Drinking

ohmygod

Hi everyone I hope you are all well and have a great day,

I am a retired alcoholic, I will never drink again as it sent to ICU for 25 days and total hospital stay of 2 months, I now have ARLD and oesophageal varies which caused me to have a cardiac arrest, so will I drink again NO I will not as I know it will kill me,

so my question is, I have been asked to go to an AA meeting this is something I feel I do not want to do, i have never ever been to the , I was asked to go to share my experience in the hope it might help others as I do not think about drink, crave or want to or take part drinking that posies ever again, so do I go or not ? , my son says no as he says, your subconscious can take in the word alcohol and you might want it again, I understand what he is saying to me and like he said you have detached yourself away from anything to do with it, so what are your thoughts on this please

Thank you for taking the time to read what I have posted

ohmygod

My grammar is terrible I apologise

malvinmulch

I would say that having a support group would be a good thing as it's a group of people who understand, it would help you if temptation ever arose i.e. a support group, plus its somewhere you could be brutally honest about what drove you to drink in the first place if thats something that would help you?, whether the cause was: socially that got out of hand or past trauma that caused you to use it to "numb" the pain or something else entirely.

I would say go and at least see what you think, your tale might well save another from your experience (that alone would ethically be worth it) and if you don't like it, its not like you would ever have to go back.

Afagh

Hi

ohmygod

Thanks for sharing.

I see you have a PC why not look up on the internet.

There are many things you can do yourself, choose which one you like to follow.

Good luck

Razr

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/124224/drinking

I have been to AA and found it to be a trigger so I stopped going, what works for some does not for others,

My brother however still goes and has not touched drink again in over 10 yrs

I agree with your son after all he probably knows you better than they do.

It is all Higher power related and passing your control over to the 12 steps set out in a book

I hope this helps and i am happy to answer any questions from my experience of going

Bluebell21

Hi @onmygod I think you have to do what is best for you. It works for some not for others. Only you can know what is best for you. Take care.

Catherine21

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/925492#Comment_925492

i was drinking three bottles red wine every other day and day i wasnt drinking i was taking night nurse totally addicted to that for years the next day the anxiety fear vulnerability and saying never again 12 o'clock afternoon came straight on it again even though my mind was screaming no this was a cycle for years and one day I thought I cant do this anymore went to gp he referred my to turning point joined group on zoom and for first time I actually listened and I just stopped how I don't know getting past 12 in afternoon was hard I stopped buying it I didn't have friends that I would drink with so nobody encouraging me ah sorry the reason I went to gp was ny daughter contacted my only friend and said she was worried about my drinking I called my daughter a lier I don't drink I said when I thought about it I felt sick that's the reason so been over two years did have one relapse over all goverment but I didn't enjoy at all sorry that's a ramble and I truly believe I will never drink again for my daughters sake I see her more I look after her dog if I was drinking I would make excuses not to see anyone consumed my whole life

NDmummy

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/124224/drinking

I think maybe as Razr, says your son knows you well and is concerned how it will affect you, plus you don't sound comfortable with the idea, maybe your gut telling you NO. Always listen to your gut. Yes it would be philanthropic, compassionate even but if your uncomfortable with the idea as is your son do not let anyone emotionally blackmail you into attending. Group therapy and baring your soul to strangers isn't for everyone and you need to be kind to you and not risk your own welfare. You've been given a second chance there may not be another down the line. Your story and might help someone else but the telling of it and possibly fielding questions from the group may be traumatic and triggering. If you wanted to contribute something tell whoever invited you that you don't feel safe to attend in person. You could maybe write your story if your able , maybe with your son's help and support, like a reflection. What led you to drink, how long you were drinking , what problems it caused, what triggered self destructive drinking, what you lost due to drink, your lowest point and your turning point.. You include your feelings at points , how you felt , what you regret, what you learnt from the experience and how you have moved on, strategies to deal with triggers in future, hopes for future etc. If they don't want that then you tried and if your able to do a reflection it could help you lay demons to rest . It could be a really rewarding experience for you and your son. Sorry this turned into War and Peace, I personally couldn't think of anything worse then bearing all my faults and insecurities to a room full of strangers

BTW don't apologise for your grammar, it's the meaning not the structure that's important

ocean

What is comfortable for you is what truly matters. If you decide to go back and help others what better example could there be? The support network is there to reach out whatever you decide.By the way we'll done!! fantastic achievement 👏

ohmygod

Hi @Razr thank you for your reply

ohmygod

thank you all for your replies, it is for me to decide I know, was just wonder what other people thoughts were on this matter, but thank you all anyway take care

ohmygod

Hi @Razr thank you for your reply, I for got to say congratulations to your brother and you for making the right decision for your self, well done

ohmygod

HI all, I would like to say thank you for all of your replies, and some have really hit home and after speaking to my son, I have to say as much as I would like to help others , I can not on this occasion, I have come a long way and to go back to that place is something I am not prepared to do ever again, my life health future and my son is the most important part of my life, so once again I am grateful for your replies, take care all

Jimm_Alumni

Hey @ohmygod, one thing I've had to learn, and am still learning, is that it's okay to say 'no'.

There are times we can help others, but it cannot be to the detriment of ourselves. I don't think you had an easy decision because I understand the pull to feel like you need to do something, so I admire all the more the way you've gone about this and really put thought into your decision. We can help people best when we are in a good place, and that does mean saying 'no' every so often.

Thank you for joining the community! I am just glad we were able to support in some way.

MW123

@ohmygod

Your journey through alcoholism and its serious health consequences is truly inspiring, and your commitment to maintaining sobriety is commendable. However, it might be wise to decline the invitation to speak at an AA meeting for now.

Consider who suggested you speak at this point in your recovery, and what they believe the benefits might be for you. While sharing your experiences can be empowering, you’re still only a few months into your recovery Opening up about such personal matters can be emotionally challenging, and it’s important to give yourself the time and space you need to heal.

If you do want to contribute, you might consider sharing your story through writing or a recorded video message for AA groups or recovery centres. This approach allows you to make an impact without the pressure of speaking in front of a crowd. Your son could even be in the room to support you while you record it.

Your son’s advice comes from a place of love and deep concern for your well-being. He values the stability you’ve worked hard to achieve and wants to ensure you don’t face unnecessary setbacks.

Ultimately, the decision is yours, and your health and recovery should always be your top priority. If you have any doubts about attending, it’s perfectly ok to decline and explore other opportunities when you feel ready to share. Your recovery has been hard-won, especially considering the severe health challenges you’ve overcome.

It sounds like your son is an exceptional person, and it must be incredibly comforting to have someone who believes in you so completely and supports you every step of the way. His unwavering care speaks volumes about how much he values you and your continued recovery. Wishing you and your son all the best for the future. x

ohmygod

@Jimm_Scope

Thank you for your kind words and support, I really appreciate what you have said and took on board what you have said, I agree with you and my son, I will be taking a step back and saying no, take care and thank you

ohmygod

@MW123

Hi thank you for your kind and supportive words you have wrote, it was my support worker who said to go as it will give me support and to one day become a mentor as I have experience , I feel it is not the right place for me and I do not want to sit in a room with people taking about alcohol and drinking, I have come on so far and could only help others if they really want to stop, I am thankful grateful and so lucky I do not have cravings nor do I think about it and I feel for the ones that do, so my answer to going is a no and to step away, I am a strong person and I know if I was to do it again ( which is never again ) it will kill me or be a slow death and do I really want to through the kindness into all the NHS staff faces in the hospital that saved me, No I do not , so I have spoke to my son after I read your message and told him I will not go and he turned and hugged me and said I’m proud of you Mum, I thank you and took on board what you have said , take care x

Jimm_Alumni

Contrary to a lot of belief, I think it takes strength and bravery to admit when you aren't capable of doing something @ohmygod, especially after being asked if you can do it. There will be times where you can help which don't jeopardise all the work and effort you've put into getting where you are today.

It really does sound like you and your son have a really good relationship too, I'm glad that support is there for you. Oh, I might give my mum a call tonight too after reading your story.

ohmygod

@Jimm_Scope ,

Thank you, you are very kind with your words and I appreciate what you have said, aww , giving your Mum a call that’s lovely x

ohmygod

@Jimm_Scope

My son and I do have a wonderful relationship, I love him so much I could crush him with hugs cause I hug him so tight and don’t want to let go ever x