Adult protection order

CropRotation1172

social work called

said any violence they will call 999

i'm scared. they make it sound like i'm violent or a threat of violence

it sounded like a threat

should i be scared. i am

durhamjaide2001

I am so sorry this is happening to you today I have bumped this post up on the discussions so someone should see this soon

Jimm_Scope

Hey @CropRotation1172, that does sound like a scary phone call to receive. How are you doing just now? We will be sending you an email later today, please do keep an eye out for it if you can!

CropRotation1172

They came and went. Sorry. I was frantic about them coming.

Told me I could get an advocate involved. I had one of those when I was homeless and losing it completely, and even then I was thinking, "Who's supposed to be looking out for who here?"

As far as Social Work are concerned?

Trust Them « Throw Them

I'm not mentally well enough to know what to do. Fear they'll do me over. I shouldn't have been put in here. Noises make me panic. I feel surrounded.

I've been here for 4 weeks exactly. In that time, I've been in High Dependency. My building key was lost in the ambulance or the hospital. They want £90, I can't live here, I won't pay to be tortured in the head. I can't put rubbish out.

—

Background

Someone tried killing me twice in last flat. Psych moved me out of there after 2 years hiding in the corner of my bedroom playing Russian roulette with insulin. Could not live in another flat. Moved to a house in November of 2021. I'm terrified of unpredictable drink/drug abusers. Trips outside are kept to a bare minimum. I'm damaged because of this.

After that move from flat to house, I didn't improve all that much, but I was at least feeling safe in the house and I wasn't doing anything silly. Worst was the stoners next door always needing money for a life-saving operation or whatever it was to buy more drugs, but I didn't class them as junkies/alkies. Just the Gallaghers from Shameless.

Went to the Homeless Service last year. April 2nd, when wife and I split. First trip out anywhere on my own in about 5 years. I assumed that with my previous record, there was no way the Homeless Service would place me anywhere other than a bungalow or a house. I have 3 kids. I won't go over the door. I was getting a taxi as soon as I left, to wherever I had to go. They said, "Ah, but that was back then, doesn't mean you can't now. Unless you get input from a psych."

Next thing, I'm in a shed in a friend's back garden, in freezing cold temperatures. Went to his house, he was on holiday. (He left the heater on in his shed. I must sling him £10 for electricity. Saved my life.)

So I found myself homeless, outside on my own and unfit to be there. Refusing offers of shooting gallery hostels, a B&B that doubles as a brothel, and scatter flats described to me as if they were a country estate. Local knowledge, on the other hand, allowed me to be fully aware that these places were basically like Bosnia in the early 90s.

I hadn't been able to leave the house I'd been moved to as I was scared of going out on my own. Got signed off by the psych because of it. Obviously, I needed help from that psych.

GP Surgery directed me to the wrong mental health service three times last year. I asked three times for my old psych. Told to self-refer three times. Only at the end of the triage call for the third discharge was the lady nice enough to say, "This is 1st Line Support, you need the Community Mental Health Team." - This was 7 months later. I broke down in tears and explained what had gone on. Said I was going to complain.

(E-mail I got the first time I was signed off told me that I was beyond treatment. Still amuses me to think of what my friend said. He put me up for all those months. Said that the only other person he'd heard of who'd been told that they were untreatable was the "Limbs in the Loch" murderer! I retained my very dark sense of humour. Wouldn't have lasted without it.)

Coincidence or magic, you tell me, but 2hrs after that call the Homeless Service made offer number 24. Independent Living. I had to take the 24th offer, regardless of what it was. I had to move on. I thought maybe, just maybe.

—

The Homeless Service said, "We'll make it ready for you to live in."

I turn up at their Heroin Heights HQ, terrified that it was a flat, but I was thinking that if it's a home and the neighbours are quiet, then I might stand a very outside chance.

So, what exactly does "ready for you to live in" entail, and do bear in mind here that I was mentally broken and mentally exhausted. I'd been hiding in garages. Spending nights behind shops. Hospitalised a dozen times last year for various reasons. Basically for me to go there, it had to be ready to live in as I arrived here after 230 or so days of constant panic.

Basically, the last person left a cooker, and I won't use one. Terrified I'll do something wrong. Don't trust myself. Air fyer or microwave, OK, but not a cooker. None of those.

And they stuck in a fridge (still taped shut - I'm too scared to put the heating on), a washing machine (sorry, I know it's wrong, but I'm broken inside my head and I've not washed or shaved in about 6 months as I can't cope with the simplest of tasks while I'm gripped with this amount of fear).

Knocked back for a carpet.

They handed me about £200 and told me to get a settee. Why bother? Just look at this. I wouldn't know what to do. It's beyond me. I can't organise the bags out of fear that I'll do something wrong.

My daily diet is one sharing bag of pickled onion crisps.

Honestly, this is such a wrong place for me that I can't pull myself together to do anything. No curtains. Nothing. I forget about one thing that's terrifying me when something else does exactly the same thing.

I was made to feel that I'd be offered a bungalow, or a house if there wasn't one. Wouldn't have left my last home otherwise.

I haven't got my own living space. I feel surrounded. Noises driving me up the wall. Stomach jumps with every thump.

To place me back in surroundings which make me feel in fear for my life, where I'm going off my head, and three kids have been left fatherless? I'm struggling.

I'm being driven out of my skull. I'm frozen still in bed, I can't even begin a simple task. I'm dead set against living here. I won't even make an attempt at living here. I feel betrayed.

Couldn't get any help. Accused of all sorts.

Biggest problem I have is that I'm switched on in an academic sense. Won annual awards with a finance firm 2017 & 2018 before it all came crashing down as a result of my wife's gambling addiction and complete unwillingness to give a damn about landing me with bankruptcy fears (I had to stop working because of this - lost my reason for being) and red-flashing-light-and-Klaxon amounts in debt. I'm very careful. I'd go without food sooner than go into debt for it.

Seen psychs in 10-minute spells in hospitals. You place me with one, and I'm as professional as anyone. Nowt wrong with me, they say. Even been accused of, "Playing the system," when I haven't a clue what I'm playing at, but I do know I'm not playing with the full deck, as they say.

Leave me on my own with a single concern and I'm an utter madman. I lose touch with who I am. Come to insane conclusions. Told people damaging things on the phone.

I said something to NHS24 about my wife, she was on the phone screaming about it, and I'd have put the lives of my three kids on me not saying it. Absolutely certain. Believe me. She's the main carer for my three kids. They matter more than anything. What I said endangered this. I have no recollection of saying it.

Can you imagine how scared this makes me?

I don't know how many times this has happened. How can I? That's someone else.

Friend who's well read on such matters, but isn't a professional, has suggested such things as bipolar, schizophrenia, and something called aboulominia, which I prefer to call Abbamania.

Got here on Christmas Eve. Absolutely desperate. Ambulance that night. High Dependency. Drips in each arm. Ketoacidosis.

Lost building key in the ambulance or in the hospital. Can't put rubbishout.

I was in bed with clothes and coat on during the freezing weather because I'm scared of bills. Can't look at official paperwork. Frightened out of my skin.

Needed a welfare check last Monday. I've been trying to see a psych for almost a year. Day before it happened marked 3 days awake in constant panic. Seeing things. Hearing voices. Asked NHS24 to lock me up. Said nothing they could do at a weekend.

Monday morning, I'd had about 1.5hrs sleep, said to the homeless support worker I'd do something desperate. Didn't mean it. But I've got no support. Wanted locked away, so I could be calm, eat something, and see someone.

Remember - I wanted the mental health help that I'd asked for on 3rd April, 2024 - and this was on 13th January, 2025.

During the week before it, I'd come round at God-knows what time. Didn't know where I was. Shouted on my wife. No-one there. Screaming the place down. Around 10 minutes later, the penny drops, I'm in hell, I've no support whatsoever, and I feel my life is at risk.

I had asked my wife to aid me in my search for help, as I'm so inept in terms of my communication skills. Said no. We split as she'd concluded in her mind that I don't love her. I've been so mentally unwell since losing the ability to work that I can understand this. I've been a shell of a man. But I loved her then, now, and always. There's a song by Morrissey, called You Have Killed Me, and that's the way I've been feeling since I left. Right up to the very last line.

I can't go on from that. I'm in accommodation that's driving me bonkers, which is preventing me from even organising those boxes. There's an overwhelming sense of bitterness regards being placed in this set of surroundings. I cannot move on, and I will not move on, unless I have somewhere that allows me to move on.

And it gets even worse.

Police came with the thing for putting the door in. I can't lock it. Scared I'll need rescued. On the way out, the neighbour was screaming I'd frightened her son because he'd seen the thing for ramming the door. Said she was going to get me kicked out. I had to get police to bring me back as I was terrified.

I don't have a doctor now. The surgery that sent me to the wrong place repeatedly booted me off their list last week. Up for the Welfare Check. Police took me up, I could hear the doctor saying to them, "Nothing up with him, all behavioural," then he accused me of acting and told me not to come back.

They couldn't wait to boot me off their books. Pal works there. Word must've got back that they'd sent me to the wrong place three times and I was lucky to be alive given the events that occurred between the first discharge and moving into this mental-health-mangling property. I honestly feel like there's been gross negligence. I'm furious with that doctor. Feel he should be struck off.

Now, I feel worse than awful about next door's boy being frightened but you tell that to his mother. She must think I'm a drug dealer or a bank robber or some sort of vicious villain. I'm terrified of myself, let alone anyone else.

Alone, in unsuitable housing, I go into a panic and with no-one to drag me to the floor I jump 200 steps ahead with every choice I have to make. Feel as if I could be asked, "Salt and vinegar?" and think about it for 6hrs before concluding the SS Dirlewanger Brigade had a gun jammed against my head.

Constant panic. Endless dread. Worse here than I was at my friend's house. Hearing noises. Feeling surrounded. Then this…

Day after police brought me back, the neighbour was punching the door non-stop. All I could think of was the psycho coming to kill me with the knife when I had to barge the door.

Then it stopped. I looked. She wanted to know everything. I was numb. All I could say was that I'm not well. She started screaming at me. I slammed the door in her face and double locked it.

Then I heard her say, "Aww, he's not well, nothing up with him," and as far as I'm concerned? Mocking me in this mental state? That's a Hate Crime. Didn't report it as such. Believe the law is an abhorrent piece of legislation that the East Germans would've been proud of. Dialled 999 as I was fearing death, then police told me to contact the landlord.

I then found a card from the Post Office at the door on Sunday. Assumed something with a neighbour. Neighbour came out, screaming at me. A relative came to visit her, so I pulled myself back to the wall, to let the young lady and her kid past. Meanwhile I'm being screamed at, being told to get inside, and the neighbour was getting me kicked out.

I was looking at the parcel tracker. I told her to leave me alone. She went to the flat at the other side and started telling the other neighbour that I was this, that, and the next thing.

So I said to her, "Do you know that those police came to save me? You know that your son has mental concerns. I have problems in this area as well."

She pushed me. I know the law. I did not retaliate. I went back inside and reported her for assault. Police asked if I wanted to press charges, I said no. I was very specific. All I said was that I wanted to be left alone.

They went to her door, she made up an endless list of allegations against me in response, all made up on the spot, and she got her husband to lie to police that he'd seen me respond to the push with a push in return.

He wasn't at their door. Given where we were standing, he would've needed X-Ray vision, as I was standing in the way, but this is two against one. He has lied to police, but I can't prove anything, and I invited police in after they'd been next door.

They saw what I'm not even attempting to live in, because I can't. It's beyond me.

Next thing, it's an Adult Protection case.

I told Homeless Services I can't live in a flat. The doctor sent me to the wrong mental health team over and over. I shouldn't have been offered Independent Living without input from anyone, so why did I get this offer? I can't live here. I won't live here. Not after what happened previously. And I've got a psycho thug living next to me.

Can't make up my mind as to whether or not I should proceed with the Hate Crime complaint. I don't even want her to be done with assault. All I want is for her to say sorry, then go away, and leave me alone. I'd even be friendly and offer help if it was required. I'm a good person in an awful situation, but I'm angered about the counter-allegation and having my problems mocked by someone who lied to police, with her husband lying to them to provide an imaginary witness for her imaginary claim?

Put it this way. My mind jumps 200 steps ahead into the realms of bonkers without moving a muscle, but what's in front of my eyes is definite. (Unless I've been awake in a panic for 3 days, of course.)

Not sure whether to get police in over the mockery of my mental health.

Same regards the Adult Protection case.

I've been advised to get help from an advocate - I do not think this service is up to it.

I'm an intelligent enough person, in a catastrophic set of circumstances, with 3x 24-packs of juice jamming the door shut in case a violent thug who reminds me of the last flat comes for me.

Please. What do I do?

Sorry I jump around a lot in what I've posted, but I'm overwhelmed, I'm frightened I'm innocent, and I'm incapable of moving.

Morgan_Scope

I’m sorry to hear about the challenges you’re facing, @CropRotation1172. It sounds like an incredibly overwhelming situation.

To get tailored advice on housing and advocacy, you might find Shelter helpful. Their team can offer guidance on housing issues and may help you challenge the current arrangements. For advocacy support, services like VoiceAbility or POhWER can help you navigate the system and ensure your voice is heard.

For your mental health, contacting your local Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) or Mind could help you access urgent support. Mind also has a helpline if you need someone to talk to.

CropRotation1172

Today is my birthday.

I've had people shouting at me on the phone and sending texts telling me everything's wrong and it's all my fault.

When I lost my house, I lost my wife, and my wife was unofficially my carer as well. I've been gone with it since someone tried to kill me.

I wake up in a different mind every day. I don't recognise myself. I'm frightened.

I get told I've done things. I'm certain I've not done them. There's even been a transcript confirming I've said something when I've been so certain that I've not said it I would've put my kids lives on it.

I'm alone and I can't cope.

I fly into a panic constantly.

I take 2 types of insulin. I can't find one. I'm taking loads of a different one, just guessing, so I can order food in.

Sometimes I wake up hungry at 2-3am and I'm hungry and there's no food and I've not eaten in days.

Too scared to move.

It's freezing cold. I'm scared to use heating in case I can't pay. There's council tax wanting money and I don't know how to pay or what to do.

People keep telling me it's all my fault and I don't understand what's going on.

I feel as if I'm being expected to function like a normal person because I can sometimes look normal and I'm really good with some things.

Yesterday I managed to put that post together. Today I can't think much at all except I think it's unfair people are kicking me while I'm in the gutter and terrified someone will murder me.

I'm so scared.

I want taken away so someone will keep me safe.

I don't know what to do.

There's no point calling shelter. They'll tell me this is a house. It isn't. I'm surrounded. There's a threat.

I don't have a doctor. I don't trust doctors.

NHS and so on won't help unless I tell them I'm going to kill myself. But I'm not. I'm scared they'll kill me.

Please tell me what to do.

I don't know what to do.

I need out of here now. I've nowhere to go. No-one to be with. Nobody to screw my head on when it goes flying off.

I got a phone call saying i'd been "behaving aggressively" and can't see kids.

I can't be well enough to see them here so I don't even try. That's breaking me in bits.

I'm incapable of being aggressive. I'm hiding in bed in fear for my life

Why can't i get any help from anyone?

50 today. 50 years too much. but don't want to end it. there's got to be a better waay. somehwhere safe. i want to see my babies again. they took my house away and i don't feel safe.

Morgan_Scope

Hi @CropRotation1172,

It sounds like you're really struggling. It's really important you engage with the services available where you can, but here's some next steps to address your situation.

Immediate safety

1. Call 999 if in danger: If you feel you are in immediate danger from someone or your health is at risk, please call 999. You don’t need to manage this alone.
2. Reach out to a crisis helpline: Contact Samaritans at 116 123 (free, 24/7). They are non-judgmental and can listen to how you’re feeling.

Medical support

1. Access emergency medical care: If you can, go to the nearest A&E department and explain that you’re scared, struggling with insulin, and feeling unsafe. You don’t need an appointment, and they can support both your health and mental state.
2. Contact NHS 24 (111): Speak to someone about your health concerns, including insulin and anxiety. Let them know how urgent it feels.

Safe housing and essentials

1. Homelessness support: Contact your local council housing department (you can find contact details via Shelter Scotland’s website) and explain you are unsafe and homeless. They have a duty to assist.
2. Food help: Use a local food bank. Contact the Trussell Trust at 0808 208 2138 for help accessing one nearby.

Mental health and advocacy

1. Mental health help: Even if you don’t trust doctors, consider calling Breathing Space Scotland on 0800 83 85 87. They are experienced with emotional distress and can guide you without judgment.
2. Advocacy support: Contact an advocacy service (like those listed on the Scottish Independent Advocacy Alliance) to help you communicate with services and make your voice heard.

Longer-term support

1. Reconnect with a GP: Even if you feel hesitant, having a GP can help in accessing housing and mental health services. If trust is an issue, consider bringing someone you trust to appointments when you’re ready.
2. Legal Advice: Contact Citizens Advice Scotland to help with council tax, benefits, or legal issues.

Bluebell21

I am so sorry you are struggling so much @CropRotation1172 Happy birthday. Please take care of yourself.

CropRotation1172

Thanks to both of you.

I know you mean well.

I don't trust anyone and I don't know why investigations about. I'm scared of being alone here kids can't come.i cant see kids they say im aggressive and im scared scared scared scared scared and hiding in bed with door blocked

Homeless service told me this is a house. It's not. it's a flat like where they tried to kill me and the neighbour already attacked me because i got a welfare check to try and get out because i'm so scared that i was up for days and seeing things and hearing voicees

How can I be assaulted, then report it to police, then get a phone call saying I've been acing aggressively?

Nothing adds up i panic all the time i cant think

Someone to come today about council tax paying Didnt come I dont know if they have same number as homeless because i blocked homeless number as they upset me say im single only get flat ill never see kids agains like this

I don't want to be alone. too scared. I've nowhere to live oe eat food. Everybody's either refuse to help or say what things are not like this is a house or i'm aggressive. i am in bed hiding.

hitting is wrong. its against the law. im not bad

its freezing nad i'm really hungry and don't understand things.

wife was carer. i cant handel things now and nobody to phone

asked nhs24 to get me out. won't. sent council email.wont.

CropRotation1172

sorry. never hit anyone in my life i mean. im too small to fight other people hit me

breking down feelings