I need somewhere I can talk about carers

kandarohi

Im not feeling this the right place to discuss my topic. My issue is that I feel that my carers are acting in a way that is demeaning & belittling me on a daily basis. Ive just started with this new carer and she is going to destroy my mental health. After a few months of being treated like this Im going to feel its normal & just resignmyself to it. I feel trapped with this carer.

She is coming into my home where I have lived independently for 9 years and belittling me. But i need this carer.

Whats happening is shes coming in and has no idea what my routine is and is just bossing me around. She belittled my recycling saying that it all just gets incinerated. She belittled me saying I was throwing away flowers that were "still fresh" and she wants me to keep rotten flowers in the vase. She belittled me for not folding all the clothes before putting them into a laundry basket. She belittled me for not changing my underwear daily. She belittled me for asking for soap to be put on my back. She made me feel ashamed to ask for a wash saying that her next client will suffer because they will be kept waiting. She told me that I am wrong to want to get into the bath before we start filling it with water and then expected me to put my feet into scalding water…(she was checking the temperature with gloves on). She wants to do laundry everyday so that my flat is constantly filled with evaporating water and damp. She wont listen to me. She poured milk on my breakfast cereal & then told me Im not allowed to eat it until after Ive had a shower.

My home is my sanctuary & Ive always been treated with respect here. Its my safe zone. And now I feel like someone abusive is taking over my space. Im being spoken to like Im an idiot. This is the first week with this carer & every day has been a miserable experience.

My previous carer came once a week for over a year. She treated me like a human being. But this new woman is treating me like someone to just steamroller over. She didnt even introduce herself to me before she started deciding I have no say in anything & that Im just there to do as Im told.

Theres no ettiquette or nothing. Just criticisms, belittling & overriding. It took almost a week to get a bit of eye contact & a brief smile.

I dont feel like this is the right place to discuss this. Im looking for a place where disabled people discuss their experiencing of recieving care. I dont want to be criticising a carer in front of people who ARE carers.

Can anyone please recommend a place where disabled people can discuss this topic with privacy thats just for disabled people?

Thank you

Catherine21

That is awful I used to be a support worker years ago and I've experienced carers like this you have the right to be treated with dignity at all times you have the right to make your own choices I'm very sorry for you my dad said same thing has nurses in everyday he said most of them has lost the human element of caring is there anyway you could replace this lady I'm so sorry your experiencing this its not acceptable I hope you can resolve

Legwax

Kandarohi, I am sorry and was sad to read your post. You're right, she is belittling you and not listening to you. Wherever she is from, can you call them and ask for a replacement? You don't have to have her. I think here is a good place to ask your question because a lot of carers and carer experienced people are here. As you know, they are not all awful! Please don't feel you have to put up with her in your house again.

Rosie_Scope

Hi @kandarohi, we've sent you a message so please look out for that 😊

You will always be welcome to talk about what's happening with you on the community. This section can be used by anyone with experience of care, so please don't feel like you can't post here with confidence.

I'm really sorry your carer is treating you this way, it's not right. As others have suggested, could you get in contact with your care provider to see if they can assign you a different carer?

I sent through some information about making a complaint about the way you've been treated, I hope that's useful to you.

It's not okay for them to be belittling you like that. You deserve to feel comfortable in your own home and live the way you want to live. Hope things start getting better for you soon 💜

Agnia

Hi @kandarohi ,

i would like to write to you that im really sorry about your carer behaviour towards you , and that she does treat you inhumanely in the way you described,

As you said and i totally agree with you your home is your sanctuary and safe zone and such situations as you described should not take place, it is unacceptable for such situations to occur.

Please could you consider changing your current carer to another one and could you get in contact with your carer provider about this matter?

Please take care and best wishes.

Kind regards.

Andided

Hello! I understand how you feel. It is very important to feel safe in your own home. Perhaps you should contact your care provider and ask for a change of carer? You have every right to be respected and comfortable. Don't be afraid to express your needs - your well-being is most important