Please help - any advice for my adult daughter?

robc3

Hello. My daughter, 21 years old, was diagnosed with Autism at 7. She attended a mainstream school and achieved grades sufficient for A levels. She started college at the height of Covid (September 20) but couldn't cope, so she dropped out. She suffers from anxiety and, at this time, had developed a spinal issue, which has now been operated on in January 2025. Her spine has been pinned, and she is now able to walk, but in the long term, it will have complications. We have supported her ourselves, but on July 24, we asked for unemployment/disability support, which has only now been processed, although it will be back-dated. She only qualifies for ESA and no PIP. Her anxiety is massive. We have paid for a private councillor for the last 36 months, and this has helped, and we will continue to do this. The future isn't looking great from an employment point of view, and everything seems hopeless. Any advice or guidance on additional funding support would be appreciated. How does someone in this situation ever live independently, which is her desire, or will she always live at home? With the proper support she could mange to live independently.
Any advice or guidance would be appreciated.

Many thanks

Rob

Rosie_Scope

Hi @robc3, welcome to the community. It sounds like you're already doing a brilliant job of supporting your daughter.

How long ago did your daughter apply for PIP? It may be worth considering whether she would qualify based on her anxiety if she struggles with everyday activities. Sometimes they'll turn people down at the first instance but it's well worth pursuing to Mandatory Reconsideration or Tribunal if necessary.

Does she feel as if she would like to work or volunteer if she was given the right support? Sometimes a small, low-stress volunteering role can be more manageable and can help boost confidence and self-esteem a little. Scope has some information about volunteering that might be useful:

Volunteering to develop your skills | Disability charity Scope UK

I can understand if that's not possible at the moment though, it can be a big step. If her goal is to live independently eventually, there will be small steps she can take to get there if the right support is in place. It's not totally out of the question if that's something she would like to do.

I hope some of our members might be able to offer their experiences and advice soon too 😊

anisty

I agree that you need to challenge the pip decision - it definitely sounds as if your daughter would qualify. Well worth subscribing to is the Benefits and Work site. £19.95 gets you a year's membership, you can download their excellent guide on how to tackle each pip descriptor and also how to challenge decisions.

As to living independantly - is social work involved? They might agree to put a care package in for her. Though i have to say the package they offered for my son was so inadequate he is staying with us at home! (Our son really needs supported accomodation but it's a no go in our area)

I am a huge fan of charity work for young folks of all abilities. It's a huge confidence booster for one thing.

It's great on CVs.

There is no pressure on the young person to 'make friends' with the other staff - often other staff are old ladies so, unlike entering a paid position where you might be expected to join in social activities outside work or come together in the canteen, staffroom etc and chat, with a voluntary position, the older staff are never going to be that young volunteer's peer group.

So the young person feels no rejection at all if not invited to the staff social events and, often, older staff are fantastic for boosting confidences.

And there are gentle opportunities to talk to customers, work on the till, serve the community.