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How to handle emotions

Bluesky123

Hi everyone I was abuse my whole my own father I'm thinking a lot about it and makes me cry lot off times I always think about it when I try to get a happy thoughts about my upbringing I'm the oldest off everyone off my siblings I'm seeing professional at the day hospital and I always feel unwanted cause I've work so hard in the bringing up off my brothers I was a hyster and paid a lot off money paying school fees Christmas clothes school clothes and so much more like I always there for there needs today they got their own businesses and good jobs and they seem to forget what I did for them it's like I never had a family they just not interested in I and my children and never there to help is it ok to feel like this any advice please

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colejames

Hi Bluesky123,

Your emotions are yours, there is no need to worry or feel wrong about having them. It sounds like you've had a really rough time of it but, from the end of your message, you have a children and a family of your own. Like you I'm having counselling myself for ptsd and sexual abuse and sometimes we can be too hard on ourselves and try to suppress our emotions because we are worried about what others would think. I've learnt that suppressing them isn't really a solution.

Is there a sibling to whom you are closer out of your family? If so why not explain to them how you are feeling. If they care, then maybe they could help you with explaining to the rest of your siblings how you are feeling.

Unfortunately sometimes families do grow apart, mine did. There is no right or wrong. It doesn't mean that the love has gone just that we don't share interests or opinions. Sometimes just saying that you love someone can break down barriers.

There will hopefully be responses which can give you a better way of dealing with your situation. I do try very hard not to pass on what has happened to me to the my own family. My family had a generational use of guilt as a method of control. That is the only time that I may control my emotions as I won't allow them to continue past my generation.

Just remember you are not at fault because of how you feel, your emotions are the result of your experiences. it is what makes us the person we are and you come across as someone who really cares and loves their family.

cupcake88

hi there I’m sorry your not in a good place . I myself suffer with mental illness due to some thing some one did to me . I’m under a community team . I’m guessing the day hospital is what I would call home base treatment like a crisis team am I right ? I know With in my community team they have handling emotions Group work which I could never really do because I don’t like group work . But therapist are also very good at helping with emotions

Bluesky123

Hi thanks everyone for your care and sending messages back with advice I feel a little better the main reason I think I'm feeling this way because off my own father whom said I was on drugs and ended sosial services taking my child from me I was working at a medical center when my mother pass on I didn't really think about it and resign just like that to look after my 6 brothers and father thing is I did know my father is a abuser but he cried on my shoulder around 2 at night that we must love each other and stand together as a family I cook for them wash their clothes I was like a made and all of a sudden when I enter a room there was silents not knowing they were discussing me after that they didn't have me any money towards food or toiletries I start to feel alone like no one was on my side it was almost time for me to give birth and I wake up one morning a letter was laying on the bucket I had one in front my bed cause we got to the point where my father said I can't use there water bucket's or stove I make everything at the neighbors and when I was not there he would steal our food and leave only dry bread back to the letter it's was a letter that i must contack Mister ebulvo I went and I explained and he said I don't need to worry cause he can see that I'm not on drugs I ask can sosial workers can send me for drug test and he said yes everytime I would go but somehow the sosial worker were always sick or not there a month did past and a lot has happened I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and I was very unhappy cause the time I found out I'm pregnant their father passed on I'm raising my three children on my own I went to my husband mother house for money for diapers come back feed my girls and my baby wash them and lay down breastfeeding my baby and maybe after a half a hour the police came in our room and a bottle for my baby and diapers my brothers fight with the police people they took my baby and they said we must stop other wise they will take my other two children too they took my child I cried whole night and went to my mother's sister whom did go to sosial services with me and ladies from our community to they said that they bring my baby back and my father said they don't know where my aunt stay I went to my father's mother and she said that she don't want to be involved with our family business I was staying at friend's house when the sosial workers come look for me my child were in red cross children hospital I took my priest with me and they prayed for him and Batist him in hospital I lost contact again with sosial workers and was send to different sosial workers I was looking for my child and one day I was going to sosial workers for food parcel and they send me to other office nearby us when I got there I didn't get any food parcel but I remember that I was there before looking for my child and I ask to see someone who can help me in two weeks God reconcile I and my baby boy who is now 11 years off age I got him for two years now and look what is happening with us sleeping here and there and landlord who don't have a heart my family is filled I don't feel empty like before only sad that I have this sickness and can't provide for my family my family and friends are no where to be found my children are so sad I'm too waiting on God to help us God bless cause it's not nice depending on other people have a nice day God bless yous🙌🙏