I'm desperate to talk to someone about this.

I'm an old guy who's disabled (physical and mental issues) and I have ultra sensitive ears to certain frequencies and some sounds cause intense stress in me, ie a dog barking (like the neighbours who is frequently at it) and other things.

Normally it's a struggle to cope but recently it's become even worse as for the past few weeks, i'm getting 4-6 people outside my bedroom window (in the alley) at 2,3,4am and they talk/laugh/argue loudly and it causes me such stress. Who stands in a back alley at 3am? are they druggies, thieves or what?

at this point I'm not dreading each time I go to bed, i've even considered shoving something in my ear to damage my hearing. Sadly moving house is not possible but this stress is making my life a TOTAL misery right now and I don't know what to do.

Steve

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BrokenSteve

I can't find the edit button: "Not dreading" should be "now dreading".

Rainbowandsunshine

Hi Steve.

Sorry to read you are struggling with sensitivity, I would call the police regarding the people in the Alley at early hours of the morning.

Or get CCTV.

If the neighbours dog constantly barks could you not speak with your neighbour?

Sometimes having a chat may make things better, if that doesn't work you could speak with the council, their are steps you can take.

Hope things improve for you.

Razr

the edit button is on the right-hand side of your post, it is a circle with 3 dots in it, and you only have a certain amount of time to edit, 6 mins I believe

NotReally

Autistic here, so, yeah - I totally get the noise stress thing.

I have found that foam ear plugs for sleeping is very effective, although they do need a couple of nights to get used to them, but once I did they were great. Probably the cheapest you can get to start with just to see if you can get comfortable with them. I used to get beige-ish ones for motorcycling, and they are very effective, so if the cheap ones are comfortable enough, but don't block out enough noise, there are other options. I'll try to remember to look at the brand of the last two sets I have left. I went through about a packet a month, roughly, they don't last forever.

Also, and I've not tried these, but I need to get a set, is the "EarLoops" brand; I need them for out and about, my sister finds them good, although she found that she can't use them for sleeping, but I think they do have sets for sleeping. They're pricier, so I'd say try the foam plugs first.

~~Alternately, yeet something flammable out the window~~ … ~~and~~ DON'T DO THIS! 🤣

BrokenSteve

Thanks.

I have tried so many different earplugs now, both cheap ones and expensive ones and none of them work for me.

NotReally

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/915919#Comment_915919

Ah, damn, I'm sorry.

When you say they don't work, in what way? Comfort, or don't block noise sufficiently, oooor … ?

ohmygod

Hello Brokensteve, I am sorry to hear you are not well , and I do wish you well, the noise in the ally with people, I would contact the police or the council and get a cctv if you can to help you and to feel safe, it is not fair for anyone at any age to feel uncomfortable in their own home, I wish you well take care and I truly do hope things get better for you.

GJT1

You need headphones or something with ‘Noise cancellation’ that is what they call it. My Bose headphones have it and I cant hear anything else other than what is playing through the headphones

BrokenSteve

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/915927#Comment_915927

None of them blocked the noise. I have amazing hearing and it's more a curse than a good thing.

Tanya8

I have moved from a very rural location into a pretty normal road and initially found it really hard… Things that work for me are

White Noise or a radio (talk) or TV on low - my TV has a timer function - also Alexa will play all sorts of different sounds for you to fall asleep to (you can leave it on all night if you wish)

If people in the alley wake you and your windows are closed, call the police. I have a dog myself and a responsible owner will not mind if you raise a noise complaint with them (I do suggest you try this first before going to the council, for the sake of keeping things cordial)

I have also replaced the old double glassing with new and the noise has reduced a lot

ocean

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/123293/noise-stress-almost-unbearable

Hi ✋️ yes contacting the housing about the noises your having around your home is a good idea. My son has sensitive hearing - maybe you could explain to the council about the difficulties your having. Speaking to your neighbour maybe a good thing if consideration is shown that would be nice

I am not sure about ear plugs as in an emergency you'd need to hear 🤷 ✋️

SeasideAnne

Hi, I use a white noise machine. I have very sensitive hearing too and can hear things next door that none else can. I can hear all sorts of things that are below most people's hearing and it isn't funny or helpful. I'm in my 70s and surely my hearing should be worsening? Anyway it stresses me out so much, so I know what you mean. I use the white noise machine, I bought it from Amazon, they don't seem to have the one I got anymore, but there are others. I use it on 'waves' but it has a variety of sounds. It doesn't stop me hearing things but it sort of dulls them, and it is soothing as well. Maybe that would help? I had soundproofing put in between my bedroom and next door and it was so expensive, and I have to say I don't think it really helps. Plus their dog loves to bark and is in the back garden a lot barking away, so the soundproofing wouldn't help with that. I like dogs and manage to 'put up with' that, but loud music, arguments that go on half the night and loud TV etc are annoying and stop me sleeping.

Scrapper

Hi Steve, this sounds awful for you. I find certain types of noise very grating especially at night so I understand.

I see you've tried earplugs but I'm not sure what else. Sorry if I suggest something you've tried. You can buy a band that is like earmuffs but not so bulky.

I use my phone to play rain sounds. It helps my brain to switch off certain tapping sounds that fray my nerves but it doesn't always work. Have you tried it? You could find a sound you don't mind that works for you. It won't stop the sound but might cancel it out.

You can get sound proof curtains that block some noise. You could put them to the window and perhaps hang some between your bed and the window too. Or add a screen between. I think if you can reduce it then it might not wake you.

If I was dealing with people outside my window I'd rig up a security light because if they are up to no good they won't want to be illuminated. It might deter them. As someone else suggested you could report them too.

As far as the dog barking goes I know it can be a pain. I have a dog myself and if my neighbour said he was barking I'd assume it was because my dog was unfamiliar with them (I get all dogs are different). What I'd do is ask my neighbour if they'd mind meeting him and saying hi and giving him a few treats. That way he'd realize oh it's only Steve next door no need to get upset. Is your neighbour approachable because if you did this you could just tell him to hush and he'd know you were nothing to bark at.

Can you sleep with the light on? Maybe the people outside will keep away if they think you're awake.

It's an awful situation and I'm sorry I'm not much help. I hope you get it sorted though.

orangeapple57

Apologies if someone already said this but go see your GP explain the difficulty you are having ask if they will support you, speak to age UK and your local PCSO then go to your local council and explain you have all these people supporting you and you exhausted all their suggestions and now you need support with housing so you can move somewhere that the sound due to your location is causing distress and for medical reasons would like to be rehoused somewhere that has no alleyway and no excessive barking.

I suggest the latter as a last resort so that you can get away from the alley and noisy neighbours. My neighbour is dreadful and took to putting up egg carton tiles to reduce the echo resonating in my room. I can't wear the loop things so I have to find alternatives. To maskuch noise I put on a fan to create white noise.

Good luck

Woodview1

I am so sorry that you have a problem with noise nothing worse not sure about dog if you speak to owner and nothing gets better you will be more upset yes ring police you have a right to peace

BrokenSteve

Thanks for the comments.

I did consider speaking to my doctor but I really don't think there's anything he could do, I don't believe he could reduce my hearing by about 50% unfortunately.

I did email the police with just a query about the people outside, but I got no reply.

You see, not only do they wake me up and get me stressed so I can't get back to sleep, but my warped mind starts racing "why are they outside at 3am?" "are the druggies, are they going to attack me?" "are they thieves, are they going to break in" etc.

Yes, I'm quite broken.

orangeapple57

1. GP may have a suggestion or be able to investigate any medical reasons for the hearing sensitivity and a supportive letter will unlock more services available. GPs are just a gateway.

2. PCSO isn't exactly police they're local neighbourhood volunteers who help on a more local basis. You can find them via 101 or a quick search on the net for your local PCSO.

Jimm_Alumni

Hey @BrokenSteve, there may be things the GP can do, or refer you too, to help that isn't about lessening your hearing. You shouldn't just mention about being able to hear, but about the thoughts that you can't help but think and how it stops you sleeping. I would also mention that you've considered drastic measures to reduce your hearing to get across the seriousness, this should prompt them to seek what can be done to help.

There are actually some hearing aids that help with oversensitivity to hearing for example.

NotReally

If you wanted to try more effective earplugs (assuming that you've not tried these already!), these are the ones I used for motorcycling:

BrokenSteve

Thanks, I have tried many many different ear plugs, both cheap and expensive ones and none worked. I've also just found out off a neighbour that there is drug dealer there and the people at 2,3,4 are druggies.

This has caused me such intense stress that I've not even eaten today, I feel sick with worry that they will break in and rob me or attack me. I know this is probably over the top but I am a massive worrier and frequently get anxiety attacks from worrying. Even a neighbours door slamming late at night is enough to give me an anxiety attack so this thing is off the charts worrying level.