Im struggling what to do - Struggling with partner, feel reliant on him

LouiseBB

Im finding life incredibly hard right now I’ve expressed to my partner how I am feeling and I don’t like what I’m having to go through right now and he constantly doesn’t help my mental health by saying things to other people in front of me he doesn’t trust no one but himself and his mum and don’t include me and when I questioned it he just replies yeah its true. Then in arguments when I say look I don’t feel the same anymore of the love because he’s stopped doing what he did when we got together like emotional touch, saying I love you with lots of hearts and kisses, and messages to say hope you have a good day when I go out, and not interested in sex, he doesn’t buy me flowers anymore, and he’s always on his phone when whenever watching a movie and don’t pay attention when I try talking to him yet when im in anther room hes online talking to other people. I’ve told him all that what Ive noticed yet he responds “oh here we go again Ive never changed what is the problem, please don’t start a argument again ive had enough of hearing that all my life, im a failure I cheater and a lair from exes so im not surprised you of all people would say the same things too” so i then say look if you don’t change where done and his only response is to that is “ oh you always say that give it an hour and youl say I didn’t mean it” when in fact nothing has changed.

I feel stuck as he knows I have to rely on him as im disabled and have learning difficulties as I also have no friends or family who can help me day to day as I not only don’t have a car but I can’t even afford a carear ever.

im already on universal credit as a joint account with the disability element, and standard rate pip due to im struggling and on housing benefits with rent and tax but it doesn’t help my money situation as I still have to pay huge amounts to council tax and money out of my universal credit extra to rent as universal credit does not cover all of my rent costs

Im not eligible for disability discount ever as apparently I have to have 2 bathrooms to be eligible for the disability discount but that is not possible as living in a tiny 1 bed bungalow according to the council as 5 times I’ve requested for help from them as im struggling financially.

Sandy_123

Hi @LouiseBB welcome to the forum. It sounds a difficult situation for you with your partner.

Bluebell21

Hi @LouiseBB Welcome to the Community from me too. I am sorry things are so difficult for you. It does not sound as if your partner is taking you seriously when you bring these subjects up. He seems to be avoiding addressing the issues you have. You are not talking about x partners you are talking about your relationship.

Can you perhaps tell him how upsetting you are finding all this and that you need it addressing. It is not about an argument it should be a discussion.

Take care.

LouiseBB

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/929879#Comment_929879

thank you much appreciated, yeah it definitely feels that way of which I don’t know how to cope anymore I just feel stuck and lonely in my head and can’t make my own decisions anymore, and feeling like I have no fight in me anymore

Bluebell21

Hi @LouiseBB We are always here if you want to chat or have any questions. Sometimes just being able to tell someone else can help. Nobody knows who you are. Please take care of yourself.

Jimm_Scope

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/931993#Comment_931993

Hey @LouiseBB, we are here if you'd like to talk about what is going on. Can I also ask if you received an email from us at all? We went one last week, just want to know if you've seen it 🙂